TOLD ON LAMBTON QUAY.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume XVI, Issue 5181, 14 November 1895, Page 3

TOLD ON LAMBTON QUAY.

1 [By The Asciot Mariner,] Aid thus tpak on that ancient man. The bright-eyed mariner,"— Coleridge. Welukoton, Tuesday. ' ESTKRTAISISO HATS, Rats! To tho ordinary woman, and tho advanced female, the word litis an ominous sound. A roomful of women, can, in tho twinkling of an eyo, bo converted into acrobats by one single rodent. To get out of the way of a rat, a woman will gather up her skirts and climb anything from a chair to a mantel-piece; yet wo cannot do without rats and the rest of tho tribe. What would be the use of Towzer if tliore were noj rats and mice for tho little fellow to ! worry ? How many people live on rats und mice? Thero is tho rat-. ~ catcher, a familiar porsonage iu the Cities of the Old World, the manufacturers of rat-traps, must, in the course of a year, make many thousands of traps, and so find employment for many workmen. Men of genius, too, liavo not been above making a profit out of the rodent, as witness the number of patents that exist for trapping mice and rats. Knock the rat out of existence, and wo shall have to throw overboard a adage, which has somefiling to do with sinking-ships. Rats, however, are like tea-leaves, perpetually in hot-water, but their extermination is not just yet. Ratstories are plentiful, and anyone who cares for the job could very easily collect enough yarns to lill a fair sized volume. In the matter of rats Wellington is no better and no worse than other places; they are to bo found everywhere, and in the neighbourhood of the Supreme Court Buildings, a colony of rodents have burrowed great cavities, causing the footpath to subside. Rats oeeasioually afford ns some genuine amusement, as was tho case yesterday. In an empty shop window, threo rodents with unblushing effrontery and a total disregard for Towiec and T. Cat, wcro disporting themselves catching blue-bottle Hies with dexterity, to the intense amusement of half-a-dozen onlookers, These rats live on the premises, and were thus engaged to show that they disdained charity and preferred to work for their daily bread.

J& A HOLIDAY SIIUKK. November, December ami January, are the months when tradesmen and .shopkeepers look for extra business, more cash sales, and a general harvest. It is with other people, a time for holiday-making and money spending, but for the shopkeeper it means "hard-graft," But tin; shopkeeper is not wont, to growl at other people taking holidays and spending money; he does not even mind the " hard-graft," but he has a decided objection to hems; forced into holiday-making himself. Wellington shopkeeper's threaten to strike this week, and no one can blame them in the matter. The anniversary of H.R.H.'s birthday, which to suit onr convenience we put off from Saturday to Monday, and the people's day at the Wellington Show on Thursday, which we are asked to observe as a holiday, makes the week look very silly for shopkeeper's. It is against this unfltttssarv and unwise multiplication n<(fl|iolidftyS|tliatshopkcepei'Sthreateii to strike, and it is just possible therefore that the Wellington Show may suffer in consequence. Of the two holidays this week we could have easily done without the Prince of Wales' Birthday, but this being a sort of statutory holiday, it is surprising the Show Committee did not try and avoid giving annoyance to business people. It must, however, be confessed that the Wellington Show is wedged in by other events, such as the Palmerstou North and Canterbury Shows and the Wellington raco meeting, leaving tlio Agricultural Show virtually no choice of date, The shopkeepers may strike, but notwithstanding this, tho Wellington A. and P. Show, if given fine weather, promises to be an unqualified success. ACiUSCEFORF.SmmiSE.

There are some peculiar features about the mining boom, which still holds tlio community simply clasped to its bosom. First ol nil let mo say that the political crisis in Turkey, «tch Ims effected the continental urses, and the London Stock Exchange is also being felt in a mild form in the mining market in this Colony. Numbers of first-class mining properties are waiting llotation iu the London market, and on this expectation the shares have changed hands, rising and falling with the tone of the market. Most of tho gambling in mining scrip is worked on tho chances of London syndicates bringing up the properties,'and with the political crisis now demoralising the Home markets, the chances run down to zero. That-tho gambling is wholly on prospects is amply demonstrated by thcfallinHazelbanksbares. While negotiations were pending with tho Homo syndicate tho shares quickly roso to 7s fid, but a cable message announcing that tbe time is inopportune for working the London market lias caused the shares to drop, and they are scarcely saleable , at 3s 6i. But I have something else to say about the mining boom, which is of more importance. The "No Liability" clause of the Mining Act] onables small gamblers and big jkaftlerstohavc their full fling, and the speculators are selling shares they do not possess. As the j matter now stands there is no means of ascertaining whether a person holds shares in a mining company or not. No scrip is issued, consequently there is no evidence of proprietor-' ship, and this opens up a rare opportunity for the enterprising swindler. Let us suppose that a well '' dressed plausible kind of individual steps into a sharebroker's office and gives instructions for the sale of ,509 Adelaides, he has nothing to show that he holds the shares and , unless the broker he will accept tbe instructions, A sale is effected, tlm seller signs tho transfer', obtains a cheque in settlement, and the broker lias tho document stamped and forwarded to Auckland for registration. After the lapse of a week,: the broker is informed that Mr So-and-So does not hold any shares; tho unfortunate broker is left, and so. has the seller, who has plenty of 1 tiiafco work a similar swindle on all theTrokers in the City. An entjiv ' prising man could work the oracle and leave with a good round sum. This game has not been played yet, but should the boom continue, a swindle of this character is bound to bo : worked'.'•'The Auckland people lire boitig pressed to take action in pe matfor,'and'to' insist uppn : the ■ pue'p) ?h a ro certificates ofsome ';■■■ other docurao'nts that may be usecTas ; evidence of ownership.

