THE TRAVELLER OF THE PERIOD.

Westport Times, Volume VI, Issue 980, 18 June 1872, Page 1 (Supplement)

THE TRAVELLER OF THE PERIOD.

(From the Buncle onrrjfiwicyl?""" -'■■ J '- **-" My Dkar Beotheb,, —[ read your lettei" introducing to me your friend Mr. Cackleby Twaddle with mingled feelings of alarm, aad disgust, and tha result has quite fulfilled my direst apprehensions. I have told yon over and over again, Ned, not to give people letters of introduction to me. I have quite enough to do in providing for my constituents, and I consider that your conduct in saddling me for a week with a man who, expecting to be shortly confined of a work upon the Colonies, prominently displayed thatmental queasiness incident to his condition, was simply barbarous. I aui aware that Mr. Twaddle i 8 an " eminent English author, well known to the trade," and that he manufactures an annual volume with ease, regularity, and despatch. I am aware that courtesy demanded that you should " show him some attention.'' I am aware that you expect a puff of your work on *' The Sugar Beet," in return for your civility. But why in Duffy's name, did you not do the needful talking yourself. The gentleman is, I have no doubt, most admirable in all his social and moral relations, but he tried my patieuce terribly. In vain, according to your request, I crammed him with facts. He gravely assured me that L was utteriy and completely wrong, that I knew nothing about the condition of the Colony, and that he would take the opportunity of putting me right in his next despatch to that nutrix leonum, the Gaily Bellowgraph. But to come to generalities, dear Edward, I am surprised that yon lend yourself to the debasing practice of" scampering." This is an age of " scamper." One does not read ; one "skips." One does not drink ; one " nips." One does not learn ; one " warns." In science, literature, and religion, 'tis all the

same. I knew a scarnperer o'tbis kind, who became a Unitarian simply because he could not take the necessary trouble to believe in the Trinity. In an age which cuts the Suez Isthmus to save going round it, and bores a hole in Mont Cenis to avoid going over it, we must expect such laziuess. But it is in literature that this vice is most promiueut. Your literary man, who settles the I'ate of Europe for you in your morning paper, is either some impudent boy who cares nothing about politics, or some whiskey-drinking word-spinner who knows nothing about them. When you perused that article on " Sewage" with such intense respect, did you think the writer had taken the advice of Monsieur Taine and " practically studied his subject." Pooh! he had read Krepp. I knew a Frenchman who considered himself qualified to write upon Irish emancipation, because Lady Morgan had ouce bowed to him from a side-box at the opera. Look at the titles of the books one sees in Mullen's list— A Month in the Mediterranean ; A Week in Wisconsin; Tip Niagara in a Rob Hoi/ Canoe ; Camels and Coffee ; A If amble in Roumania ; Ten MinutesinXimbuctoo; Lunchingat Luxor; Popping Round the Pyramids, with a Peep at the Palaces of Palm ,ra, by " A Schoolboy ;" and so on. Werel an inhabitant of Timbuctoo' or a pastoral tenant of Palmyra, I should object to be interviewed in this hasty manner. It appears that London publishers think the

