TOLD ON LAMBTON QUAY.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume XVI, Issue 5074, 11 July 1895, Page 2

TOLD ON LAMBTON QUAY.

[By The Ancient Mariner.]

And thus spake on that ancient man, The bright-eyed mariner."—Coleridge. Wellington, Tuesday.^ A LIMIT IN CRICKS. _ What is a brick P Webster says it is moulded clay, rectangular in fora, sun-dried, and burnt in a kiln. Bricks can trace back their history to the earliest times; the Assyrians and Babylonians knew all about them. Bricks haye other uses besides that for building purposes; call a man a brick and he feels sufficiently flattered to ask you to " namo it," and you may slake yonr thirst at his expenso. Poise half a brick in your hand, describe a semi-circle, and let it go at a tangent,and the ThomaW Cat that has been serenading you in the back yard will vanish over the fence. Bricks are very useful! and in Wellington they aro in great demand. Not that we aro suffering from a superabundance of cats; the bricks are in demand for legitimate building purposes. Business has been rather more brisk than usual in the building trade, owing to the number of brick warehouses and shops in course of construction, and (here has been in consequence Jfc sudden demand upon the brick-yat® which cannot be met. This is causing considerable inconvenience to contractors who have work in hand, while architects find a difficulty in obtaining tenders for new buildings, on account of the scarcity of bricks, The brickniakers are mostly men 111 comfortable circumstances, who in slack times prefer to pay off the hands, and give tlio machinery a rest, rather than prepare for any contingency like the present. There is a touch of fancy about the price of Wellington-made bricks, which for machine-pressed, cost £2 7s Gd per thousand, while in Auckland the quotation is £1 10s. The divergence in the figures, is likely to attract competition, and I am credibly informed, that advantage will probably be taken of fclio biick-famino, by an enterprising Aucklander, who con-

templates sending a ship-load to this market. One of the Wellington briok-makors has orders on hand for nearly three million bricks, so it is reported, and at 47s Gd per thous'Aj| there is a small fortune for 1 The Wairarapa brickyards may possibly see an opportunity of turning over a few pounds while this > scarcity lasts.

Philanthropic! people in the city are having a quite gay time with a crowd of importunate visitors, Every business man lias become, more or less, a charitable body, for thoro is no resisting the appeals of the " liard-up," The inveterate boozer is easily distinguishable from thoso really in distress, for he generally cadges just the sum necessary to command a pint of beer; the boozer never, by auy chance, leads you to think that be wants tho money for drink, but the colour of his proboscis, and tho tap-room odour of bis breath, unmistakeably disclose his habits. The unfortunate out-of-work people, who scorn the idea of charity, are driven to the 1.0. U. expedient, and the number of there notes of hand, would make a giß pile. As matters now stand, ™ would appear hopeless to oxpect any great redemption of these debts, hut with a revival in business, and with more work for thopeoplo, there is no doubt a fair per centage of the i.O.U.'s will be paid. An enterprising individual, with a little spare cash, could speculato in " paper-kites,' 1 with every probability of makiug money. 1.0.U.'s aro at a very heavy discount, and may be purchased almost overywboro in Wellington.

: THE KBWS-BOY'S TRIALS. : Tlio life of n nows-boyis appai- • cnlly aliappy one. With an armful ; of papers, and lungs and legs in full • play lie turns over the pennies and ■ makes a small profit, The domain i of the nows-boy has been invaded of • late by the news-girl, who shows a : wonderful aptitude for tho business, It is rather a pitiable sight than otherwise to see Miss Short-frocks vending newspapers in the streets, but" needs must," and tho girls ate within their rights in endeavouring to earn a few coppers that •<& always welcome at home, Compjp. tion, however, in not tho only trouble the news-boy has to ondurc. Bad debts are what dislocate his temper and spoil bis character. These urchins are somewhat confiding and are apt to give credit, where credit should not be given, and suffer for their folly. One individual well on in years/who plays tho humblo part of selling newspapers boasts of a very large number of clients, and bis bad and doubtful debts total up about £35. This is extremely bard 011 the poor fellow, who is obliged to obtain credit from bis newspaper proprietors, and his venture in this direction is something like £2O. Some people do not possess a spark of honesty; they will take a newspaper day after day quite oblivious of tbe fact that it costs money to produce, and that hundreds of persons are dependent upon tbe ' penny at which it is sold. I may say that tho unfortunate individual above referred to has a rather aristocratic " round."

