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Westport Times, Volume VI, Issue 999, 27 August 1872, Page 3

When is a silver cup most likely to " run ?" When it is chased. A pious but uneducated judge closed a sentence with the following touching reproach : —" Prisoner at the bar, nature has endowed you with good education and family connections, instead of which you go prowling around the country etealing ducks." A wag tells of a boarding housekeeper whose tea was so weak that it couldn't get up the spout of the teapot. A wag who has been troubled with rats informs a friend, seriously, that he greased a thirty feet board, filled it full of fish hooks, set it up at an angle of forty-five degrees and put an old cheese at the top. The rats went up, slid back, and he caught thirty of 'em the first night. The " oppressed ones" have it their own way in several places in Ohio. The men cannot get whisky from the dealers unless they show a written permit from their wives, and in all these places an unmarried bibulous female cannot be found.