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Westport Times, Volume III, Issue 403, 14 November 1868, Page 3

A gentleman, when walking with a lady, stumbled, and fell. On his resuming his perpendicular, the lady remarked,' She was sorry for his unfortunate fauxpas.' —' I didn't hurt my fore paws,' said he ; 'I only barked my knee.'

In a trial at "Winchester before Baron Martin, a witness was called who interlarded his account of a conversation he had heard with so many ' says I' ' says he,' that he was hardly intelligible. The counsel failing to make the witness comprehend the form in which he was wanted to make his statement, the Court took him in hand, with the following result: —' My man, tell us exactly what passed. ' Tes, my lord, certainly. I said I should not have the pig.' ' Well, what was his answer ?' 'lie said that he had been keeping the pig for me, and that he ' ' No, no, he did not say that —he could not have said it. He spoke in the first person.' ' No, I was the first person that spoke my lord.' ' I mean this don't bring in the third person—repeat his exact words.' ' There was no third person, my lord, only him and me? ' Look here, my good fellow—he did not say he had been keeping the pig, he said, ' I have been keeping it.'' < I assure you my lord, there was no mention of your lordship at all. "Wo are, on two different stories, my lord. There was no third person ; arid if anything had been said about your lordship, I must have heard it.'