.WUh" S UOTXCK. With the above as a title, mmA our modem writers could spin ififc a three volumo novel, especially if thoy sought for the material in the lobby of the Parliamentary Building. " Jock's Defence " consists of two turnips and a potato, that have been uprooted with a great deal of trouble, and now lie in loving juxtaposition in the lobby of the House. As the story books have it, once upon a time Jock bought a small estate, paying a stiff price for it, and drawing the money from the Public Treasury. The circumuj stances surrounding the purchase were just a little peculiar, and Jock was accused of succouring the tweedy and pandering to the party dry-rot. Tho estate is now well-known to fame as " Pomohaka," ■ Since Jock bought the land ho has parcelled it > out to a number of Crown tenants, • and a Pomohaka peasant has presented the Minister of Lands with tho first fruits of the soil; they are prodigies, and lick the " berry" competitors into cIH hats. The turnips together weigh 251b, and the Hon. John McKenzie is as proud of them as he would be .of twin children if he had them. ; The potato is an orphan weighing 4jlbs and gives - the Miuister of Lands extreme pleasure by its perfect shape:and its suitability for. being coupled with a' herrra' to delight the appetite of a hungry Highland man. Jock,main-. tains that Pomahaka is well worth the money paid for it, if such monsters can be produced by its soil,

It is just within the bounds ii possibility tlmt tho Minister of Lands may find the two turnips and potato serviceable should he bo again placed in such a position as that associated with a certain picklobottle. fMICORBES AND MOSEY. Paper-monoy has an unaccountable fascination for some people, and amongst other clover men must be reckoned Mr B. A. Haggen, of Woodvillo. Mr Haggen came to Wellington to spout water and rightly uphold the Temperance ■ cause, and ho lias seized upon tho opportunity of unbuttoning his brain to us on the money question. Mr Haggen wants paper money, gold money and silver monoy, and in his own inimitable way, he shows tho wonderfully good effects his proposals would have upon tho Colony. I hopoMr Haggen may succeed, but in tho meantime a service could be dono tho Colony by anyone who cares for the job, by advocating cleanliness in bank-notes. The dirty, lilthy, microbe distributing scraps of paper that pass from hand to hand and do duty for money, are a perfect disgrace. Some steps should bo taken to compel tho banks to cancel tho notes that show any appearance of age and dirt. It may be more inexpensive, but it certainly would hotter for the community. One individual of my acquaintance, says lie invariably tears a dirty banknote, very nearly in two, and .so compels the issuing bank to cancel it; there are others who practice this radical mode of treatment, and their joint efforts must result in the cancellation of thousands of notes in the year, lam sorry for the Bank clerks, whoso duty it is, to handle those dirty scraps of paper, and I am assured that in one monetary institution, carbolic powder is largely used, to sprinkle the strong-room in which tho notes are stored. Mr Haggen might possibly bo inclined to include this phase of the banknote, in his next lecture. LONGEVITY IN CATS. Cats have nine lives, and in consequence, it requires a mighty effort to kill a cat, Tho Lottery Bill of the Bank of New Zealand Estates Company has survived the onslaught of the Private Bills Committee, for the Joint Committee on jtoiocal Bills recommends that the Orders bo suspended to allow this precious " cat" to figure in the House, Unless the country takes prompt steps and strengthens the position of members opposed to the mcasuro by flooding Parliament with petitions, there is danger of this Bill passing into law; it has some warm supporters in the House, and is unofficially backed by the Government who will rush it through if there is the smallest possible chance of doing so, It may be interesting to the people of Masterton to know that their member is "sound on the goose," and will oppose the measure at every stage,

TRICKS OF THE TRADE. The dull times have sharpened the wits of the tradesmen who are driven to all kinds of expedients to get in tho money due to them, Housekeeping is made comparatively easy in the City by the system of timepayments ; almost anything can be by this method, more ■particularly furniture, and it is said 'of a well-dressed couple that they secured a van-load of excellent furniture, agreeing to pay a trilling sum per month by way of purchase. Their ideas of time were, to say the least of it, a little peculiar, but nevertheless they managed to pay half tho money due in the time agreed upon for the payment of the whole, when they again called upon the dealer for a second cart-load of goods. The request was promptly refused, but after a little negotiation a settlement was arrived at; the couple agreed to pay the balance due on the first lot before the delivery of the second, and in due course the van well-laden tvitb artistic furniture pulled up at the door. One man went into the house with the bill for the unpaid account while another sac on the box-seat apparently awaiting further instructions. The couple paid the amount due on the first account cheerfully, and no sooner

did the receiver show his nose outside tho door and give the preconAcorted signal, than the horses in the received sorao telling strokes on tender spots that woke them up with a start and sent tlieni scudding back to the shop. The trick worked splendidly, the tradesmau got paid in full and the impecunious couple were prevented from contracting another debt. The public mind is agitated oyer another trick, but the detail of this are too serious to relate, and as the matter is likely to bo ventilated in Parliament .shortly the curiosity of your readers will not suffer through being boltled-up until then,