I JBMA S JUJfI'S Julia has a record nil of hor own, It is a record however, that is writ large in the books of the S,M. Court and the gaol register. Julia's main fault is an insatiable thirst, and she will wander far and near after a long beer. In ono of her beor-hniiting : expeditions she found herself somewhere in tho neighbourhood of the Lower Hutt, and after emptying tho contents of her purso and swilling long beers, Julia was not in a (it condition to tramp into town. This was a trilling matter, for Julia is a woman of expedients as most swipers are, and quickly jumped on the iu-coming train. " Ticket please " came from the guard, but Julia responded with a beery smile " Aiut got none." The guard was unable to get money or ticket from her, and lie had no other alternative but to hand her over to the stationmastur. Julia was threatened with tho police, but that made no impression upon her for she was well acquainted with the " foorce." Suddenly she thought of an old trick and she was allowed to enter the waiting room ; a stalwart porter* was told off to guard the door and hold Julia when she came out. The minutes rolled by, and after waiting half an hour the porter appealed to the stationmaster. The door was opened but Julia had vanished, an open window explaining the cause of her disappearance. The porter turned grey when the circumstance was reported to a higher official, and lie was told olf to hunt up Julia. Besides being a swipcr, Julia is something else, and for a respectable porter to be hunting for a street daisy, in broad daylight, was too good a joke, and the gravity of the other hands was completely upset. Julia jumped on the train, jumped through the window, jumped into gaol, and Julia's jumps are a standing joke at tho railway station. THE ISICYCI.K nUSIXESS. The bicyolo has come to stay ; tho bicycle intends more, for there is not the least doubt that the "bike" is jostling the "moke" for first position, and is gradually winning. The bike affords plenty of work for several classes of workers, professional and otherwise. Tho manufacturers, mechanics, canvassers, agents, etc., all find the bike profitable, and so does Ihe doctor occasionally, Butthe benefits to be derived from the bike are by no means exhausted, and it is only a matter of time when we shall see properly appointed bike stables on similar lines to livery stables, It should bo a good business to hire out bicycles the same as lioracs are ! hired out at the livery tables. This is no uncommon feature in England, where bicycles may be hired by the day, week or month. The tariff is 12s 6d for the first week and 10s for every subsequent week, or liiis pet month. In the oveut of the machine being purchased before the expiry of the month, no fee is charged for the hiring, Furthermore at these bike stables, owners may leave their machines, the stable-keepers undertaking to look after and clean them. The foe for stabling a bike is very small, but the advantage of being abletoleaveone's bike in safety while in the city, and h&viue; the machine thoroughly cleaned and oiled are much appreciated. With the rapid growth of cycling in tho Colony, bike stables must sooner or later bo provided. CRIIIIiED IS ClU'ltCH.

Mr Collar is a clerk in some ollice, whether junior or senior is immaterial, but after office hours, Mr C. has the nir of a millionaire. His screw won't run a missus, he has therefore to waddle through life all by himself. With all his faults, errors and imperfections, Mr C. is aconsistentChurch goer, and is one of the few bachelors in this city that pays pew rent, The othei/Sunday MrC, went to Church as usual, but thoughtless he put the " klcction money" into his overcoat, and hung the overcoat, not on the piano as most young men do, but in tho vestry, when tho plate was bobbed under his nose, C, turned crimson, for he hadn't a sprat on him. and the plate had to move on. He thought of his overcoat, and the little " half-sov." lying in one of the pockets. At first ho determined to hand in the money after Church, but on second thoughts he calculated that ten bob would pay for two dress-circle tickets, and supper at the Trocadero. He based his calculations without a thought of the overcoat thief, for when he searched the pocket for tho golden half-sov., he discovered that somebody else had been there before him. It was gone—two dress-circle tickets and supper at the Troc—gone in one act, and that too while ho was diligently praying. Wellington thieves are no respecters of edifices, and overcoats in a Church are sometimes better worth rifling than overcoats at a Theatre. THINGS WE SEE. In a City like Wellington, we are apt to see some peculiar sights during the course of a day, but for uncompromising hideousness, give me thegirlswith walking-sticks. About a dozen or more young women, decked in the season's finery, with every claim to be blue-bloods of tho City, parade the streets of Wellington with walking-sticks. Let me paint tho picture of one of theso female women. Her boots • are of patent leather, set off with drab-gaiters, black skirt, with a shirt-like blouse, stand-up collar and cuffs, cravat, sailor-hat and walking stick. A figure not unlike a sack of pollard, and a facealleged to be good-looking. When walking the streets, theso young ladies evidently fancy they are acting—the goat—for they talk in a high pitched voice, intended to attract notice. When passing the womon with walking-sticks,l iuvariably expect to see cigarettes between their lips, or to hear curse words,for these things indicate the masculine gender. Cigarettes and swearing, will, no doubt, come in time, for it I is thp apparent ambition of these silly women to ape the men. If they only knew how hideous they appear to the eye of the average man, I think they would present their shirt collars, and walking-sticks to their male relatives. Iu the meantime these young ladies should have somej consideration for other pedestrians, and cany their walklng-stricks in such a way as will least run the risk of poking out other persons' eyes,

Jamos A. Sinclair, »n ei-achool teacher while going home from a meeting of the Otahunu Mutual Improvement Society, took a fit, and lay unconscious all night on the road, Ho died next morning. The long standing grievance of the Wairarapa Natives with reference to the outlet of the lake is, wc understand, in a fair way of settlement, says tho New Zealand limei. Tttc Premier met a deputation of tho Maori owners, a few days ago, and arranged with them a basis of ojpeomeni for a settlement on i terms saiisfactory" to them and for the public benefit,