FROM NELSON TO THE WEST COAST.

Westport Times, Volume II, Issue 325, 15 August 1868, Page 2

FROM NELSON TO THE WEST COAST.

By W Temple. It was about 10 o'clock in the tnor- ' ning, when I arrived at the Nelson wharf, with my carpet bag, and a ticket which act forth in cabalistic characters that I had paid £ s. d. for a passage on board the steamer, ' Young Pretender " from Nelson to Ilokitika, The said"Young Pretender" was amusing himself by expending enormous quantities of steam in whisling for the passengers to accelerate their movements and groaning in great tribulation at the thought of being once more obliged to leave the wharf, and encounter the bars that close the entrance of our Westport River •for in strong weather, a Tcssel endeavouring to obtain admittance into these harbors, bears a close resemblance to a bottle of physic, or Worcester sauce, in the hands of the intending imbiber, after he has perused the label, "to be well shaken before taken. " After wasting its breath or steam in vain efforts to induce those (who I am afraid never Btudied that beautiful proverb, " Procrastination is the thief of time" to come on board, she commenced to move from the pier, and after nearly converting into matches a small boat that was hovering about under the stern, and running >the bow sprit into the cabin windows of a harmless collier, and thereby disturbing a dirty faced gentleman who was composedly eating bacon and biscuit inside, at length puffedoutof the harbour. It was a beautiful sunshiny day, the blue sky above and the calm sea beneath, the towering cliffs rising abruptly from the dark shadow of water, while, in the distance, the quiet little town nestling in the valley encircled by the hills that rose up on all sides, as if to shield their little •nursling from the fury of the winter blasts. The snow-dad mountains rearing their hoary summits in silent to Heaven, the bay dotted with large and small crafts, formed a beautiful picture, marred only by the long train of smoke that issued from the funnel of our steamer, obscuring some portions of the view, and imparting to others such a thing as is observed by amateur astronomers, when gazing at the sun through a prepared glass. I seated myself in rather an uu- ■ dignified position on the paddle bos and like my friend the funnel, was puffing from my chimney dense ' volumes of smoke. Prom my elevation, I took an extended survey of the ■ passengers. There was a commissioner who was returning from 'a holiday in Wellington, to resume his wearisome round of duties (principally consisting of billiards and brandy hot) in his own district, engaged in conversation with a long faced individual with a long nose, long hair, a white necktie with two long ends peeping out on each side of a long waistcoat, over which was buttoned a long ■black coat, cut in the style peculiar to those who play the benevolent philanthropist converting benighted sinners, and exercising charity .towards their poorer brethren. Seated on an enormous box was a gentleman of decidedly foreign appearance, who was apparently delivering a lecture on natural history, for the benefit of two nondescripts in dirty begrimed clothes and sooty faces, .which left the uninitiated bystander in considerable perplexity as to whether they were maritime sweeps or naturalized negroes. These personages I recognised as firemen, who had risen to the surface from some unknow r n region beneath the deck, to inhale the fresh air, and were waiting for the conclusion of the lecture, preparatory to diving below again. In addition to these there was a pair dirty riding unmentionables with dirty top boots engaged in an animated discussion with another pair of dirty unmentionables with dirty top boots, on subjects connected with the removal of certain quadrupeds of the bovine species from pastures in the Northern Island, to the butchers shops in the different townships of the West Coast. A tall hat of a pattern generally attributed by knowingdiggers to the inventive genius of some American citizens, was listening with apparent attention to the dialogue, and occasionally when required, showing his approval of certain portions of the argument by ejecting from between asinall gap, wherehis teeth should have been, a small stream of tubacco juice in the direction of the speaker. Besides these, there wag a doctor.whose luggage consisted of a medicine chest, which he guarded with great care; and a flask suggestive of unadulterated alcohol which he was continually drawing from its receptacle, and applying to his mouth, and a mixed as semblage of diggers, sheep, bullocks, pigs, lions, bears, and other animals, -a portion of which belonged to a travel-

