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Westport Times, Volume V, Issue 866, 26 September 1871, Page 3

Melbourne, it would appear, is not alone in the possession of a Messiah at the present day. The " .New York Tribune " says : " Philadelphia is honoured by the presence of a prophet. His secular name is Konigmacher, but he calls himself, for some recondite reason, ' The Jesus of Isolation.' He parades the streets upon an old horse, his red-hair streaming : and he carries ' a banner with a strange device' He is not alone in his mystical mission ; for there is also in this favoured city a brace of prophets with uncommonly long beards, who walk up and down the thoroughfares, exclaiming, ' How are you, men and brethren?' It might not be exactly the thing to stone these seers, according to the ancient practice ; but it would clearly do no horni to lock them up. Many persons who had their complaint badly have thus been cured." The worst joke, says an exchange, that was ever perpetrated on scientific men took place recently at Louisiana. A. man was sick with rheumatism or something, and a fellow went around to the doctors, and professors, and things and told them it was the queerest case on record. He said the man had ho feeling. Tou could stick pins in his body all over and he paid no attention to them at all. He was perfectly numb. So the doctors got together

and called on the sick man to experiment. All arrived with, pins needles; and bodkins. The man was asleep and thay got around him, and each one stuck his pin in the patient. The sick mau rolled over and looked at the crowd, and thought they had come to dissect him ; so he took a chair in one hand and a bedpost in the other and drove the crowd thence. They were around several days after with their heads tied up, looking for the man who said the sick man had no feeling. " I say Pat, 1 ' said a Yankee to an Irishman, who was digging in his garden, " are you digging out a hole in that onion bed ?" " No," says Pat, " I am digging out the earth and leaving the hole. f A gentleman travelling in Ireland said to an importunate beggar: * Vou have lost all your teeth.' The beggar quickly answered. ' An' it's time I parted with um when i'd nothing for um to do.'

A friend of ours-says he is growing weaker and weaker every day. He has got so weak now that he can't raise five shillings. An Irish painter declares in an advertisement that, among otherportraits he has a representation of " Death as large as life."

In Alabama, a judge was too drunk to sit on the bench, so the sheriff put him in gaol for contempt.