INTERMITTENT. The labour settlers on the Alfred-ton-Weber road, have expressed their dissatisfaction with the intermittent system of work. Their complaint is that they cannot earn enough to keep thorn going, and this is to some extent borne out by tho Chairman of the Benevolent Tinstees, who stated the other day, that tho Benevolent Institution was obliged to support tho wife of nearly every married man who was sent up the country on tho Government ■road works. The plan upon which *rthc Government is manufacturing yeoman settlers out of the unemployed, is this i—Single men must spend one-third of their time at roadwork, and the balance in improving their land; married men, whose families are not residing with them, divide their time equally between' the road and their section; married men, whose families are with them, are the most favoured as they can Bpend two thirds of their time at wages-earning; those who have not taken up laud are restricted to 40 x houre road-work per week. The country is boiug settled, but the Benevolent people And tho bulk of the money for the purpose. PENNY A PINT, This is not tho price of beer, but of soup. Two great history-making ' events will be associated to-morrow, ontheono hand there will be a great

demonstration inaugurated by the National" party, to welcome the ■Colonial Treasurer, and in the evening over £l5O will be squandered in , viands, wines, and walnuts, to givo eclat to the occasion, on the other hand, that symbol ofaCity'spoverty —a soup-kitchen—will bo opened. At a penny a pint, tho poor of tho city will bo able to enjoy good appetising soup. Is it the irony of fate that two events of such widely

different characters should occur on the Bame day ? At the Ward banquet, patriotic speeches recording the glory of the country and the wonderfully great services of the Colonial Treasurer will be poured

out like wine from a decanter, but tho speech-makers could nover feel comfortable with the thought that in another part of tho city the charitably inclined have found it necessary to establish a soup-kitchen to relieve tho pitiable starvation that exists. It is a bad score for the National Party, | and one that cun nevor be wiped out j with flatulent post-prandial oratory.

Wellington, Wednesday. FLUNKEYS TO I'HE TROUT. The Colonial Treasurer arrived to-day (Wednesday), and met with a yery hearty reception from tho big nobs of the Liberal Party, and a sycophantic homage from tho lesser lights, Tho great mass of people that assembled to see the landing were actuated by that curiosity whioh possesses a crowd anxious to see something, if only a dog light. As far as tho public were concerned, the reception was as flat us tho proverbial pancake; they woie not in it | they wei'o present to see the fun. The cheering was feeble, and was strictly tho lip-service of the flunkeys; the outsiders seemed to bo suffering from tetanus, and nothing would induce them to open their mouths in thanksgiving cheers; yet this frosty reception inspired the Hon, Josoph, with an intense love of country, Ho told us so! While tho address was being read, the irroverent mob would not keep quiet, which made; I Premier Dick indulge in some very 'unbecoming antics. Poor Ward swelled himself out to suit Ul9 occasion and carried his bell-topper in the latest London fashion. Mrs Ward looked charming and proud, not the air of arrogance, but the natural pride of a wife in her husband.

The address was loug-wiuded, and j those who concocted it must have | Bconvcil a butter-keg for their j material. Sii Walter Duller read; the address in a clear voice and ; enriched it with some very appropriate theatrical-like gestures, probably rehearsed before the lookingglass. The bobbies were conspicuous, so were the übiquitous little! boys, and a few impertinent representatives of the cauino tribe. The Party was not largely represented, but those present were a motloy' gang ; prospective Legislative Coun- j cillors, and co-operative labourers,! job-seeking unemployed, and snugly-1 provided-for, right-colour Liberals.' The whole Party was radiant, some of the members were bubbling orcr with patriotism, and the sweat of loyalty had to be mopped up by several of them, The procession! Gieat Jupiter! wonld scarcely do credit to a third-rate circus. Two j bands, two banners, two waggons of j the Fire Brigade, and a floral display on a lorry were some of the main features of the show. A sorry spectacle it must have been to the hard-working promoters. Tho trades and labour bodies were conspicuous by their absence. The tailors made a show with their banner in the hope possibly that the Government would establish state tailoring shops, The bakers (there were a. dozen of them on the trade count) were also present with a banner as a peace offering to the Government not to be i to hard with the "Bread Bill " in tho i House. The decorated lorry looked ■ very nice with fern palms, | but this could have becitj improved with an addition of bird life. A few kakas perched about, j would have suggested not only bushlife, but a certain minstrelsy that has delighted Lambton-quay for days past. There was areduudanco of carriages, of all shapes and colours, but there was very little in them, the little being principally "little folk," glad to got a cheap ride. The crowd, the frosty, icy, freezing, frigid, glacial, boreal, arctic crowd, looked on, but never cheered, never gave any demonstration of welcome. In tho streets there were comparatively a few sight-seers, but they were totally indifferent; the only people that showed any interest in the affair, were the unfortunate parents of young Now Zealanders who needed propping up 011 shoulders and other vantage places, to enable them to gratify their littlo "peepers," and heartho bands play. Taken altogether, the reception of the Hon. J. G. Ward, is the most grotesque public exhibition I have witnessed in the Empire City, and would havo been better left alone or differently managed. One thing, however, is apparent, and that is that the Scddon Government have no following in Wellington worthy of the name. If Wednesday's exhibition is an indication of popular feeling, then we may safely say that at the next general election we shall be " dead agin the Government."