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TOLD ON LAMBTON QUAY.

[By The Ancient Mariner.]

" And thus spake on that ancient man, The bright-cyei mariner."—Coleridge. Weu,isi!TOS, Tuesday. HIS CHRISTMAS HAMI'EII. * During the uoxt two or three eoks, tho question of ways and moans will crop up iu most households ; and how to provide the Christmas cheer, will be discussed. Tradesmen, in a measure, make the task a light one, by offering Christmas hampers at reduced prices; and most of us nro thus able to mako provision for tho Xrnas season. However economical we may be, the festival season is sure to cost money, and it therefore makes one envious to learn that- a clever individual has Leon able to lav iu a store of wine, which most of us find such an enjoynblo addition at Christmas time, at a trifling cost. How this was managed, is a story worth relating; more particularly as tho individual who is credited with this special piece of cleverness, is looked upon by his acquaintances as a bit of a crank; strangers regard him as decidedly eccentric, while his friends say that lie is dangerously clever. Whether cranky, eccentric or clever, ho evidently understands the weak spots of human nature, and knows just how; ..Aid when to play upon the weakness, j *Wlien lying in his whare, thinking fondly of home and mother, and ruminating on tho spankings of boyhood mid the glorious times spent at Christmas, an idea struck him; it did not hurt, or if it did, the pleasure of the pain was great. Snatchgave form and substance to tho idea that was to provide him with his Christmas wine. He wrote a scathing letter, condemning in measured terms, tho wine produced inNew Zealand. According to him, our wine-

makers could not producean article lit to bo used as pigs' swill. Hocompared New Zealand wine with the product of Australia, and the comparison was very severe. The letter was published by a country newspaper, nnd the full name and address of the writer was given. He purchased a dozen or more copies of the paper and took them homo with hint, for the effective part of the great idea was yet to come, A friend who, as the larrikins say, " went whacks" in the wliare, perused the letter, aud Jgplaimed that the effect of it would jm to bring down about the head of the writer a harvest of libel actions, The clever one was not disturbed by these prognostications, but coolly sent papers, with the letter specially marked, to the leading wine-makers of Now Zealand and the Australian colonies. The first response, as the friend predicted, was a 6/8 scrawl threatening a libel action, but the writer did ,not perspire with fright nor did he reply with hasty words when the friend roared with laughter, elated to find that his views had been so quickly proved to be correct-. That was the only threatening letter the denouncer of New Zealand wine received, the epistles that followed and their accompaniments were what was wanted. Several of the N.Z. wine-manufacturers wrote disputing his contentions, and stating that lie could not have lasted their particular brands, otherwise his letter to the newspaper would have contained unstinted praise instead afcnndemnation. With the letters !Mic sample hampers, which lie was invited to try arid speak as to their merits, From Australia also there came samples, but these by way of tribute for the special praise given them, This astute individual thus managed to get on the blind side of those whom he denounced and those whom he praised, and the wliare is now well stocked with delicious colonial wines, which " many a time and oft" slake the thirst of of the man who hit upon this cheap and effective method of furnishing his cellar. The only fault 1 find with this method of wine-making is that it cannot be repeated with any certainty of good results.

GEORGE IX HAIISESS. The mayoral election last week came as a complete surprise to many. Towards the close of the campaign it was felt that Mr George Fisher would win, but no one expected to seo him returned with so large a majority. The result of the mayoral elpction js significant, and indicates that Mr Fisher is to be given an •fljgjortunity of retrieving his lost but whether George is cap: able of the" fetch and carry" busi-

ness of the retriever remains to be peep. One remarkable feature of the campaign was t|io entire absence of personality and mud-slinging, and there is, no doubt, that not a little of Mr Fisher's success is due to the tornperatecharacterof hisspeeclies. Will Mr Fisher do the city any signal service during his term of office'! 1 think ho will, for I believe be has set his heart upon regaining his political prestige, and will work with that single purpose in view. I believe it will be found that one of the accomplishments of Fisher's reign will be tho erection of a Town Hall. Such an editico is much needed, and the promise of a grand organ on tfie part Of a lady will stimulate tho energies of the new Mayor to secure for the city a Town Hall. It is needless to say that Mr George' Fisher is more than pleased with his prospects, and the ntat general elpctifm w'iljseehim p|i the sfunip. It wijl pot be his fault if hp is not in Parliament once again. UHI-ATKp I'ASCKIIS. "<#hc other evening a young fellow.

