TOLD ON LAMBTON QUAY.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume XVI, Issue 5056, 20 June 1895, Page 3

TOLD ON LAMBTON QUAY.

[By Tiie Ancient Mariner,]

thus spake on that ancient man, ®T/ie bright-eyed mariner,'"—Coleridge,

Wellington, Juno 1?.

, A MODEL DEBT-COLLECTOR. With the prevailing hard times it is impossible for business peoplo to ayoid contracting bad and doubtful debts, and tho number of debt cases • that are heard weekly by our S.JI,, seems to be growing. Each week a ivbolo batch of unfortunates are 'marshalled before His Worship, and his decisions are duly recorded in the City press. Taking the case into Court is unusually tho last resort after all other means of liquidation have failed, one of tlieso intermediary steps is to try tho services of a debt-collector. Just now tho City appears to be swarming with them. So many of tho out-of-works, no doubt defaulters, being glad of tho job. Homo firms «crtake this class of work in tho ilar course of business, but they too find it necessary under the pressure of work to engage casual hands. It is & precarious means of obtaining a living and very few are making "their salt out of it. It requires special qualifications to be asuccessful debt-collector, and a retailer discussing the subject with .me recently assured mo that I the right class of man can make

money. The king of debt-collectors, who fortunately, or unfortunately for those interested, has now left the City, was the wonder of his class. His success was duo mainly to his personal appearance, though he was not lacking in intelligence, and the cunning necessary for the work. A ; blear in eyes, a nose of the fifth-of-November type, with the tip more tljfcfaintly touched with a cardinal hiqp mouth suggestive of an annual lease, clothes suspiciously 'shabby, nnd boots that have lost much of their usefulness as beetle-crushers, a slouching gait, and a malodorous reputation, when bundled together make a formidable and successful „ debt-.collector. The king collector was once set upon a youth, whose uxoriousness made him a debtor to a City jeweller. Tho gay youngster boarded at a fashionable house on The Terrace, and one morning the boss collector turned up at the place before the victim of debts was out of bed. After a little interchange of messages through the" slavey," the collector left with instructions to call the next day. As lie expected, tho collector fouud the bird not at home when ho called the second time, but the following day lie was thcro at sunrise, and so effectually and thoroughly did he carry out his work, that his quarry could not go down to office that day. Crammers, fibs, lies, threats, jeers, sneers and testing beers were of 110 avail; in dcw'atiou then the young man seJUtl his hat, rushed down to the jeweller's, and implored him to be mercifnl and recall the obnoxious collector. The debt-collector was taken off the job, and the debt is still unpaid.

POLITICAL I'ICKIXGS. Members of Parliament, and their camp followers are beginning to arrive, and by fclie time these few lines are in print, Parliament will be opened, At the moment there are political rumours of all kinds, but they are tied up in such a mass that it is difficult to get hold of the right _ thread of any one of them. Lotteries, loans, legislators, lackeys and lickspittles are bunched together in one confounded mass that it

becomes a hard task to spot the „ right thing. A lottery for the Bank of Now Zealand is certain to be one measure of the session, Losl of the order gigantic are mentioned, and not unlikely will form a very thick plank of the Ministerial platform. That new Legislators will be appointed, is , generally regarded as a certainty, and as usual, things that would be appropriate in a museum, are freely talked of as being the prospective Legislative Councillors. Mr Arthur Warburton, Managing Director of the New Zealand Times, is alleged to be the Wellington nominee, and a what the Empire City has done to be treated thus, not one of the sages of Lambton Quay can tell. Mr Warburton is no doubt a very estimable man in private life, but he can show no public record, if we except buzzing round the City in the interests of the Ward Reception Committee, and the Thousand Guinea Tribute to Mrs Seddon. Mr Warburton himself is dubious as to his wospects, and has jocularly offcK to sell his chance for half-a-crown, Notwithstanding this little bit of fooling, Mr Warburton will get there just the same. He has played his trump cards well, and Seddon can scarcely pass him over. Wellington may console itself with the fact that the City nominee, if he fails in all else, will make an

industrious Ministerial lackey, always " voting at his party's call, and never thinking of himself at all." It is rumoured that the reccntly-acquiied relative of a Minister of tho Crown, stands a fair chauce of getting a seat iu the Upper House,

it won't gee. We dote on Sunday concerts in ' this great City, particularly if thoy are of the "No 'klection" sciies. Our mutual friend Gee, who effervesced at tho Theatre Royal, Masterton, on that memorable Sunday night, warbled to us last Sunday at tho OpeiaHonse. Gee had learned a trick or two since firing off at Mastertei, and was not to be caught naffig a second time, and his plan of raking in the silver was most effective, dangerously near the line of illegality, and confoundedly irritating. The plate was popped under your nose, while a placard in front blazed with the words, " Visitors here are expected to pay 25," and 2s had to be '• paid" or out yon go," Crowds came to the Opera House misled by a guileless advertisement, and were confronted with that wretched plate, and insolent placard, and doomod to

well known that no charge can legally be made at these Sunday concerts, bat" we'll now take up a collection," is within the four corners of the law. A clear ruling on the point waß recently given by a Victorian judge, who holds that subscriptions solicited after the audience is seated is a. "collection," but any other means of extracting mo'tey \ is equivalent to making a charge and contrary to the spirit of the law. A repetition of Gee's plan won't gee in ibis City again, and Sunday-concert promoters must strike out in a new H# ■W A FAT INCOME. * The City Council is not credited with any superfine intelligence, on the contrary, anything that this corporate body- takes in band,

