BOILS—"A COMPOSITION."

Westport Times, Volume II, Issue 262, 3 June 1868, Page 3

BOILS—"A COMPOSITION."

A boil is generally very small at first and a fellow hardly notices it, but in a few days it gets to be the biggest of the two, and the chap that has it is of very little account in comparison with his boil, which then " has him." Boils appear mysteriously upon various portions of the human body, coming when and where " they darn please," and often in very inconvenient places. Sometimes a solitary boil is the sum total of the affliction, but frequently there is a " rubishin' lot of em" to help the first one. If a boil comes anywhere on a person, that person always wishes it somewhere else, although it would puzzle him to say just where. Some persons call them " Damboils," but such persons are addicted to profanity—the proper name is boil. If a chap has a boil he generally gets a good deal of sympathy from others—"in a horn." Whoever askshim what ails him laughs at him for his pains to answer, while many unfeeling persons make game of him, or of his misfortune, or boil. It is very wicked to make sport of persons with boils, they cannot help it, and often feel very badly about it. Physicians don't give boil patients much satisfaction as a general thing, although young physicians who are just beginning to practice are fond of trying their lancets on them. Boils are said to be " healthy," and, judging from the way they take held, and hang on, and ache, and burn, and grow, and raise Cain generally, there is no doubt that they are healthy and have good constitutions. They are generally very lively and playful at nights, and it is very funny to see a chap with a good large one, prospecting around his couch for a place where his boil will fit in " without hurting." Boils tend to "purify the blood," strengthen the system, calm the nerves, restrain the profanity, tranquilise the spirits, improve temper, and beautify the appearance. They are good things for married men who spend their evenings away from home, as they give them an opportunity to rest their night keys and get acquainted with their families. It is said that boils save the patient " a fit of sickness," but if the sickness is not the best to have, it must be an all-fired mean thing. It is also said that a person is better after he has had them, and there is no doubt that one does feel much better after having got rid of them. Many distinguished persons have enjoyed these harbingers of health. Job took the first prize at the County Pair for having more achers under cultivation than any other person. Shakspeare had them, and meant boils when he said, " One woe doth tread upon another's heels, ,so fast they follow." There are a great many remedies for boils, most of which are well worth trying; because if they don't do any good, they don't hurt the boils. If a chap goes down street with a boil, every man he meets will tell him of a " good " thing for it, which are—Shoemakers' wacks, Mrs Winslow's Sirup, Trix, Spaulding's Glue, Charlotte

G-um Drops, Waterproof Blacking, Night Blooming Cereus, Chloroform, Kissengen, &c, &c.— BlachwelVs Notes.