SPECIMENS OF ADVERTISING.

Westport Times, Volume VII, Issue 1067, 29 April 1873, Page 4

SPECIMENS OF ADVERTISING.

This is how our American Cousins fetch the gentlo public:— Consumption, a lung disease, has hitherto been supposed to defy the skill of the whole medical fraternity ; bub now such is not the case. One of our eminent physicians not long ago had a case of the worst description to deal with. His remedy was simple aud efficacious; he simply ordered the patient a wine-glass of Cutter's whiskey live times a day, and recommended him to get it at Hotaling's, in Jackson street, below Montgomery, to insure purity. The patient is now a hale and hearty man, and swears by Cutter's whiskey. The loftiest pine is oftenest Bhaken by the winds, high towers fall to the earth with a heavy crash, and lightning strikes the summit of the mountains, hut this rule does not apply to everything. You cannot get too good furniture, or too substantial, as long, of course, as you combine elegance with durability. To do so, you will have to go to one place, and one place only —that is, N. P. Cole's large warehouse, next the Mercantile Library, on Bush street.

"Don't cut me up in that style." This exclamation, to our utter amazement and horror, came from a joint of beef we were carving, or rather trying to carve ; the wife fainted, the children screamed, and, we—well, we bolted. Our family carver was just a little blunt; since then we have purchased a set of carvers, &c, of M. Price, 415 Kearney street. Our joints now hold their peace, and the family circle is once more happy. A New York monitor asked a pupil of his the meaning of the scriptural phrase " The wages of sin is death." The boy exhibited an ignorance that was truly deplorable—he did not know what wages were, and was what his father got on Saturday night. " Drunk ! " was the answer. Such would not have been the case had the father stuck to Gerke Wine, which " cheers, but does not inebriate," unless taken in inordinate quantities, and even then " death is robbed of its sting," as no headaches ensues. Did you ever know an Irish servant that hadn't a dozen cousins ? A friend of ours says that he once forbade them his kitchen, but it was of no use ; they came, and when ho came they were hid away,' His kitchen chimney smoked one day; he knew not wherefore ; he knows now.. He says a kitchen chimnev will smoke when there is a journeyman baker up the flue. This seems reasonable, and we believe him ; but when he said that he did not use Donuolly's yeast powder, made at 315 Clay street, we pitied him and doubted his saneness.

But some smart Britishers up Auckland" way are good in this line also. From the Thames 'Evening Star' we pet this clipping : —" One of our reporters recently watched while five hundred men passed a large looking glass conveniently placed in a window in a leading thoroughfare at the Thames. The result of his observations showed that 499 men—comprising sharebrokers, speculators, miners, and others glanced complacently at their image as they passed. The other man was. blind. He said the loss of his sight was a great affliction to him; nothing in the world would please him better than to see the great bargains in men's clothing which the people are now getting at Shepherd's, in Albert street. He said his hearing was uncommonly keen, and there was nothing else talked about from one end of the street to the other. Two hundred and sixty-five women passed during the same time, and will it be credited ? Not one of them looked into the mirror, all of them being intently engaged scrutinising each other's appearance and dress. One lady was heard to exclaim, " For goodness sake Mrs Sowerby, just look at the Lambkin's ; did you ever see such extravagance ! I'm sure they can't afford to dress in that way." " Oh, it's no wonder, Mrs Bingle." Why, thev have been buying ever so many things lately at Shepherd's. They are going out of business you know, and are selling off everything, oh, so cheap. Look, I bought this beautiful silk jacket there aud this dress for just baK the price. " How do you like them?" "Very much indeed, they are so becoming. I'm very idad you have told me. I'll go to Shepherd's to-morrow." Ah ! Mrs Bingle could not have seen the Star and Shepherd's advertisements.