space of six weeks time quite long enough to understand the politics, wishes, hopes, prospects, manners, customs, aud social economy ot'a people. That rising young demagogue Bir Charles Weutworfch I)ilke disposed of the universe in six mouths: I think the account of the drive across the prairie (which swarmed of course, with hostile Indians), during which Sic Charles gorged facts at oue window and Mr. Hepworfcb, Dixon swilled fictiou at the other, is oue of the most delicious of compositions, and I have no doubt but that your friend Twaddle imagines himself capable of the same teat. He has already swallowed Western Australia, with the whole question of penal discipline, and rumor says that he only stopped a fortnight at Perth, during which Lime hepassed 10 days with his feefc if hot water in consequence of an attack of influenza. But it is by such casual observers that wa are judged. The Wontworth Dilkes, Hep. worth Dixons, and tribe of Twaddledom ia general, are accepted by European readers a3 retailers of truths, and the hasty generalisations of these self-sufficient travellers are taken as carefully-considered expositions of our Bocial life. I wonder when folk will understand that people who come out to live in this particular part of the globe do not necessarily change their modes of thought or their habits of life. The oxigencies°of climate or the peculiarities of a fierce democracy may induce a man here and there to change his coat or bis creed, but the exception must not be put for the rule. Our statistics show that we die aud are born with most commonplace regularity, and that our " average" of startling offences is a most ordinary one. Perhaps our politicians lie more, and change sides ot'tener, and retire into obscurity more frequently and more deeply, than in England, but that is a fault that can he remedied, We really are an ordinary people. We don't as a rule carry revolvers, though every uew comer bring"* one in a bran new case from Eeilly's in Oxford-street. We don't—T speak for myself and some hundred friends—drive bullocks habitually. Many of us have never been to the diggings, and I know of two or three men who never have had a " free fight" in a lonely drive on Bendigo. The man who turns ou the Tan Yean doesn[c quote Horace often, and lie is not —according to his own statement —a son of a poor clergyman of (.he Church of England and a graduate of two universities. As for our loyalty, the less said about that the better. If the English folks are loyal, we are not; for lam sure, that we should not have howled at the heir apparent on Monday because we thought his habits were not BuScieatly domestic, aud cheered him like lunatics on Tuesday because we thought ha had had typhoid fever successfully. 0 We should not be so absurdly unjust. Ido not [.now that we would dismember the Church, because we have a large body of influential Irish, chiefly publicans, among us. Our public gardens are large and well frequented. Our oOVu,\.m9UC ; J).Q > fcmL«a„ ;=„^noa^iii,i fluency, and is a corresponding member of all the scientific societies in Europe. He ha 3 lately turned his attention to gardening, ia which pursuit he bids fair to become an adept. Our gaols are crowded with numerous aud long-seuteuced prisoners. We suffer money to be lent at usurious rates, and have made almost as great a fiasco in drainage as did London. We have a noble institution in the shape of a Public Library and Museum, and we shut it on Sundays as a matter of course. We Irive our popular preacher, who imitates geese and pigs in the pulpit with some success. For tue rest we wear belltopper hats, support a betting-ring, rest contented under protective duties, and do not break the Seventh Commandment less frequently than more fashionable people. From a Freethought and Progressive point of view we may be considered forward, for out of a population of 730,000, we can number 17,0:10 pagans. It may be added that Mr. Thomas Castro, nc Orton, alias Tichborne, is not a favourable specimen of our native, aristocracy. \

This, dear Ned, is not altogether an unfair estimate of our vices, virtues, and resources. The days of Diggerdomareover, Theromantic gentleman in a, red shirt, big beard, and bigger boots, who has been popularly supposed to spend his time in alternately discovering gigantic nuggets and telling tremendous taradiddles, round the Cacap .Fire, has been succeeded by the practical mining speculator, who has an office li Under the Verandah," twenty " wires'" a any from Sandhurst, smokes big cigars, drives a fast-trotting horse and owns a putative father in the Benevolent Asylum. The gold broker has been superseded by the share buyer, the " lucky digger" by the man who li dabhle3 itt miues." That there ia a natioiml life, I believe, and when Mr. Bret Hart e comes out here he will perhaps describe it : i certainly do not think, Ned — with all deference to your frioud Cackleby — that a gentleman who has spent his life in studying the foibles of old ladies and comparing tje peculiarities of bishops, is the most lilted to comprehend us. Adieu, dear Edward ; don't send me any more travellers. If you mu .t have an accouut of Victoria, get Mr. Levy to despatch George Augustus Sala to America, with instructions' to write a spicy description of New Brunswick. That h the most likely way to achieve your object which at present occurrs to me. Yours, &c., Jo X BujfCLE.