MISCELLANEOUS.

Westport Times, Volume VI, Issue 978, 11 June 1872, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

The elder Disraeli, in his "Curiosities of Literature," mentions an Ethiopian potentate who rejoiced in manv high-sounding titles, among them being that of " Great Thief." While however we may smile at the designation, there can be little doubt that it was well earned. The same cannot be said of many persons in more civilised communities, who are equally fond of having a handle to their names. Take for instance, the title of " Professor."

Id connection with a teacher in a University the term is an appropriate and honorable one ; but for one case in which it is thus applied there are several in which its use is simply ridiculous. Thus, barbers, journeymen musiciaus (to coin a phrase), jugglers, and dancing masters, are very fond of styling themselves " Professor." The barber, for example —how he hates the appellation ! —describes himself as " Professor of the Tonsorial Art," whereas a sheep-shearer or horseclipper, if we look to the derivation of the word " tonsorial," is equally entitled to the designation. Of course, however, such vanity is harmless, however absurd it may be. By the adoption of such a title as " Doctor " harm might be, aud is clone, in some cases ; but the adoption of the title " Professor," in such cases as these, does no one any harm except the persou who adopts it. Its solo result is to point him out as a jackdaw that would fain don peacocks' fetthers —an ass that longs to put on the lion's skin, and the title thus becomes an indication of folly, or a kind of modem-, substitute for the cap and bells. According to the Ballarat ' Courier'

the Rev. J Dare propounded the following happy conundrum to a tea meeting audience. Our contemporary says : —" The ladies attending the anniversary sermon of the Wesleyan Church, Bunninyong, received something like a rebuke in the manner of dress. The Rev. J Dare, after speakof the sublime and the beautiful in the physical world, as the most proper accompaniments of religion, startled his audience by putting a question to them in the form of a conundrum—- " Why are ladies like the lilies of the field?" A pause followed. "Because" the gentleman continued, " they toil not neither do they spin ;" and extending forth his arms over the audience, the preacher exclaimed, " yet Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of them." An Ohio paper has the following obituary notice :—" William Jones, of Malta township, aged 83, passed j eacefully away on Tuesday last, from single blessedness to matrimonial bliss, after a sudden attack by Alice Blossom, a blooming young widow of 24. EanDy Eern gives her views about woman barbers thus :— '* There is no man who would not rather be shaved by a woman thau to have a great lumbering hand pawiug about his jugular vein, and poking in the ribs to get up when another man's turn comes. I don't say how his wife might like it but I am very sure he would ; and as to his wife, why—shd could shave another man couldn't she ? We '(Melbourne Argus)' are informed that on the arrival of the last two mails from England, a large quantity of jewellery was seized at the Post Office by the Customs authorities. The importers of the jewellery, instead of passing entries for it at the Customs and paying the usual duty, have, by an arrangement with the English exporter, been in the habit of getting it sent out enclosed in registered packets. One firm received in this manner no less than 87 valuable rings, and the difference between tho amount expended for postage and that payable as duty was something enormous. A minister not long ago preached from the text, " Be ye therefore steadfast," but the printer made him expound, " Be ye there for breakfast."