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Westport Times, Volume III, Issue 486, 3 April 1869, Page 3

' Josh; Billings ,os Milk.—l want to say something. I want to say something in reference to milk az a fertilizer. There are various kinds ov milk. There is sweet milk, sour milk, skim milk, butter milk, and milk of human kindness ; but the mostest best milk iz the milk that hazzent the most water in it. Butter milk izzent the best for butter. .Milk is spontaneous, and has done more to encourage the growth of human folks than any other likwid. Milk iz lacteal; it is also aquatic, while under the patronage of milk venders. Milk iz mysterious. Cockernut has never been solved yet. Milk iz also another name for human kindness. Milk and bread is a pleasant mixtur. Sometimes, if milk is allowed to stand too long, a scum rises to the surface, which iz apt to scare fokes that live in cities, but it dozzent foller that the milk iz nasty. This scum is called. kreme by fokes who inhabit the kuntry. Kreme is the parent of. butter, and butter iz 70 cents a pound. The most common milk in use, without a doubt, iz skim milk. Skim milk is made by skimming the milk, which is considered sharp practiss. Milk is obtained from cows, hogs, woodchuxj rats, squirrels, and other animals that have hair, Snaix and geese don't give milk. I forgot to state, in conclusion, that cow milk, if well watered, brings ten cents per quart. The efficacy of kerosene as a curative agency in the treatment of burns was fully tested a few days ago at Drysdale, Victoria, when the youngest daughter of Mr Sidney Searl, not three years of age, fell into a basin of boiling water. "Having read in the Geelong Advertiser," says Mr Sear], fj that kerosene effects a cure, I immediately filled a bason; with that article and dipped the poor little sufferer. I can assure you it had a wonderful effect. The child was delighted at being so instantly relieved from pain. Had I not scalded myself and wife in making'jam a short time ago, and found kerosene a cure, I should not have dared to place a child so young in it, and perhaps before the services of a doctor could have been obtained, it would have died. In conclusion, I might mention that the skin was not even broken."

An amusing story, says the Ballarat Star, is told of a Gympie tradesman who, finding it impossible to pay his creditors 20s in the £l, called them together, apparently determined to make up for the deficiency in cash, by religious ceremony. Tradesman and creditors accordingly met at the appointed hour, and having seated themselves, the latter waited patiently for some porposition from the individual who had called them together. The person made none, however, until some of the creditors appeared to be getting impatient, when he calmly arose and in a grave manner said, " Gentlemen, I beg to move that this meeting be opened with prayer.' Several of the number jumped up indignantly at what they thought to be a piece of impudence ; but one man, evidently fond-of a joke, even at the expense of his pocket, proceeded to say the orthodox grace, "For what we are going to receive, the Lord make us truly thankful." The story does not state the result of the meeting or the amount of the dividend.

The ' Stirling Journal' records the death of Mr W. Drummond, seedsman, and widely known in connection with the printing and disseminating of religious tracts. Deceased was born in a small house at Bahnockburn in 1793, and spent his whole life in his native district, labouring incessantly for the good of those around him. In 1853, he planted about 700 trees in the line of walk along, the borders of the Forth eastward from Cambuskenneth Abbey. He .placed several pieces of fine statuary in Stirling Cemetery, and procured the statue of Sir Wm. Wallace for the town. He was a member of the Free Church, but his benevolence extended to those of all denominations. His retiring habits led him to refuse several marks of public respect proffered by the community among whom he lived.

An American hotel proprietor, hearing of the whereabouts of a guest who had • decamped without going through the usual formality of paying his bill, sent him a note—" Mr—, Dear Sir—Will yeu please send amount of your bill, and oblige," &c. To which the delinquent made answer : —" The amount is 80 dollars 62 £ cents. Tours respectfully."