with his two sisters and somebody else's sister, were at ft dance, and aftor enjoying themselves thoroughly left for home about 11.30 p.m. Tiioy lived somewhere in Thermion, and their road home took them past the General Post Office. Hero they saw au individual, whom, at that ft hour of the night, they look for a half-dvunk loafer, and their opinion of' him was intensified when they saw Him gazo lit then') in a'seemingly impertinent manner'. He looked' at the whole four uf them' with' a jiene- ; Ijaffpg stare,an(lsiiddeiijyexeli(imed !! 1 svani tp t;ee >v!mt's inuiatpajcej.*' (Jpe pf the ladjes, it should hp explained, carried ft package roughly wrapped up in newspaper. "Why do you want to see the pjircol'(' responded the young man, while the ladies sought behind him. " I want to see what s in thatparcel," repeated the inquisitive individual. " Well you can want," replied the yjbg njan, and moved on, followed bplie girls, thinking thus to get rid of the intruder. It did not work, aiid the reply from the midnight Paul Pry did not in the least disconcert them. " I am a Customs Officer, and 1 shall follow you to ydiir home.and; demand admission,' for I must see whatisin that parcel," The quartet-moved on, and the other followed as'he said he would; upon ? it dawned ou the youm? people that

probably tlioy Wero mistaken in assumiug thai the intruder was a mora midnight loafer, ami to savo any unpleasantness the parcel was handed over to tho officer for inspection. With the care born of years of experience in handling packages, lio opened tho parcel, and found, to | his disgust, that they consisted of a I pair of "trotter-cases." All this trouble to live individuals over a pair of dancing-shoes. The officer gave, his name, and explained tn his victims that he thought ho saw them como off the Queen's Wharf, and the packago looked tohiinliko smuggled goods, lience his very peculiar demands and actions. Tho otliceracted well within his riglils, still it must have been vory annoying to tho belated dancers to bo so baled-tip and mistaken for smugglers.

SII.KS AND liIQUOK. In a big city there are many sights which, to country people, would seem novel and interesting, but which, to the average citizen, aro not worth a moment's attention. Now and again, however, we do see

things in the Empire City that arouse our curiosity, and we gazo and gaze, and continue to gazo at them. A dog-tight is warranted to draw a crowd at any time, notwithstanding that dog-tights are common in the city where there are so many unregistered curs. A sight that attracted a great deal of attention was witnessed one day last week. Two fashionably dressed women were to bo seen on Lambton Quay, staggering along towards Willis-street. The staggering attracted the crowd, and when it became known that the females were" out on the spree," and were gloriously drunk, the interest of tho crowd greatly increased. Fashionably dressed drunken women measuring the streets in broad daylight is an uncommon sight, and who could blame us if we stopped to gaze at the rare spectacle, and to express sorrow for the foolish women. Some three years ago a similar thing occurred, but on that occasion some thoughtful individual telephoned the police, and flic drunken daughter of Eve was met by a couple of constables, who placed her in a cab and drove her to the Central Police Station. ft is quite clear that every fashionably dressed woman we seeon our streets is not a lady. Wll.l, VOL - work ?

The Queen's Wharf is the rendezvous for all the out-of-work men of the City. They congregate in this neighbourhood at an early hour of the morning on the chance of striking a job, When there is plenty of shipping in port as is the case just now, work is plentiful and most of the men find employment, it may be for a couple of hours or more, or it may be all day, There are occasions in the shipping season when work is slack, and the majority of the men may spend the whole day Jon the wharf without- getting the chance of earning a shilling. The " wharf-rats" as they are popularly termed are quite a study. They are mostly hard-eased shell-backs who prefer life ashore with all its risks to life on the water and full pay, On a Monday morning a keen observer could not fail to be struck with the neat and clean appearance of the men. On Mondays the wharf-rat appears in his clean white moleskins,' an eloquent tribute to the elbowgi'oaseofthe 'missus' and the ollicacy of tiio wash-board, and Hudson's extract of soap ; on Saturday morning the wharf-rat is repulsive, for then he exhibits in his clothes and person the dirt andgriineof a week's " hard graft." Sunday comes as a happy relief when the nmch-necdcd bath is taken, anil the Sunday togs (if not in pawn) aro on active service.

