TOLD ON LAMBTON QUAY.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume XVI, Issue 5176, 7 November 1895, Page 2

TOLD ON LAMBTON QUAY.

[By The Akcieni Mariner.] "And thus spah on that ancient man, The Iright-eycd moiiW."—Colcridgo. Wellington, Tuesday. THE DI.OOMINO FLOWERS. .1 Go whore you will outeido business portion of the City, andJflL eye rests pleasantly on flowers, gardens of Wellington are remarkable for their smallness, This is because land is at such a premium that garden spaco becomes scarce. Notwithstanding this, there are (lowers in almost every cottage area, In the fashionable thoroughfares, / such, for instance, as the Terrace, Hobson-street, and parte of Tinakori Road, there may bo seen just now a wealth of flowers. What strikes a stranger ns extremely funny is the peculiarity of the Botanical Gardens, The name would suggest that it is the City's beautyspot,outthestrang'(| visiting tho locality is soon undeceived. There is in the Botanical • Gardens a profusion of ti-trees, underscrub, aud dead-wood, with patches of native bush. A few slippery, rickety pathways, with a rustic seat or two, a care-taker, and half-a-dozen or more frogs, make up the sum total of Wellington's Botanical Gardens. It is a disgrace, but as we aro callous to outside opinion, the gardens will remain as they m until the crack of doom. Wl» doing the sights with a friencWo invariably fall back upon M'Nab's or the Karori Gardens for a treat.

In these days when we are taught to look to a grand-motherly Government for everything, it is surprising 4? to me that the Scenery Preservation Society has not stuck up the Seddon crowd for special consideration. Tho Government can do a good deal in this direction at a very trilling cost, At nearly all railway stations in this Colony thero is to be seen a spare piece of ground which could he very easily made to look beautiful. Let me speak of tho Wellington Station, where there is much ground lying idle. Someone in a fit of generosity planted at wide intervals some shrubs, but through neglect nothing remains of them now. If encouragement were given to the station hands to beautify tho f ' ground, and if each year competitions wore held and prizes awarded, the station yards would soon bo transformed. This is no new idea, for i" England the railway compatujpr spend large sums, whicharoannuMJ distributed as prizes for the bS? station gardens. Instead of encouraging this kind of work, our States- .'» men sit on the railway men with a ponderous weight, I know of a case where a stationmaster spent much time and money in beautifying his residence, which was Government property. When vacating the house he asked for a small consideration for the work he had done, and was , met with a blank refusal. Such is a stationinastor's life.

" hie sun." The miuing boom has brought to light some strange characters. Tho most sober-minded mon seem unablo to resist the temptation to gamble in scrip; bald-headed old sinners who should be preparing for the next world, ure as eager as the common junior clerk, to make a fortune in mining. This yarn, however, has nothing to do with the heavy-headed gamblers, but refers to a young'un, who is known in the mining markJjL as "The Slab," His christeningtoM place in a dingy office in a dilapidated wooden building, and ho came to be known as " The Slab" because of his extreme length and infinitesimal breadth, His shadow, such as it was, darkened the dingy office each morning of tho working days of the week, and his talk waa wholly on mines, He would stand at the doorway for a minute or two, before asking some unanswerable and absurd question. His queries seemed to travel upwards from his toes, and being obliged to travel a long distance before escaping his lips, they took up a good deal of time. "The Slab" has taken to plunging, and is now the ownor of a vast quantity of all kinds of mining scrip, good, Dad and indifferent. Ho intends realising shortly, and hopes to scoop in a profit of between £SOO and £b'oo, when he proposes visiting foreign parts. He is waiting, like a good many more, for the profit, which seems a long time coming. SUI'ERLU'IVE MEN. I One hears scarcely anything olso ' talked about on Umbtou-quay ,jj£ mining shares and the mining boo™ occasionally as for instance during* the past few days horse, racing, which constitutes another form of

