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Westport Times, Volume V, Issue 819, 1 June 1871, Page 3

French Marshals. A gentleman looking over the pages of the Glasgoiv Chronicle for 1811, during the time of the war raging on the Continent of Europe, came upon the following curious estimate of Bonapartist Marshals: — " The want of truly great captains is universal. Even Bonaparte, at Tilsitz, when giving a character to his present marshals, described one as a washerwoman, another as a mere iavard, &c, and observed—" If I should die before them you will find my account verified ; and Europe will be astonished at the miserable efficiency of my aids." A farmer who wished to invest the accumulation of his industry in United States securities, went to a broker's office to obtain treasury notes. The clerk enquired, " What denomination will you have them, sir ? " Having never heard that word used excepting to distinguish religious sects, the farmer, after a little deliberation, replied. " Well, you may give me a part in Old School Prebsyterian, to please the old lady, but give me the heft on't in Free Will Baptist." A raw Jonathan, who had been gazing at a garden in the vicinity of a city, in which were several marble statues, exclaimed ; —" Just see what a waste ! Here's no less than six scarecrows in this ten foot patch, and any one on 'em would keep the crows from a five acre lot!" A recent visitor to a Texas gaol, who asked a negro what brought him there, was told, "Two of de Staite perlice." And when he asked further if drunkenness had not something to do with it, the negro replied promptly, •' Yes, eah ; dey was. bof drunk." " Come here, you mischievous little rascal, you." " Wont you lick me father 1 ?" " No." " Will you swear you won't ?" "Yes." " Then I won't come, for parson Attwood says that he who swears will lie."