TOLD ON LAMBTON QUAY.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume XVI, Issue 5122, 5 September 1895, Page 2

TOLD ON LAMBTON QUAY.

[By The Ancient Mariner.]

And thus spake on that (indent vian. The bright-eyed mariner."—Coleridge.

Wellington Tuesday,

SNAP-SUOTS ON SUNDAY, It is not often that I trouble A City with fhy presence on a but the delightful spring weather tempted me but last Sabbath day, A stroll in the City on a Sunday afternoon is, to my mind, always marred by some scene that is offensive to tho eye, because of its inharmonious clashing with tho sombre character of the surroundings. Let us take some snap-shots of what is to be seen on Sunday, Ist September, 1895. The afternoon is a busy time; the children are wending their way to Sunday School, the. well-dressed but ill-behaved youths, like so many empty barrels, are rolling down tho streets, without aim or intent. The blare of a brass band strikes the ear, and presently the" Army" heaves in sight. How sincere aud how very enthusiastic are these Salvation Soldiers ? With what persistency do they plead for "another three-penny bit to make up seven shillings," and who, knowing their good work, can resist the appeal for " another three-pence." Tako a shot in this street, anctarti got tho picture of two men; stilPpreachers; earnest men, leatherlunged perhaps, but nevertheless working with a single purpose. Pass on to the Queen's Wharf; wo here get a glimpse of the butterflies. Pretty girls in pretty costumes, fine ladies in seasonable finery; young men in faultless attire," 'Arry in up-to-date bell-bottomed pants, high-heeled boots, ami bat like an inverted pudding-bowl. Insufferable cads, giddy old men, nursemaids and babies, (ill in the picture. These people have nothing to do but waste their time, and they succeed very well indeed. Come into a side-street away from the "madding crowd." Here is a man in the uniform of the Permanent Artillery; what on earth can he be doing in a deserted street ? He is doing police duty, aud is on tho beat; watch him closely; he appears to be practising the goose step, cannot walk steadily. Take a snapshot as he passes, eyes look dazed, faco is flushed, legs are rebellious, breath is like unto the bouquet of a' " pub." What is tho matter ? Jijt need to ask, for it is too palpaff that the man is suffering from overdose of longbeers. Others see him, and not a few stop to gaze at him in blank astonishment. A policeman on the beat, beaten by liquor, can be of no service to the 1 community. Tho sight of a drunken man on a Sunday afternoon, is most 1 offensive, and somehow whenever I patronise the precincts of tho City, I am annoyed by such scenes. There is, however, no Sunday trading, at any of our public houses, they are all respectable. Strange, very strange! THE TALE OKA COAT.

The Colony seems to be infested just now with a gang of petty thieves. The City has been raided at all points by the night-hawks, who have succeeded in scraping in a few shillings ami sundry wearing apparel. A friend of mine has had an unpleasant experience with theso übiquitous thieves; lie happens to work in a place much frequented luA the public, and one evening, wliSf about to leave for home, he fonim that his overcoat, a spanking new carcase-covering, had left the premises without notice, Tho police wore advised of tho missing friend, and the 'tecs promptly invaded tho domains of the pawn-brokers, hoping to discover the overcoat. The hours rolled into days, the days passed into weeks, and still there was no sign of the wanderer. All hope of again seeing that handsome overcoat was abandoned, and my friend resigned himself to his fate and his faded loft-off coat. Though hope had vanished, his desire to meet lijs overcoat did not diminish, every waterproof that came within sight wns critically oxamined, and I do believe he knows the colour and mako of more than 50 per cent, of tho overcoats in Wellington. Since tho memorable evening when bo lost his line raiment, he has attended almost every ul fmco gathering, and his persistency has at last been rewnrded. It was ut a football match, where ho was one of tho crowd, engaged, as usual, in eyeing the when suddenly looking in tho direcS tion of the goal posts, be espied hi long-looked-for garment, walking gingerly across the Held on' tho back of a man. To get alongside of the individual was the work of a few moments, a critical examination of the colour, etc., and the wearer was taxed as to tho proprietorship. " Fine coat ain't it, 1 bought it for 30s from a pawn-broker," " Yes" replied my friend, "It is a fine coat, but as it happens to bo the onestolen from mo you will be obliged to toll your story to the police." The coat is in durance vile, pending the negotiations of the three paities concerned | tho pawnbroker who • advanced 20s to tho thief; the man that bought it from the pawnbroker for 30s; and my friend from \v]ioft tho coat was stolen. Tho coat is in a delicate position, and I doubt whether tho concentrated wisdom of the Setldon Ministry could relieve it from its perilous predicainont, THE DimiREXCJi OK EAUS, Voltaire says: "The ear is the road to the heart," and wo must, believe it. Still there is a good deal of difference in ears; for the ears of our Sunday girl delicately shaped and dainty,' while tho follow that is" trying,to cut us out has the lugs of a donkey, Some ears are useful for hearing other people's business, while others again go on strike and refuse' to work. A deaf ear is responsible for a difference in the customs observed by the House of llopresentatiyes and the Leeislalative Council. In tho House tho Ministerial benches are on the right of the Speaker, but in the Council the position is reversed, an a Ministerial bejiolies are on the left of the Speaker. This difference was explained the other day, and is duo to a deaf ear. In the years long past, when tho Hon. Dr. Pollen was Colonial Secretary, the change came about. The Doctor was deaf in the left ear,and by permission the Ministoiial benches were changed from tho right of the Speaker to tho left, to accommodate the Jiearingcapacity • of the honorable gentleman, aud so it has remained over'since, •' A SUPERABUNDANCE OFSPAUKS, The Bank Bill has Caused no end ■ of worry during tho past week, ;The Premier and Colonial Treasurer | havo been particularly well badgered by the House, aud have been kept on tenter hooks,the wholo time, Both Houses have sat at all honrsj and members have fought and Wrangled - fired personalities : at each other, fad' 1 yarned the Ministerial pouls till they are worn thin,' Tty