gambling, shared with the mining boom the attention of a section of the people. Tlio whole talk, however, boiled down, is about gambling, the money won and lost. Gamblingovor horse llesh keeps quito an army of loafers in fine clothes and Havanna cigars, but gambling in mining scrip is less risky and affords employment to a contingent of alleged respectable people, including navvies. At any rate for the moment Wellington is steeped in gambling, and is enjoying itself immensely. I had a chat this morning with a gentleman who has been speculating in Auckland mining shaves, and who has just returned from a visit to the northern city. He tells me'that the Aucklandors are pawning their boots to enable them to hold scrip, tho boom has demoralised tho community and tho crop of liars is bountiful. Every other man is a mining expert, a company promoter, or a legal manager, and tboy aro all liars. Thero are, i however, degrees of fabricators, a4M they are placed in this order. common liar, the awful liar, and the mining expert. My informant is of opinion that the boom will last, the interest involved being of a nature to prolong the agony. shock with a hook. Sceno—A booksollor's shop' in Wellington; the proprietor a genial old cuss, fond of a good joke and ready to explode at the shortest. A customer dropped in just as tho books and periodicals per 6,8, Tokoniaru were laid on the counter foi sale, The customer was garrulous, < but full of anecdote, his only fault being that all bis tales had a personal application, and were fired off with a view of magnifying his importance. The bookseller listened patiently, laughed heartily, and the customer was highly delighted, but in his fiual yarn he overstepped the bounds of prudence, and embellished his story with impossible details. The bookseller quietly picked up aj book and, passing it to tliecustomeijß asked him if he had read it. He" (the customer) looked at tho title, dropped the book like a hot potato and' fled, for he was badly 'bit.' ipluj title pf 'the book y/bich niade sucfi animpressipu is'! A|l men are Liars', 1 ' and is written by 'Joseph' Ifocking.' REHEARSED jlj 1 DREAM. The c.losing (jays of the last session of Bar|iiiment were, made memqrabje by one, or l\p al| : rijght'sjttingß; by much, bickering atjd 'pprsonaliliesj

but not all who waited for the finish attended to their Parliamentary duties. One M.H.R. was otherwise engaged, and the world is iudebted for a knowledge of the fact, to his charming wifo. On the morning after ono late sitting, this good lady met another of her kind to whom ■ she remarked that the House sat! %very late last night. " Yes," replied Mrs JLH.R.Jio.2,my husband did not roach home fill 3 this morning," to which the other responded, " It is terrible, my poor husband came homo so weary and worn-out, that he could not rest. His mind seemed to bo burdened with his legislative duties, for every few minutes he * would press the tip of my nose, and i call out, "Another whiskv, please!" Mrs M.H.R,, No. 2, retorted cruelly, "Ho must have been rehearsing in his dream"; and she was right, CAM.IS TAKES THE CIIAI.K'K. Mv Callis, tlio indefatigable showpromoter, has squirted into the more ■ impressionable of our busiuess men his surplus enthusiasm, with the result that a hard ware show or industrial exhibition is to be held in ISM. The last exhibition held in Wellington was in 18S5, so long ago, that we forget what it was like, and there is nothing left to remind us of it, except an odd photograph or two of the committeemen who had control of the details. Sinco 1885 the Empire 4 City has moved forward, and is bigger, windier and dirtier than ever .- it was, which affords some justification for holding another show. But Callis takes the chalice, for it is to . him that wc owe the idea of an exhibition in 189(1. Ever since lie, plumped into print his notions on r shows, be has worked consistently | and persistently, and he deserves to j succeed. The Christchnrch Indus-j trial Exhibition held a few weeks' ago, with its profit of £2,000, is a fine peg for the Wellington promoters ; it is a stock argument in favour of the Show, anil a forcible . argument at any time, One swallow does not make usnnimei',itwl because of one successful Show, it docs not necessarily follow that all succeeding Shows will be piolilable. But Callis is on the job, and whether we like it or not we will have an Inhibition next year, Already the dog- , grel makers are at work, composing the ode which is to be sung at i the opening of the Exhibition.