gonorally oraorges bald-headed aud more or less disfigured, bat now nnd again' this respectable Council finishes up with a flourish. JThere is on tho Reclaimed Land a small fi'iangular piece of ground opposite to Messrs Sargood, Son, and Ewen's handsome premises, which the Council has let on buildiug leases, and upon which bricks and mortar will soon be piled up. When tho new buildings are erected and tho fortunate owners pay up their rents and rates, the City Council will scoop in an annual income close upon £5,000 which is, taking it all round, as rich a yield as is being obtained from some of the gold mines of Auckland. If the Councillors know how to spend this money, we may reasonably liopo to see our streets in better condition than lias been the case for many years past.

ELECTRICITY IN CASE Perhaps it may not bo generally known to your readers, that on tho Wellington - Eketahuna railway electricity is put to a special use. This is a development of recent date, and a very useful thing it has proved on more than one occasion. On the incline brake van, there is fixed an ordinary telephone, to which is attached a coil of a hundred yards of wire. At tho other end of tho wire there is a hooked stick of about a yard in length, with a spiral arrangement at one end, to which other sticks can be .screwed when needed, In tho case of an accident, all that the guard has to do, is to bang the hooked stick on to the ordinary telephone wire alongside the line. If he cannot reach tho wire with one stick, he can screw on additions, and onco he gets the hook on to the line, he has a complete telephoue service, aud can ring up Wellington, Cross' Creek, or the Summit, as the case may he, On a recent occasion, when the train met with an accident on j the incline, the Wellington office! knew all about it within eight j minutes of the time of its occurrence. I Under the old system, someone! would have been obliged to walk to ] the nearest station, to give infornia-1 tion, and if the mishap happened to! be a,serious one, much valuable time! was thus lost. The electric messenger j obviates all this, and makes prompt-; ncss a possibility. The railway! oflicials are said to be well pleased j with the railway telephone, and; thoroughly appreciate its usefulness, j YANKEE "IiAIL WAY " MEN. 1

That American concern known as the Transportation Commission, the members of which were recently in Wellington, write " railway" as given above. Major Pangborn, (1 am assured that his temperament does not correspond with his sorrowful name) the President of the Commission, spoke eulogistically of onr lailway system. According to this authority, wc have a very fine system considering the time it has been in operation, and and the people were well served with trains. From a commercial point of view Major Pangborn thinks it would have been better to have limited tho main line to a shorter mileage. Of course he looks at the question as most Yankee's would, who expect to see a fair return for capita 1 expended, but our railways have been built mainly as an aid to colonisation and not for direct profit. Major Pangborn who had met nearly the whole of the Premiers in the Colonies lias a very high opinion of our very own banquet cadger. Ho was quite charmed with Sedrlon and thinks him a particularly strong man, who holds very decided opinions and who has the courage of his convictions. This unsolicited testimonial ought to be good enough for anyone,and lam sure it only requites to be known amongst the atoms of the great Liberal Party, to cause a free llow of guineas to that Thousand Guinea Tribute.

"VOCTEM, IT XICEI.V I " My experiences arc not always of a kind that 1 care to make public,bnt a recent advunture of mine seems to me to bo worth relating, 1 was! coming down Customhouse Quay, from the direction of the Railway Wharf, when I noticed a middleaged couple gazing curiously at the main entrance of the Government Life Insurance Building They were apparently in some doubt, and as I approached them I heard the woman say," Ask this gentleman!" I was promptly accosted with "Begorra Sur, I'm aftlier beggin' ycr pardin, but is this here the 'ospital." I must confess I was staggered by the question, for the Government Insurance building is one of the most modern of our brick edilices, and almost the principal "show" building in the City; to have it mistaken for a hospital was incredible, and my blood began to boil. I replied as quickly as I could, "No, this is not the Hospital, but the Government Life Insurance Building" The wretched country bumpkin declined to believe me, and snapped out, '"Begorra, thin, ycr tell it nicely," then pointing to the tile-adorned vestibule,added "Whindidyezever see siclt tiles outside a 'ospital, In the 'Ould Coutliry, every 'ospital's like thiin," I left him to settle tho matter as best lie could, for I had no desire to be drawn into a useless, barney. Reflecting on the incident later on, and after taking another look at the place I am inclined to agree 'with my Hibernian tormentor, that the vestibule of the Government Life Insurance Building, is suspiciously like the ward of a hospital. Tho brawny carbolic acid appearance of Hid tile decoration, makes you .almost fancy you smelt the odour of that powerful disinfectant, which is a peculiar feature of most hospitals.

STOXE BUItDIXO. " Thorndou" takes me to iaskfor having overlooked the edifice owned by the Equitable Building Society, when referring to stone buildings. " Thorndon" is quite right, but the building ho refers to has more the appearanco of cement tlmu good Oamaru stone. 1 cannot believe that the quality of stone in this particular building is of the best, and I am iuformedon good authority that the mauager of one of the quarrying companies of Oamaru has offered to supply gratis all the stono necessary for replacing the front of the building if the Building Society will incur the expense of pulling down and re-erecting the face wall. He has made this offer because he considers tho present wall by no means a good advertisement for Oamaru stone,