THE YANKEE AND HIS WONDERFUL HEN.

Westport Times, Volume VII, Issue 1055, 18 March 1873, Page 4

THE YANKEE AND HIS WONDERFUL HEN.

(" Tourists on the Rigi," in Blackwood.) In the smoking-room of the Rigi Kulm Hotel I found an American and an Oxford Don (spectacled), who were conversing together on the Franco-Prussian war, which had just been declared. The Yankee was demonstrating how the army of the states, if '• put down on the same carpet" with the united forces of France and Prussia, would whip theui into rags—all along of our reeuper. ative powers ; yes, sir." " But don't you think," objected the Don, " that Prussia has great recuperative powers in a military sense ? Look at her ' Landwher,' look at her 'Landsturm,' look at " " No, sir, no country in the Old World can recuperate like us. What's more, they don't know how to make the most of whe fe they've got in baud no, nor the half of it." " Whv," said the Oxonian, "in Eng-land--1" " England !" flaered the Yankee ; " don't talk of that, old In.ss; a country where the hens only lay one egg at a time—don't mention the old cuss to me." " I don't quite underhand your allusion to the eggs," said the Don. " Wall, it ain't much, but it shows the difference in the smartness of countries' even in small things. Now, sir, I've got a black fowl which (if called upon) will drop me a matter of fifty eggs at a sitting. Fact." " You must really excuse me if, appealing to the laws of nature I venture to say that that sounds somewhat incredible. May I ask for some statistics." " You may, sirree. As for the laws of nature, they ain't of no count down our way—it's all done by the patent nest." " I never heard of it." " I daresay not ; wall, it's quite s'uiple. It's an artificial nest made as like as poscible to the nest of the hen in its wild state ; do you follow ?" " Perfectly." " Wall, there is a valve in the bottom of this nest which opens with the pressure of the fowl's holy, and i* big enough to let an e<jg drop through jnto a basket prepared for its reception below. Good. I see the hen looking as if she wanted to lay an egg, and 1 at once introduce her to the nest, down she sits and lays her egg, and (with a curiosity natural to hens) gets up to see what kind of an egg it is The egg has dropped through the valve, and of course she sees nothing •Darned if I ain't made a mistake tin's journey,' says the fowl, and at it she goes again ; and in this way I've drawn her on to lay fifty-five at a sitting. She's a trifle above the average though, being of a determined disposition Thar, that's a wrinkle the Old World could't hit off. Try to whip a nation up to dodges liko that, and you'll be snnjrsred you will sirree, if you broubjjt all etarnal Europe with you against her. Good-night," and he went away to bed.

Heaven help the man who imagines he cau dodge enemies by trying to please everybody. If such an individual ever succeeded, we should be glad of it—not that one should be going through the world trying to find beams to knock and thump his head against, disputing every man's opinion, fighting and elbowing, and crowding all who differ from nim. That, again; is another extreme. Other people have thtir opinions; don't fall into the e'Tor of supposing that they will respect you more for turning your coat every day to match the color of theirs. Wear your own colors in spite of winds and weather, storms and sunshine. Jt costs the vacillating and irresolute ten times the trouble to wind and shuffle and twist than it does honest, manly independence to slaud its giound.