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Westport Times, Volume V, Issue 811, 11 May 1871, Page 3

Serious Mistake - A burglar made a serious mistake a few nights ago. He carefully secreted himself under a bed, and would have been entirely successful had he not fallen asleep and awakened the people by his snoring. Capital Punishment (for them). — Flogging garrotters. Bismarck's Opinion of Paris.—The Chancellor has been graciously pleased to observe that the only thing sane about that city is the river that flows through it. Furious Driving in the City.—The other day a gentleman was observed driving a quill at a furious rate in the neighbourhood of Printing-house Square. We are happy to be able to add that, although the traffic was immense at the time, no accidents resulted. The Recent German '"Diamond "Wedding." The sixtieth anniversary of the marriage of Count "Wrangle was lately celebrated. It is said that during that long period there has be n no matrimonial quarrelling, although there have been several little wrangles. The Best Magazines. Cereals for France. A Night Of It.—Young Wife (2 a.m) Dinner at the Albion ! the theatre ! and supper andai-übbei at the club! Well Henry, I wonder you did not go to all the places of amusement in London, and (sobbing) not come home all night!— Henry : My dear, all th' other plashes shu'rup. A. man warned his wife in New Orleans not to light the fire with kerosene. She didn't heed the warning.— Her clothes fit his second wife remarkably well.