COME UP AND TEETOTLE.

Westport Times, Volume VI, Issue 974, 28 May 1872, Page 4

COME UP AND TEETOTLE.

The San Francisco ' News Letter ' says ■:■ —We are in receipt of a neatly printed pamphlet, entitled the " Teetotaller," which starts out on its career of usefulness " under the atispices " of one John Blob. John begins refreshingly thus: —"Oh, brother! why will yo? and why will ye not ? Lo ! the crystalline liquid drippeth from the rock, and wasteth on the plain—and will yo not. The fiery poison moveth itself on the grass —and ye will. O miserable blind ; there is no safety for thee but in our band of teetotallers! Come up and teetotle! Cone and join thy thirsty spirit unto ours, even as a drop is joined unto its ocean !" If John means this last as an invitation -to drop in and iake a 'drink, he ought to tell us where his bar is. Mr Blob, as a philologer, you are without a parallel; the verb to teetotle is the grandest conception of the age. 4lere•after it shall be the dearest pleasure of our existence to visit the public schools and hear that delicious part of speech '

conjugated. Fancy tho rnpturo of hearing from the lips of some young thing such verbal music as tin's : " I teototle, you teototlo, ho tectotles," etc., though all the moods and tenses ! We have never teetotlcd any, Mr Blob, but your touching picture of the water going to waste on that unappreciativo prairie affects to tears. Wo know at last why tho ocean is called a " waste of waters;" it was christened so by a a teetotaller, who grieves because he could not drink it all. John Blob, it' we had your mouth drawn over a pumpspout and soldered water-tight above the edges, wo should exalt and depress the handle of that useful machine with unwavering constancy, until your skin should be equal in tension to the head of a drum. Then wo should beat upon tho same an exceedingly lively atr.