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Westport Times, Volume V, Issue 826, 17 June 1871, Page 3

I firmly believe that almost every malady of the human frame, either in its highways or byeways, is connected with the stomach. The woes of every other member are founded on your bellytimber ; and I must own I never see a fashionable physician mysteriously consulting the pulse of his patient but 1 feel a desire to exclaim, " Why not tell the poor gentleman at once, ' Sir, you have eaten too much ; you've drunk too much ; and you have not' taken exercise enough !' " The human frame was not created imperfect. It is ourselves who have it so. There exists no donkey in creation so overloaded as our stomach. —" Granville." Of pumpkins I never could make the use out. They say they're filling at the price—the price being anything you like, or nothing if you don't like ; but still the pumpkin being, as you might say, nothing less than garden stuff run mad, is a kitchen puzzle. The cucumber is to be understood. Tou know the worst of it. "When it's done growing it leaves off, as a decent vegetable ought to do; but a pumpkin keeps on swelling and making rind, and going into pips till its own mother wouldn't know it. I believe if you was to plant a pumpkin-pip in that little back garden of yours, and lock up your cottage, and leave your creditors to weep for you for six months, and didn't let anybody in to watch it— I believe that if you then came back, you'd find that your pumpkin had spread itself all over the whole blessed place till the waterbutt looked like a pimple by tl e side of it and the coalhole could be stowed away in one of its wrinkles. Such is the artfulness of pumpkins. Once give 'em a chance to grow, and they'll " swell wisibly," and go on wisibly swelling in spite of you. Human pumpkins swell in the same way with pride, and malice, and sometimes only with wind.—"John Perrybingle." Meet for Repentance.—Tough beef.