CiSUJI, CRUMPS. Thu Government of the day has crumbs, and there arc a score 4Hr more of the genus Lazarus waiting to pick up these crumbs. The vacantJudgeship is under offer to Sir Patrick, but t lie Attorney-General is not built that way, and someone else, a Southerner for certain, is bound to pick up this crumb. Then we have the Agent-General, the litpidators of the Bank of New Zealand Instates Company, and sundry appointments of Justices of the Peace, All these crumbs will fall from the Ministerial table, and who will pick them up is a speculative question. The Judgeshipshouldgo to Mr W. B. Edwards, butit won't go that way. The South lias the monopoly of legal brains, but Wellington has more lawyers to the square foot, than any other toivu 4 in the Colony, but their brains do not come up to the level of a Judge. Sir Patrick is an exception, but lie lias the billet under offer because he is not likely to accept it. The Agent-Generalship is pledged to the Hon. Undesirable Bill, at anyrate it -will surprise a good many, if .Reeves ( JRdoes not replace Sir Wcstby I'erciThe promotion of Beeves will leave ut vacancy in the Ministry, which Larnacli will very likely get. The irrepressible He Hem is being sent Home an ut wild goose chase, so that he may not press his claim for the vacant portfolio. The Assets Realisation Board will come mainly from the South, and Justices of the Peace will fertilise the soil in various parts of the Colony. The Communistic Picnic Party of Wellington will probably receive a few J.P. decorations. Those expecting the crumbs are feverishly anxious, and the Ga:elk is now a much-studied literary production. ' 'IHEAOEXT-UEXEJIAI..

What earthlv use to the colony of New Zealand will the Hon W. P. Reeves be as Agent-General. As Minister of Labour he has shown us how utterly ridiculous the labour party can be, but as Agent-General be can be of no possible use. It is a question that is being greatly canvassed whether this Colony cannot do without an Agent-General and sub-' rstituto a general agent to look after -jjfche interests of'the colony wholly Mrom a commercial point, 1 know Mr Editor, that you favour the idea of a commercial appointment, for I have by me a leading article which . s appeared in your columns on the 2nd March last, in which you warmly advocated the appointment of a general agent as against an AgentGeneral, Here is an extract from that article. " Tho general agent " should he one with a thorough " knowledge of our soil and climate, " what can lie produced here, and " the price at « hich it can be pror " duccd. He should also be convcr- " sant with the wants of the United " Kingdom, the seasons of their " wants, and the prices obtainable " The Hon W. I'. you must admit is not built to your order, ho will nevertheless go Home as a representative of the Colony. You can, however, console your-

self with tlie fact that if New -* Zealand has neglected your advice, Victoria has seized your idea and will act upon it promptly, notwithing that Gillies' terra of office has not expired, lj». FACISG THE E.VEMY. incident, by wnwMlck M'Kcnzie, Sir Walter Duller, breach of privilege, and sundry other persons and things got hopelessly mixed up for a time, is not to be relegated to the dustheap of time, on the contrary, it] will ho revived at the right moment by the injured Knight, 1 have it on the best authority that owing to this Horowheuua breeze, Sir Walter has abandoned his trip to Kngland and will now remain in the colony and woo the suffrages of a constituency at the general election next year. I cannot give the name of the constituency because that is a profound secret, and I am not in the "know you know," but Sir Walter has every reason to think that lie will be returned. Once in Parliament he will open his mouth to its fullest stretch,when thoJleenisler may hear something to his advantage. I hazarded the opinion that Jock may not see the interior of tho Housoafter Sabe next election, as Scobie MoKeu./jie must be reckoned with; under h such circumstances the Knight would disdain taking cover under Parliamentary privilege, and will jniiet U)B man iii'the 'open and giye him ajl the chances of a fair.fight anil lit} favour. '"Sir Walter Bailer looks game enough foranytliing, and he js bending himself ti) (be performance of this one task of clearing ~. himself, which lie rightly says ho owes as duty to his family and friends? Kapai Waja Buld! '