A FRENCH MARRIAGE.

Westport Times, Volume 1, Issue 132, 2 January 1868, Page 4

A FRENCH MARRIAGE.

(I'JIO.M TllK SATURDAY KEVIEW.) The French theory of matrimony lias of h.to been rather gaining ground in England. The marriage of affection on which we were formerly disposed to pride ourselves is so tftm confounded with the marriage of caprice, that a natural reaction has set in in favor of the marriage of convenience. Love matches, it is said, have a trick of turning out ill, and, whether this be true or not, thero can be no doubt that a great many of the unions so described .arc by no means conspicuously happy. Probably, however, a more accurate knowledge of the circumstances would show that a largo proportion of the marriages thus hastily grouped together under a common name have vei>y little in common with the genuine article. In the days of Gretna Green the simple fact of an elopement was considered fully sufficient to make the marriage one of affection ; and even now the sainecomplimentary euphemism is constantly employed where thoughtlessness or self-will would be far more appropriate terms. It may be always assumed, by a sort of charitable hypothesis, that a girl marries for love whenitis impossible to assignany other good reason for her doing so; and consequently the practice, has to bear the blame that ought by rights to be reserved for cases where the determining cause is either love of excitement, or

desire of change, or a simple wish to go counter to her father and mother. Of course, if every girl who, influenced by these or the like motives, insists on marrying a man without either knowedge of his character or experience of shi temper, is set down as having married for love, there will -always be plenty of unfavorable instances upon which an adverse critic may rely for proof of bis position. In this way love iu a cottage comes in for all the discredit which justly attaches to a cottage without love. It is not every dinner of herbs that is better than a stalled ox ; and young ladies who try the experiment of dispensing with the more substantial fooil had better make sure that they have secured the accompaniment which will alone make the herbs palatable. It is not wonderful , therefore, that the mariai/e dc convenance should have gone up in public estima* tion when its rival is thus unfairly weighted in the race. Mr Trollope, in one of bis recent novels, expresses his wonder at the wordly prudence which .English young ladies usually display in the conduct of their matrimonial projects, and certainly the average daughter seems as little inclined as her parents to run any pecuniary risk in that direction. It is no function of ours, however, to depreciate the virtue of prudence; and if we take occasion to illustrate its application by a recent French example, wo disclaim beforehand all idea of pointing an adverse moral in doing so. Count Sigismond Festetits de Tolna is an Hungarian nobleman of large fortune, and Chamberlain to the Emperor of Austria. This exalted office docs not seem to carry with it any particular duties, as from 1847 he lias been a constant traveller, except when he was been resident in France. At Paris, in the early summer of 18G4, be saw and loved Mademoiselle Laure de Vilna. He first met her at an evening party, and as soon as he became conscious of the dawning passion, he applied himself, after the most approved precedents of Ins adopted country, to the young lady's mother. He laid before her, in the first instance, a candid and ample statement of tl ie characteristics he required in a wife, and of the advantages which he had to offer as a husband. He seeks a partner who shall be young, virtuous, and of noble birth, though it appears from another part of the°correspondence tint on tins last bead he was not disposed to exacting. He stipulates that she shall be good in health, and that she will not object to ■smoking. He requests to be informed what are Mile, de Vilna's ordinary occupations, and adds the somewhat vague question, " Ts she too religious ?" Further, he inquii'es how many relatives she lias, and whether " she likes pleasure tours." Then, anxious apparently to disabuse his correspondent of the idea that a large fortune excuses its possessor from the practice of frugality, he goes on, "Hoes she understand housekeeping, and is she economical and regardless of luxury ?" Altogether, indeed, he is most laudably anxious that none of his expression's should be misunderstood. Although he wishes only for a moderate amount of religion in his wife, he cannot dispense with gentleness and good humor; and he guards himself against the supposition that, in asking about her relatives, he means that ho intends to admit them to his intimacy, by the remark that, though ho has a great many of his

