MEETING OF THE MEMBERS BEFORE THE SESSION.

Westport Times, Volume VI, Issue 990, 26 July 1872, Page 3

MEETING OF THE MEMBERS BEFORE THE SESSION.

(Gbey Stab.) Scene. — An Independent sanctum in Wellington. {Enter Harr and Vog.] Harr: Now, don't yon see it P ■Vog: Yes, the Tararua is telegraphed from the Coast. Harr: {aside) J)— n your acoustic subterfuges ; you can hear if you like. {Aloud) What are you going to do for me? The nominal editorship of this rag suits me to a dot as far as status goes ; but you keep me here grinding away without any one to look after me when lam not to be found. I must have some one to fag for me sometimes. You know a man of talent like myself can't be ever flowing, and babbling like a brook. Hang it all, you've sunk me to the condition of a literary hack. Vog:, Oh, shut up. You went and made a cussed mess in a previous session, and trespassed on the value I net on your utility so far, as nearly to force me to read your letter about Hoos, over which you had to eat the leek.

Harr : "What do you mean by that ? Vog: Why, first you must have tseparation north of the Teremakau, which eventuates in & fiasco ; next you would throw yourself into the arms of the rustic beauty of Nelson; and, thirdly, you would mutilate her completely. Harr : Oh, draw it mild. Tou see at last my scheme has aroused the Vestkmders to the necessity of a change of government. Vog: Your scheme ? why you pirated it holus bolus. You made it yours by putting a nominee Superintendent into it, like Pecksniff made Martin's Grammar School his own design by putting a water pipe down the back, and blocking up a front window, Harr : Well, d'ye know, I reckoned they would'nt jib at that, and of course 1 should be nominated, or at any rate I should get the billet of the fellow who was. We've all got our little game to play. You've played your cards pretty well. Vog: Yes; but then I've held better trumps than you. Its plain to me that you've ordered up Westland and have got euchred. Harr: How so ? Vog: Bead the Grey meeting. Tour propositions rejected seriatim, and your friend Ken puts the coup de grace on the. whole affair, by his sarcastic resolution offering thanks for having been such a botch of a tailor, as to have made three Grey suits, but none of them a fit. Harr: That's through being away fmm the spot. Had I been at that meeting my influence— Vog : Pshaw ? Don't you believe it. I'll give you my opinion plain. You're played out now on the Coast. The tower of strength I took you for at a distance proves, when assailed, but canvass and distemper. Harr: Well, let's drop the topic. Isn't there anything sticking out I don't want to have to return to the electors with my finger in my mouth. Its better to be a doorkeeper in the House of Lords— Vog: Would you open the door to Lahman ?

Enter Fox. Fox: Here are the "Westland members outside, waiting an audience. Enter Tribe and O'Conor. Vog: Good morning gentlemen, where's White ? Tribe: He's outside with a truck loaded with a petition for the reduction ot the gold export duty, which he insisted upon dragging up here himself, and ho won't leave it for fear of the police. Vog: Hang it, we havn't taxed his hundred Kanieri birds. Surely he can't want to export any of them. {Looks through window.') Come in "White. That can't be carried so its safe. Enter White. Vog: How's Westland looking ? White: Splendid for dairy stock. I've got a milch cow that yields a hundred more than any other cow in the Colony, and I've only milked one teat, but I will milk the other three when I return. {Vog commences to smoke short pipe) Tribe: If I'm to button for the Ministry this session 1 shall expect a little wrinkle. Vog; Now that's ungrateful. Did'nt lmake it right for you with Brogden ? Fox: Is the Permissive Bill likely to bo popular at Ross or Westport ? Tribe: Considering the habits of the mining community, I should say so, but I'm afraid the female population will oppose it. Fox: I say, Vog, you're funking ua

all out with that confounded pipe of yours, besides, you'ro spitting all over the place. Tribe: Never mind ; I'll wipe it up. O'Conor: Have a look at my petition The sections— Vog : ( Whispering to O' Conor.) Bosign. I'll get you an introduction to Thakombau, at the Fijis. Stunnin' section jobs. You're no good to us now. Fox : Gentlemen, I have to examine report of Commission of Water Supply, and— Vog: Yes, and we'll adjourn to Bellamy's. Some of you give White a hand with his truck. [Exit Omnes.