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Westport Times, Volume III, Issue 599, 28 December 1869, Page 2

How to Quiet Him.—At «a Late meeting of Presbytery in America, when the subject of Scripture was under discussion, Brother "Watson said, early in his ministry he and another brother were conducting a meeting in which there was much religious interest. An old man gave expression to his joy by shouting, and continued until it began to interrupt the service. Brother Hall said to Brother "Watson, " Go stop that old man's noise." He went to him and spoke a few words, and the shouting man at once became quiet. " What did you say to the old man that quieted him so promptly ?" Brother Watson replied, " I asked him for a dollar for foreiga missions." Scripture History.—The Eev. F. C. Eoutledge, inspector of schools, in a report to the Committee of Council on Education, gives the following "exact copy" of a Life of David, written, he slates, by "an otherwise shrewd and clever boy :"—" David was the son of Saul, and when he was yet quite young he could play upon the harp ; when his father was in trouble he used to send for his son. But above when Beltshazzer were having a large feast they were an hand upon the wall,

and Beltzshazzer were afraid, but he called for his physicians together, bo as he would get to know what the handwriting was ? But they could not tell him, so then he said he would give any man a new suit of clothes that could tell him. So then he sent for David and David told him." A Boland fob His Olives.—Although the '' flash " times have passed away on the Mississippi, they still have some queer customers on the river boats. On a recent trip of the Highflyer, crowded with passengers, the clerk had allotted the last stateroom, and was about to close his office, when he was astonished by the apparition of a tall Missourian, who exclaimed, " I say, stranger, I want one of them chambers."—" Sorry, sir," said the official, blandly, "but our state-rooms are all taken."—" The dooae they are," responded Missouri: " I've paid my fare, 'n I want one of them chambers."—" Allow me to see your ticket." said the still polite clerk. Putting his hand behind his neck, the passenger pulled out a ten-inch bowieknife, and driving it quivering into the counter, said, " I'm from Pike county, young feller, and thar's my ticket. I want one of them chambers." Before the steel had ceased to vibrate, the prompt clerk quietly thrustaloaded and capped six-shooter under Pike's nose, and coolly answered, " I've got only six ' chambers,' and you see they are all full." The Missourian edged out of range, and putting up his " toothpick," muttered something between his teeth, and strode off to take such quarters as he could find.