MISCELLANEOUS.

Westport Times, Volume VI, Issue 962, 16 April 1872, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

A matrimonial lottery has been projected and advertised at Racine, Wisconsin. Fire young men are to be chosen for their extreme physical beauty, moral habits, and superior intellect, as the prizes. The price of the tickets is to be two dollars each, and not less than 50,000 are to be issued. The proceeds will be divided equally amongst the five prizes, about £4OOO being allotted to each. The machinery for drawing the prizes consists simply of two drums—one containing the 50,000 tickets,and the other the cartes-de-visite of the young gentlemen. A number and a photograph will be simultaneously drawn out of the drums, and the original of the portrait adjudged to the owner of the number. The young men are protected from being won by an undesirable partner by the following regulations :—No tickets will be sold to women who have had two husbands, to girls under sixteen or over thirty, to too dusky brunettes, andlastlyand most imperatively, to holders of opinions favorable to "women's rights." The propietor of a looking-glass establishment on Broadway says that i daily observation has shown him that on an average more men than women look at themselves in the mirrors outside as they pass up and down the street. A London paper says that half the children in England are now reared , without milk. A recent English work says the royal plate at Windsor is kept in a tolerably sized room and an adjoining closet, and is valued at £1,750,000 sterling. There is one gold service, formed by George IV., to dine one hundred and thirty guests. Some pieces were taken from the Spanish Armada, some brought from India, Burmah, and China. There are thirty dozen of plates, which cost twenty-six guineas each plate. At a social party where humorous definitions was one of the games of the evening, the question was put:— " What is religion ?" " Religion," replied one of the party more famous as a man of business than of wit, " is an insurance against fire in the next world, for which honesty is the best policy." The King of Bavaria has forbidden persons in the civil and military services of that kingdom to he Freemasons, members of the International, or other secret society. How many apples did our first parents eat in the Garden of Eden ? Eve 8 and Adam 2. Dyeing for Love: Colouring your moustache to please a woman. A milkman accounted for the weakness of milk by saying that the cows got caught in the rain. A saloon keeper having started in a building where trunks had been made, asked a friend what he had better do with the old sign, "Trunk Factory." " Oh," said the friend, "just change the T to D, and it will suit you exactly." A letter-writer, describing a recent ball, says the feature which made the deepest impression on him was the " unusual number of very plump women foaming over the tops of their dresses." ' An Irishman,hearing of a friend who had a stone coffin made for himself, exclaimed—" Faith, that's good. Sure, an' a stone cofin ud last a man a life time." " How is coal this morning ?" said a purchaser to an Irishman in a coalyard. " Black as iver," replied Pat, respectfully taking off the remains of his hat. In an American paper we read:— " Some years ago, when one of our staff was a reporter upon an opposition paper, it devolved upon him to write for the same edition an account of the presentation of a gold-headed cane to the Rev. Dr Mudge, the clergyman of the place ; and the description of a patent hog-killing and sausage machine which had just been put in operation at the factory. Now, what made the Rev. Dr Mudge mad was this. The inconsiderate buccaneer who made up the forms of the paper got the two locals mixed up in a frightful manner, and when they went to press somethinglike this was the appalling result: —"Several of the Rev. Dr Mudge's friends called upon him yesterday, and after a brief conversation the unsuspicious hog was seized by the hind legs, and slid down along a beam until he reached the hot-tank. His friend explained the object of their visit; and presented him with a very handsome

gold-headed butcher, who grabbed him by the tail, swung him round, split his throat from ear to ear, and in less thnn a minute the carcass was in the water. Thereupon he came forward and said there were times when the feelings overpowered one, and for that reason he would not attempt to do more than thank those around him for the manner in which such a huge animal was cut into fragments was simply astonishing. The doctor concluded his remarks when the machine seized him, and in no less time than it takes to write it, the hog was cut into fragments and worked up into delicious sausage. The occasion will be remembered by the doctor's friends as oue of the most delightful of their lives, the best pieces can be procured for 15 cents a pound, we are sure that those who have sat so long under his ministry will rejoice that he has been treated so handsomely." At Aberdeen, a Mr Sutherland, locally known as " The Rescue," has saved 18 persons from drowning during the present bathing season. A lover thus records his experience in the visitors' book at NiagaraOn Table Rock we did embrace, And then we stood both face to face ; The moon wag up, the wind was high, I look'd at she, and she at I" Language failed him after this effort, and he could say no more. The next gentleman must have had a difference with his lady-love ; at all events, he eases his mind by a profound reflection : Great is the mystery of Niagara's waters, But more mysterious still are some men's daughters. Another swain, deeply enamoured, but more of a wag than a poet, writes from his heart, and with a daring rhyme : Next to the bliss of seeing Sarah, Is that of seeing Ni-a-ga-ra." The following clever lines are written in pencil on the sash of a window at Lodore:— When I see a man's name Scratch'd upon the glass I know he owns a diamond, And his father owns an ass.