ling menagerie on its way to Westport. A.s I finished my cigar and descended from the paddle box a small fire bell gave notice, to all concerned, that dinner was ready in the cabin ; and I accordingly descended, where on a horse-shoe shaped table a sumptuous repast awaited us. I was gratified to find that the sea air was so productive of a good appetite, and watched with undisguised admiration the heroic achievements of the dirty boots, who gallantly assaulted every dish, that happened to be within reach of their not over clean hands. It was also, with anxious solicitude I followed the dangerous performances of the tall hat, who, totally discarding the use of his fork, brandished his knife in such alarming proximity to his throat, as to suggest the idea that he contemplated the rash act of committing suicide in public. After the cloth was removed the whole of the company, with the exception of myself, went upon deck, I preferring to the dolce-fa-niente on the velvet cushions. I picked up an Auckland paper and commenced to read. I was engaged in striving to understand a most incomprehensible leading article, oi which, the greater portion appeared to be abuse of a certain gentleman who was unfortunate enough to be the editor of a rival newspaper, in the same town, and was always aluded to, as our contemporary, and I wondered whether the heroes of the pen had ever, proceeded or intended to proceed . as far as coffee and pistols, or a little i harmless fisticuffing in back ways • but, finding that I was graduallj : yielding somniferous influences, I wenl i upon deck. On emerging from the com • panion ladder, 1 was astonished to oh : serve the great change that had taker • place in the weather. The blue skj i was invisible, the wind was chasing i the clouds across, and lashing th( ■ waves into foam, in its boisterous play i I was greatly concerned at perceiving ; this, for visions of my prevailing malady, dawned upon my unhappy soul. A sweetness in the mouth, and a ten- ; dency to lie down and die, were sympi toms I could well understand, and ] i accordingly made my way out, endeavi ouriug, as is usual in such cases, tc ■ hide the fact from my fellow pas- , sengers. Having at the first stej driven my head against the . honorable portion of the benevolenl : J gentleman's body (which propelled , j him with great velocity into the arms ) ■ of a venerable female, who was holding , a basin for the convenience of an ! unhappy looking little boy) and being • brought up standing, into the arms i of the dirty-booted individual, (whc s! winked his left eye in derision at his .! dirty booted companion.) I reached the side of the vessel and eleand ovei . the bulwarks watching with peculiai - interest, each succeeding wave as it , rolled up in a confused mass of green and white, imagining the silent depths —which to human eyes are invisible—beneath the noise and confusion of the turbulent waves above. Thn I pictured to myself, the inhabitants of these unknown regions, from the enormous shark, to the insignificant sprat. The latter instantly brings to my recollection the remembrance of a certain box of sardines, the contents of which had been transferred from their coffin to that receptacle with which nature has invested all her sons, to receive such luxuries as their hearts may desire, or the length of their purse will allow. , This, together with a violent upheaving of the vessel, completed my discomfiture, and placing my arms on the rail and my chin in my hands, I restored the Sarflinisui sfirata tn fchmr nvionnal nlomonf

Let us —as the novelists have it—draw the curtain over this scene of wretchedness and woe—merely informing any kindred spirits that I had the supreme happiness, as I tacked towards the cabin, of observing both, the philanthropist and Commissioner, in precisely the same position as I had myself previously occuiped. We arrived at Westport the next morning. I had slept for fourteen hours at a stretch, but no longer feeling the motion of the vessel, I awoke, quite recovered from my temporary illness and went ashore, with the intention of recruiting, the inner man, by an application for breakfast at some hotel. I was astonished at observing the great number of houses where the proprietors were permitted to be "drunk on the premises," and I also noticed that the only occupants of the bar were gentlemen in their shirt sleeves leaning on the counter perusingthe morning paper. On reaching he end of the main thoroughfare I entered the best hotel I had yet mot; with, and inquired of the presiding divinity "If breakfast was a. possibility, Yes! Breakfast was possible—lf 1 walked into the passage. I would find the room at the end."— I-walked into the passage and found the room, at the end. It was furnished with three tables, a small regiment o£

