CRIMINAL COURT SLANG.

Westport Times, Volume III, Issue 466, 16 February 1869, Page 3

CRIMINAL COURT SLANG.

The inferior courts of law in New York are conducted in a peculiar free and easy manner. At the Court of General Sessions, held before Judge Kelly, the judge is made to converse with the prisoner in a way which must be highly conducive to the growth of feelings of republican equality. We give the report furnished of one case as a specimen. It is introduced with the heading of " Pumbled a Dutchman," and runs thus : —" Master George M. Huntington, a wiry looking customer, sailed into a Jutchman who calls himself Heer Deiker, and gave him Jerusalem. ' Well, George, what is your opinion of the accusation ?" asked the Court. ' It's my opinion that I trimmed the Dutchman,' responded the accused. Did hj«» hurt you much ?' demanded the Court of the complainant a stoutish gentleman, as he entered the witness box.' Yah, Shudge' replied Deiker; ' I keebs a lager peer saloon, und dis man he valks indo me ven I doles bin do clear oud ov mine haus. Indead ov toing so he call me several big liddle names, und he gives meter tuyvil, und I shwear so much ash never vash, ven a policeman gomes in und dakes der man off do der vatchhaus.' ' George,' said Judge Kelly, 'the Court is of opinion that you should go into training for a month, so that your muscle may be sufficiently hardened for your next plug muss. One month in the geological department, George,' and the defendant retired to study." In this style the whole of the cases are recorded day after day. One prisoner is sent by the judge "to enlarge his knowledge of the mineral kingdom;" another to make himself acquainted with " the structure of the earth." A woman accused of assaulting an acquaintance is thus introduced : —" A. flashily-attired, tall and muscular young woman, big enough to knock spots out of any ordinarysized man, who runs under the name of Emma Goss, but who is reported to be the wife or mistress of st professor of pugilism, was brought up to the bull ring on the grave charge of striking out from the shoulder and sending Mary Cotch into the middle of next week." The conversation of the judge, as reported, with the complainant is highly edifying, and might furnish a lesson to Sir Redmond Barry on occasion:—" You cotched it, then ?" remarked the Judge, vainly endeavouring to get off a pun. " I did, your honor; I caught it right on the face." "In the mug?" "Here, under the eye, sir." " Closed your peeper, eh ?" " And made my nose bleed, your Honor." "Swelling your smeller?" " Yes sir." The reporter may he answerable for all this, and not the judge; but even in that case it is somewhat startling.