own, ho " only yisits thorn in turn every fivo or six year-*." But ii' the Count do Tolna asked much, ho had much to offer in return. Enclosed in the same letter, but written, diplomatically, on a separate sheet of paper, agpeared an enumeration of his own good qualities. Ho has improved his mind, he tells Madame do Vilna, by " travelling for pleasure and instruction in various parts of the world." He is "a good Christian," and gives away a great deal in charity. In connection, ho wove r, with this meritorious practice, it sceixs to have struck him that his wife may wish to increase or limit his bounty, and he consequently adds, " hut I never suffer anyone to dictate to mo what lam to give." His youth —his was then forty-two—was passed iu a cavalry regiment, and ho modestly " fancies" that his tastes are still those of an officer and a gentleman. Possibly a reminiscence of the tastes of some of his companions in arms induced him to explain that he does not drink or play, and that he was never in debt. And yet all these combined virtues have not raised him too high above the common level. He is still human, and fond of concerts, theatres and races indeed ho " likes public amusements better than drawing-room life." Still, even pleasure is to be pursued economically. He" cares little for high society or sumptuous living," and though his position as a chamberlain makes it necessary for him to pay visits to great personages, he says nothing about entertaining them in return. Even when bent on his favorite " pleasure tours," he still has a frugal mind, and " takes no servant." He is much occupied in literary pursuits, and is the director and proprietor of a journal from which as he is "altogether devoted to the French Emperor," politics are strictly and most appropriately excluded. Finally, be plays the piano and the organ, and smokes a great deal.

To this letter Madame de Yilna replied by asking for further information respecting the Count's fortune, though she assumes that on this point his reply will be satisfactory, as she believes he " is too much of a gentleman uselessly to trouble the virgin heart of a young girl." It appears that M. dc Tolna had sent a number of bis paper with bis letter, and Madame de Vilna gives _ proof that she has read it critically by asking leave to " say that she thinks the philosophy of proverbs remarkably weU handled." We may suppose that her inquiries as to money matters were answered as she wished, for a few days later Mdllc. Laure makes her first appearance on the scene by writing to ' her lover, "I have long desired to write to you," she begins, " and now" —having ascertained that her child's virgin heart will not be uselessly troubled—" Mamma allows it." Nothing can be more exact than the correspondence between the characters of the two lovers. The lady's views of life " are altogether conformable" to the gentleman's. " You like travel," she cries; " so do I." " You smoke—we will smoke as much as ever you like." The Emperor of the French " possesses her entire admiration." Drawing and music have always been her " greatest resource," and she desires nothing better than to have opportunities of going on with them Literature -observe the graceful allusion to the non-political journal—- " will have great charms for'her when she is able to follow it more seriously"—by correcting, perhaps, her husband's proofs. What she still wants in educational completeness she is eager to supply. She will be glad to learn riding and swimming; thinking, we suppose, that, with the Count's economical views of travel, it is hard to say to what mode of locomotion she may not be reduced. And she has no doubt that his valuable advice will soon perfect her in housekeeping. "You are good," she adds, " and therefore indulgent." Such an eager desire of self-improvement would of itself be a sufficient proof of modesty and submission, but the young lady is not satisfied without a more pronounced depreciation of herself. " I have, alas !" she tells the Count, " no marriage portion to bring you but the sweet hope of rendering you happy." At this point, however, Madame de Vilna seems to have thought that her daughter was making herself a little too cheap, for the sentence is completed in a different handwriting by the words "and my youth and beauty." Then the letter winds up with an invitation to dinner —" Mamma expects you, and I wish you particularly to come." What could be more praiseworthy than the whole course of this negotiation ? From first to last it was° conducted on those strict business principles the neglect of which is alleged to be the cause of so much unhappiness in j

English marriage*. The greatest frankness characterises the lover's addresses ; the most admirable anxiety "not to trouble the virgin heart oJ" a young girl" at too low a figure marks the mother's reply. It is discouraging that the sequel of the story should answer so imperfectly to its beginning. Those admirable letters have just become public property, as a part of tho evidence in a suit for divorce. The marriage took place three weeks after the despatch of the young lady's letter, and tho honeymoon and a great part of tho following winter were spent in those " pleasure tours" in which Count de Tolna had found so much of his bachelor happiness. During this time the husband carried on a brisk correspondence with his mother-in-law, the gist of which was that ho felt completely disappointed in his wife. Tho Erench papera —more reserved in this respect than our moral journals—decline to insert those letters, on account of the freedom with which they discuss the most intimate details of married life. But we can just gather that the Count's yearnings for affection were lamentably checked, by the coldness with which they were received. Mme. de Tolna took to painting her face —not, it seems, with a view of enhancing her beauty, but to prevent the Count from kissing her ; and she carried that very moderation in religion which he had stipulated for to an extreme, since the moment she went to bed she fell asleep directly, "without thinking of Cod or her husband." The Count's emotions, thus thrown back upon himself, seem to have found a veut in the systematic thwarting of his wife's wishes, diversified by gross insults in the presence of his servants, and even by an occasional beating, until at length the victim has applied for a legal separation. The Court has deferred giving judgment until it is in possession of further evidence ; and as Count do Tolna also threatens to institute a similar suit on his own account, the Parisian world may yet hope to be furnished with more complete information respecting the history of this interesting couple.