attendants lmvo had a rasping tinio daucing attendance on inombors, catoring to their wants and existing without sleep. Tlio unfortunate pressmen hayo had a week of hard work, but tlioy look 110110 t-ho worse for doing thoir duty. Tlio Telegraph Department did a record day's work on Thursday, when ovor J MO words wero despatched by , tlio messages boing chiolly in connection with tlio Banking legislation. Tho newspapers were responsible for a good slice of this, aud the two banks interested in the Bill also used tlio wires freely. The day's takings at the Telegraph offices throughout the Colony on that memorable day must have been an excellent windfall for tho Treasury, the mx OK HELLS. There aro bells and bells; the sound of somo we enjoy, while of others we abhor, It depends upon * the time and the season whether wo are lacerated with joy, or crippled ■' with emotions bordering on insanity. Tho curfow bell established by William tho Conqueror has no terrors for us, but for our venerable ancestors it was quite a different matter, " Tho curlew tolls tlio knell of parting day," but that has nothing to do with us, we prefer to hear the dinner-bell, of all appeals 110110 more pleasant "Thau that all-softening, overpowering knell, kgfce tocsin ot the soul-tho dinner-boll," Wmn endure" evening bells" and "village bells," "cow bells" and " ball-room belles." We delight to " Hetr the mellow wedding bells,"

which announce th'o estactic rapture of two souls iu wedlock blended. The awfulness of tho lire-bell only startles us, and we press the button of the electric bells with equanimity; but who is there iu the universe thai can tolerate the ding-dong of the auction bell. Country people have no idea of what the city folk have to endure in (his respect. To thoroughly understand what is represented by the nuisance,oncneeds to be in Willis-street just before the auction sales of fruit begin. Bellmen are at the doors swinging their arms, and tho din of bells is deafening. Wretched bells! The man that invented auction bells could not have lived many hours. The city must tolerate the miisanco until some intrepid individual mangles a bellman and so puts a stop to the jingle of the bells. No Wellington would biting in an adverse on the contraiy, tho slayet would be looked up to as a benefactor. Auction bells, according to tho maudlin sentiments of some people indicate brisk business. This may be so, but the Chinamen who attend the fruit sales could be got together by a simpler and more humane method.

TRIFMXG WITH NOTES, The Proclamation milking the Bank of New Zealand notes legal tender,instead of allaying the feeling of insecurity in the public mind rather tended the other way. The women seemed most afraid of the flimsies, and those who happened to possess the notes of the unfortunate Bank, spent most of their time in shopping. The ladies played the old game of " ringing the changes" in a new way; trifling purchases were made and pound notes tendered in payment, and the unsuspecting found Bank of New Zealand notes accumulating and all tkeircoindisappearing. Tho notes could not be rwed as they were legal tender, but this did not disturb tile peace of mind of the traders. Some of the women tried to work off the notes on other Banks, that is to say, elforts were made by them to get gold from these Banks for the proclaimed notes, of course the game did not work. Belief came to-day to many timid women when they found it was possible to get from the Bank of New Zealand gold for its notes. THE MANIAC KliOM .MASTERTO.N. Where is Somcrvillo V In gaol. The doctors at tho trial gave Somerville the character of a maniac, it was useful in saving him from the gallows, but there its usefulness seems to have terminated. Somerville's abode is still the Terrace gaol, and the only means of escape from this seclusion is for the man to have an attack of insanity. But this time it will need to be insanity of the " right colour," if this can be managed, he will be passed on to a lunatic asylum, and if he recovers sanity while in the asylum, he must be discharged. He cannot be sent back to gaol to await another attack of niadbut lie must be let loose on society. The only chance for society to escape this terror, is for Somerville to remain in gaol, and so long as he shows no signs of insanity, there is not much fear of his getting away from Mr Garvcy's premises. In the interests of society may Somcvville. maintain his sanity to tho last. TWO I'EAS IX A POD. What is to be the finish of the banking crisis ? is asked by one set of people, whilo another set want to know whether the crisis is over, These are questions that cannot he answered with promptitude by any one. Tho banking legislation of the past week require confirmation from two bodies of shareholders. The shareholders of the Bank of New Zealand will, we may take it for granted acquiesce in the proposals, but will the shareholders of the Colonial Bank give their consent to tho salo of their busiuess. Last year when the scheme for amalgamation camo for discussion the Colonial Bank shareholders roundly denounced the proposals, and this year signs of dissatisfaction are already nsjuifesting themselves, Probably will be 6ome wrangling over the matter, but that nothing serious is anticipated, is evidenced by the fact that Colonial Bank shares have risen from 16s (id to 20s 6d, within the last two days. The fusion of the banks is a strong bull point for Colonial Batik shares and the market regards it as snob. When the two banks are comfortably settled like two peas in a pod, we are promised the millonium. Everything will go on 6inootl|ly and the rejuvenated Bank \ of New Zealand will make piles of profits and conserve to the' shareholders the goodwill of their busi. ness. One contingency ngainst this bright.future has been overlooked —no account has been taken as to tho competition of the other Banks. I believe this is a contingency that will liavo to bo reckoned with, • furthermore it is quite on the cards that a powerful English Bank will ho formed to take over the business of one of tho insiitutioiis now trading iiiJ&> Colony and extend operations was contemplated'when amalgamation suited the atmosphere last year, and is therefore not unlikely to be given effect to now. Tho rosy time predicted for the Bank of New Zealand will be found to havo lost its colour as the mouths roll on. ■ Let lis all hope that- we 'have heard the last of the ttottblft of "tho unfortunate 'Bank Wlioso name is so similar to that of . the Colopy,

