THE MELBOURNE PERIPATETIC PHILOSOPHER.

Westport Times, Volume III, Issue 496, 27 April 1869, Page 3

THE MELBOURNE PERIPATETIC PHILOSOPHER.

An extract from a letter to The Times (written by the chief constable of Chester) has set Melbourne people talking about thieves and their ways. I can assure them that the thieves here are very much like those ab home. The slang is pretty much the same, and the process of appropriation is conducted much on the same principle. I for some years drove a very capital trade as a thieves ' tailor, and always found them strictly honest. I had but a gen when I began the trade, but I soon picked up money, and was able to keep myself in tolerable comfort, with a spare owt-yennep now and then for a top o'reeb. I called myself a slap-up tog and kicksies, builder. I give a copy of my advertisement for the amusement of the curious readers. " Keady Gilt. " Upper Benjamins, built on a downy plan, a monarch to half a finnuff. Pair of good broad Kerseymere Kicksies, made very saucy, nine bob and a kick. Pair long sleeve moleskin, all colours, built hankey-pankey with a double fakement down the side, and artful buttons at bottom, half a monarch. Pair stout ditto, very serious, nine times. Pair out and out fancy sleeve Kicksies, cut to drop on the trotters, 2 bulls. Blue cloth waisttogs cut slap, with pearl buttons, 14 peg. Mud Pipes, Knee-caps, and Trotter-cases built very low. " A decent allowance made to Seedy Swells, Tea Kettle Purgers; Head robbers, and Flunkies out of Collar. N.B.—Gentlemen finding their own Broady can be accommodated." This looks a little unintelligible to those who have not had the good fortune to live in Bohemia, but it was read with complete ease by my customers. Melbourne is a very poor imitation of London as far as thieving goes. The London streets is a strange shore to be cast upon, I can tell you; barren ; inhospitable. De Quincy calls the city " stony-hearted mother." Tet a man can live there—honestly, I mean—wnen he would starve elsewhere. What do you think of the fact that 180,000 bushels of apples and 319,500 bottles of strawberries are sold in the London streets every year; that 124,000,000 oysters a id. a piece are disposed of, the total value of the shell-fish eaten being £156,650. Tet it is the case. We need not be afraid in Melbourne ' for some time. '