chairs, and two gentlemen who were busily engaged in whisking imaginary dirt from the chairs, arid visionary crumbs from the tablecloths with their napkins. As I seated myself at the nearest available resting place, one of them, (who in my ignorance I mistook for a retired captain of the Gruards in disguise) handed me a carte with such an engaging smile that I inadvertently returned his bow. He condescended however, to suppy, me with refreshments, in which he was assisted by his fellow servant, who might have been a colonial bishop, such a benignant countenance did he display. A great many visitors now made their way in some with that peculiar look about that suggests ideas of champagne at two o'clock in the morning, and soda-waterand brandy later in tho day, although the clayey moleskins greatly preponderated. The captain and bishop discarded their late sedentary task, and were flying about aud conveying orders like unwinged mercuries. During this time the storm was raging with unabated fury, and the rain was beating against the frail tenement, threatening in its mad rage, to level it to the ground, As I contemplated the weather, I asked myself whether it would not be better to defer my intended visit to the surrounding places of note, until better weather should set in. I therefore re-entered the bar, professedly to indulge in P. B. but in reality, to pass away the time in a little harmless flirtation with the attendant Hebe of . the establishment. This young lady was deeply immersed in the history of ; Alphonzo, the Green OrossKnight who ■ was just on the point of releasing the ■ beauteous Seraphina Angelica from 1 the wicked designs of that old prof- ' ligate the Baron of Swiggrogsen. ; She descended from her airy emin- ' ence, to give me the required beverage and thrust Seraphina igniminiously on a ; heap of ginger-beer bottles beneath. I spent the day in excursions between the bar and sittingroom, and • when evening set in [[determined on ■ visiting opening ball that was to be held in the neighbourhood. I pure hased a bottle of Jockey and a white 1 handkerchief which I was assured was the only articles of toilette that be re- ' quired. On entering the room I found that orchestra was composed of a solii tary clarionet player, seated on a broken backed chair, with a well-thumbed i piece of music on a gin case before him. : This unfortunate musician informed me confidentially, that his wind was not what it used to be, for which I sincerely pitied the poor man, and invited him to join me in an application to the " flowing bowl." A master of ceremonies was present, who kept the company in a delightful state of mysti- ' fication by shouting out such words as ; "alonzo," "onions," "gents doubleround," and other incomprehensible sentences. I furthermore noticed that at the conclusion of each set it seemed to be an established custom, which was adhered to unanimously, that each gentleman should convoy his partner to the bar, and-spend two shillings thereat. Towards the close of the evening a great many of both sexes were engaged and the fun became fast and furious every body working themselves into a state of perspiration. I came out into the cool air, and walked towards my hotel, the only occupant of the pathway being a representative of the mining community, who had been enjoying himself in his own peculiar manner, and was informing nobody in particular that he was " all right," but immediately contradicted his; assertion by falling headlong into the gutter. Being myself of an extremely benevolent disposition, I walked up and set him on his legs again, which act of disinterestedness he repaid by (what is termed in colonial idioms) " walking into me." A humane policeman, however, interrupted his ill-timed amusement, aud kindly escorted him to an iron barred house close by, and provided him with a lodging for the night. My friend, the military gentleman, was awaiting me at the hotel, and preceded by him I mounted to my dormitory. I slept the sleep of the innocent that night, interrupted only by pleasant dreams, in which I successfully fought a duel with the Captain and obtained the hand of the beautiful Hebe, (who turned out to be an enchantress on a short visit to the West Coast) and that we had been joined together in matrimony by the ecclesiastic waiter, and were far away on our jonrney to fairy land on board the " Young Pretender." I awoke next morning and was startled to see the sun shining into my room, and to hear the whistle of the steamer announcing her speedy departure. I lost no time, but quickly dressed. I dropped my hat, but being pressed for time I did not mind. I managed just to board the boat, and then once more I was afloat, and left .the town behind. Fi^is.