A TEETOTAL STORY.

Westport Times, Volume VII, Issue 1067, 29 April 1873, Page 4

A TEETOTAL STORY.

Some years ago Victoria was ruled by a teetotal Chief Secretary. By a happy law of compensation his colleagues were—well—quite the reverse. The Chief invited the other members of the Cabinet to dinner, to their infinite dismay. " What shall we do ?" piteously inquired a jovial and learned law officer. " Should we take something before we go ? Or could we smuggle in a bottle of brandy thin, and keep it under the table ?" It was considered that the latter course would be discourteous, and might be discovered, so it was determined to brave the worst and trust to Providence. The dinner passed off heavily enough, and at length the cloth was removed. At this juncture a servant appeared bearing iu solemnly a couple of promising-looking bottles. This reassuring apparition caused an appreciative glow. " Sure the devil isn't as black as he is painted," whispered Lands to his neighbor. The spell was broken however, when the host in blandest tones recommended to the attention of his guests a " remarkably fine sample of raspberry vinegar, manufactured by Mrs herself," indicating his wife. Lands was seized with sudden indisposition. " Call a cab instantly," cried Law, " and I'll take him home." Others good-naturedly offered to assist. And when the cab was fully freighted, the sailing orders were to drive furiously to the nearest tavern, where the strongest whisky and the hottest water could be relied on. —Australasian.