AN AGGRAVATED BARBER.

Westport Times, Volume VII, Issue 1066, 25 April 1873, Page 3

AN AGGRAVATED BARBER.

In a Gipps Land Police Court, the other day, a man named Charley Mann, a barber, was Charged With using obscene language that convenient police phrase—and in defence, spoke •as follows:—" Tour worships-, I am the victim of misplaced Confidence in a jealous and designing woman. I neve* can attend a public meeting of an evetoing but that on my return, she harrows toy feelings by an ill-concealed suspicion of my constancy. I am a barber your worship, and my 'domicile is unfortunately of limited dimensions, consequently, afte, a close and un. flinching attention to business throughout the day, when the shades of night approach I require fresh air. A barber, as your worships iare doubtless fcwftre, requires to keep bis hands

scrupulously clean and neat (derisive laughter). Consequently, sirs, if my Wife, in a fit Of jealousy, throws a bucketful of slop* ; 'and dirty soapsuds over my head, I submit, your worships, that it is sufficient to wake my wrath 'aud stir my very soul—in fact, enough to rouse the fire of the British Lion, much less a poor barber. Ah ! when I think of it; I exclaim, with Beauseant, ill the ' Lady of Lyons;' 'My bile o'erbiles ; my circulation stop's j, my very blood's acidulated drops.' " Here the injured wife ejaculated, but Wa"s immediately silenced by a severe frown from the Bench, who, after listening patiently to Charley's able address, Remarked that if the Government funds were not iinniediately increased to the extern; of 20s, Charley might retire to the secluded shelter of Mr Cassidy's suite of apartments, for the brief ; and fleeting space df 48 hours. " I'H'takeit out," echoed through the court in manly tones from the object of interest; and, with a majestic Wave of his hands, and a smile of supreme contempt illuminating the classic beauty of his features, " I'll take the whole of it." His amiable better half now mourns his absence.