MISCELLANEOUS.

Westport Times, Volume V, Issue 884, 7 November 1871, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

Keep out of debt, out of quarrels, out of damp clothes, out of reach of liquors, and out of doors all you can iu good weather. An Irishman, quarrelling with an Englishman told him that if he didn't hold his tongue ho would break his impenetrable head and let the brains out of his empty skull. A young lady upon one occasion requested her lover to define love: "Well, Sal," said he, "it is to me an inward impressibilty and an outward alloverishness. A learned German theologianr has fouud out that there are a few more than forty-four million devils. He is in favour of passing an ordinance to make other people believe it. The gentlemen in the country have made private jokes among themselves, in observing that many ladies who had golden hair last season, have either dark brown or gray hair this year. The inhabitants of northern Queensland are calling out for separation from the southern part of the colony. ' A minister asked a tipsy fellow leaning up against a fence where he ex pected to go when he died: 'lf I can't get along any better than I do now,' he said,' I shan't go anywhere.' Mark Taploy in Pennsylvania.—A Pennsylvania!] recently asked one of the striking miners how they managed to live so long without working, and the "Miners Journal," says the reply was—' Te see, when wo don't work, wo live as we used to live in Ireland; and when we do work, we live like Americans ; and that's just the explanation of how we get along at all.' Boarders.—Tln3 tea seems very weak, Mrs Skimp.' Landlady—'Well, I guess it must bo the warm weather. I feel weak myself ; in fact every body complains.'