There are some extremely hardworking fellows in tlic army of " \vlmrf-rats," and there are, too, a great many rank loafers, who prefer loitering about the wlmrf smoking, swearing, and spitting, to working and earning money. An incident illustrating the laziness of the purebred wharf loafer, was related to me tho other day. A lady fixed upon a day for moving her furniture from one house to another, but the day chosen by her was afterwards proclaimed a holiday, but she did not remember this until the day before. It was about four in the afternoon when she recollected about the holiday, and forthwith decided \ipon moving straight away. >Slie consulted the carriers, and they agreed to do the job that evening; for it meant working until 10 or 11 at night. Knowing that she would require help, she went down to the wharf lo eugago two or three men; there were several idle wharf rats about, but none of them would tackle the job—not tlioy, Tliey \ couldn't see the fun of grafting at night, They weren't night birds; and the lady found it impossible to engage any of the men. There was no question as to wages, for she was willing to pay fully and fairly for the labour, The men simply did not want work in the evening, for it would take tliem away from their pubs and other evening resorts. Yet these very men had spent the whole day at the wharf, apparently looking for work and refused the only chance offered them.

AFiEI! THE FIRK. Recently we have bad more than out' usual share of Ijres, but thanks to an excellent water-supply and an efficient Fire Brigade, the fires we have had have not caused very much damage, Whije on duty a fireman is interesting to a certain extent; you watch tho effect of his every antic, and occasionally ho gives you the chance to smile as he dexterously dodges a falling firebrand, or gets out of the road of'a shower of hot bricks. After the fine you get the most amusement out of tho firemen. It is fun to see how swiftly and silently sundry pints of beer are swallowed; thirsty job putting out a lire, There was a lire on the Quay last Saturday evening, but with their usual smartness the brigade soon had it out. After tho event there was the usual swiping to fortify tlie firemen and the usual cackle and reniiiiisce'nt talk. A fireman Jjejieyra in relating eyery detail, otherwise he thinks his yayii would bp discredited. On t|iis'particular occasion, each ono was rclatr ing where lie was when the bell fang out the alarm, Ono fellow was in bed, nnother was just going towards the station, another was on his way homo, Ono follow eaid—- " I was put with missns; and as wo passed a pub I told her to walk On while I slipped in for a drink: I had just called for a pint of beer 1 when the bell rang." Of course we inferred from this that ho left the pint untouched. Ho settled all doubts by saying—"l finished tho pint though,"

WELUXGIOX WOOL SALES. The Opening of tlio' series of wool sales takes ; plttce on" i;t'iday>'" tthbn 1500 bales will be submitted to auction. The catalogue is a sniall oho

and is disappointing when compared with tho lots ottered in somo of the othor towns. At Invorcargill moro than 5000 bales were offered, at Chrislchnrch there was a big catalogue, and Wellington's 1500 bales is poor and insignificant. The farmers iu the Provincial District have got into the habit of shipping direct to London, and the brokers find it difiicult to get. tliem out of i lie beaten track. The fanners however arc dbing the right thing in shipping to London, whore they stand the obance of gotting tho best price, being a bigger market, besides the expenscsare less when compared with (lie charges incurred at the local sales, However, good prices are expected at the Wellington sales, and some think we slmll get 9d per lb. for good wools. Tho firmness of the London sales and tho activity at tho Syduoy sales is certain to be reflected at our local sale, and if there is a good attendance of representative buyers, tho salo should be a complete success.

Permanent link to this item
Hononga pūmau ki tēnei tūemi

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/WDT18951205.2.25

Bibliographic details
Ngā taipitopito pukapuka

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume XVI, Issue 5199, 5 December 1895, Page 3

Word count
Tapeke kupu
2,469

TOLD ON LAMBTON QUAY. Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume XVI, Issue 5199, 5 December 1895, Page 3

TOLD ON LAMBTON QUAY. Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume XVI, Issue 5199, 5 December 1895, Page 3

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