I MTU PENCIL, PEN, AND PISTOL, Frederic Villiers, the famous War ' Artist, now lecturing iu Wellington, is what an Irishman would term " a fino liguro of a man." Ho is broadshouldered, robust, tall, and rather good-looking, with fine bronzed face, and a fierce moustache, whose pointed extremities take a sudden and upward curl of a most decided character. To add picturesque effect, Mr Villiers appears on the, platform in his campaigning equipment, a kind of tourist suit with greyish-brown Norfolk jacket, russet knickers, and plaid stockings, while on his arm is iiis Special Correspondent's badge, and elsowhero attached by belts and slings, a revolver, tield glasses, and water bottle. Apartfromtho undeiinablo interest which attaches to the personality of a man who has gone through such thrilling experiences as Mr Villiers lias encountered, his lecture—"War on a White Sheet "—presented just moderate attractions to me. The subject-matter was fair, and the pictures possossed a like moderate quality—some wero his own sketches, others were reproductions of illustrations he had contributed to" Black and White," the well-known London illustrated paper, and a fow were enlarged photographs, all shown by lime-light. Perhaps of the pictures shown on the first night at the Opera House, those by a Japanese artist were regarded with tho greatest curiosity. Besides other grotesque and extraordinary effects there wero to be seen, across several scenes depicting besieged fortressos, what appealed; to be telegraph wires—lines com-; mencing at the side of the pictine and going right across its surface, ■ sometimes apparently " passing' through various intervening objects, men and so forth. It required Mr! Villiers'explanation to remove tliej inconsistency and solve the mystery.! These series of lines across the pic-1 turcs wore not telegraph wires—they were the Japanese paintoi's| idea of art in the form of a llight of I bullots: the track of the missiles j was faithfully depicted, that was all.' As a speaker, Mr Villiers is clear, lluont, and impressive, but he hardly j can be characterised as eloquent. In manner he is dignified and some-1 what constrained; his lecture consc-1 quontly lacked animation. It would j also have stood a little more humour, j A certain measure of historical infor- 1 mation and solid fact must, of course, form the basis of any lecture such as Mr Villiers delivered, aud people would giumble if it were omitted, but, after all, it is the lighter and brighter incident which most gains tlio plaudits of a popular audience; and this is what should abound throughout, even where it is necessary to make the lecture slightly longer than tho rather short one Mr Villiers delivered on Friday night. A PEI'IIAYKD Mt'SICAL TASTE, Wellington seems to be gradually developing a vein of eccentricity in its music. This evening while passing a Church Bazaar I was electrified by hearing a powerful brass band strike up outside the door the most frisky circus music: it dashed madly into those high-pitched reckless airs that never fail to stir the soul of the small boy, and which almost incline even an elephant to do a step-dance. Thoun wonted strains speedily caused a crowd to assemble, aud no doubt the Bazaar did passing well. The other strange departure is in the selection of music for performance at a funeral. Tlioro is still followed the time-honoured custom of playing the corpse to the grave with thrilling and solemn compositions such as " The Dead March in Saul," and "Beethoven's Funeral March," and on the return journey, which is made in " quickstep," of reverting to music of a lighter style, But when, as I recently heard in Wellington a band come back from the Cemetery playing "Tho Man who Broke tho Banicat Monte Carlo," and on another occasion " Wliis't! jWhis't! Whis't! Here comes the Bogie Mftn," the incongruity becomes painfully accentuated, particularly so if the dear departed has been ono who " went it a bit." Such experiences arc apt to make tho relatives feel uncomfortable, not to say " creopy."