ADVICE TO CRITICS.

Westport Times, Volume III, Issue 448, 7 January 1869, Page 3

ADVICE TO CRITICS.

In order to abuse a man well it is necessary to begiu at the beginning;. Get hold of his pedigree. Ascertain if possible if he had any weak or delinquent ancestor —some one who was obliged to leave his country for his country's good, or who placed his neck in jeopardy because of a predilection for horse or sheep. Learn whether his father cobbled or his mother kept a mangle; or whether, like one of Goldsmith's acquaintances, his parents made a noise in the world, the one by beating a drum, the other by crying oysters. Failing this, you may pro bably discover that his uncle once published a bad poem, or that bis cousin was plucked at college, or that his maternal auut had the reputation of being a blue stocking. Visit all the sins of bis ancestry and affinities upon his head. If there is a weathered leaf or a rotten branch on his family tree, let all the world know it. Beginning at the root of the man, ascend to his topmost twig, and expose all the imperfections of his growth and being. Give his history from the time of his first bread-and-butter guile, down to his last trip moral, which you may charitably ascribe to wine, women, or heathenism —to either or to all, if if you would lay the lash on hard. Forget that there is any affection in his nature—any generosity. Forget that he shared his hist copper at a potato stall, with a houseless vagabond ready to perish ; but remember that his father indulged in beer, that his mother took snuff, or that he himself made matutinal visits to an uncle, who replenished hia exchequer on the condition that he left an upper or nether garment in his keeping. In exposing or abusing a man, believe all the time that you are doing the world some sesvice that you are laying bare hypocrisy, teariug the veil off vice, and doing proper homage to virtus. If you write, use indignant iuk ; if you speak, utter vitriolic words. Podgers: " Did you see the lovely creature I danced last gallop with?" Smith : "Oh yes —know her very well. Married to a confoundedly jealous fellow, who insists upon her dancing with the plainest men in the room !" Poor Podgers !