Page 4 Advertisements Column 3

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume XII, Issue 3990, 16 December 1891, Page 4

PASSING NOTES From the Otago Witness and Daily Timss with which iB incorporated the Southern Mercury, Thursday October 29,1891.) Tima was whena successful brewery pos sessed the potentialities of wealth beyond the dreams of avarice—teste Dr Johnson — and the rise of the Beerage, as impinging on the Peerage, goes farto prove his perspicacity. But his horizon was limited after all. Messrs Ja io and Adams didn't live in his time, and sb a consequence Prohibition is not fuily defined in his dictionary. Furthermore (and this is what lam steadily leading up to) he knew nothing of the potentialities of the pill and the patent medicine. It may be that in his day mankind possessed a liver. But the presumption is that if they did they didn't know it (happy .people that they were), for Hollowaj s pills, Warner's safe cure, Mother Seigel's Syrup, and last, but not l»ast, .the Rev. Mother Mary Joseph Aubert's remedies, all belong to a later age. Indeed, the Rev. Mother Aubert's remedies are a loc*l product, and are only now for the fl st time being offered to suffering humanity at per bottle, as I perceive from an advertisement covering more than half a column of the newspapers. No less a personage than Archbishop Redwood of Wellington formally introduces her, and solemnly certifies to the efficacy of her medicines, though not I chasitably hope, to the the quality of her English. : Nowadays everybody has a liver to his cost, and as a consequence the potentialities of patent medicines are practically limitless. It is to the credit of Archbishop Redwood, then, and the profit of his church, that he has been the first to avail himself of this pregnant fact by starting the sale of the Rev Mother Aubert's Remedies. You see, Catholics have ailments as well as their heretical neighbors ; and no good Catholic, however bad his liver or his stomach, will hesitate to patronise these Remedies, consecrated as they are by a distinct archepiscopal puff. And as the net gains go to the Church the advantages are obvious. If only the diseases of the faithful be copious enough, and the sale of the medicines be wide enough, Gipsy encampments may become superfluous and the Catholic vote cease to be a difficulty. That the other denominations will follow suit is only to be expected, and we may soon look for a Methodist mixture, a Presbyterian plaster, and so forth, each vaunted and vouched for by the pastor of the church in whose interest the medicament is vended. Who knows but that in this way we may come to be delivered from the collection, the bazar, and all the pecuniary ills that ecclesiastical flesh is heir to! CIVIB. N.B.—The proprietor of the Aubert Remedies is not responsible for the composition of the above as it is an exact reproduction: The proprietor of the Aubert Remedies wishes to draw the attention of the public to two long extracts published by ' Civis ' under passing notes in the Otago Witness, 29th October, 1891. Of couise every one with judgment will discern that there is a reason for an effusion of this kind, and it is probably as well that the public should know. The proprietor of the Mother Mary Joseph Aubert Remedies was in Dunedin a few days before this great effort from the pen of "Civis" was created, and entered into a contract with the Otago Evening Star foi advertising, and also wished to do so with the Otago Daily Times, but the managers of the latter, evidently thinking he knew nothing about advertising and how it could be done, asked him a prohibitive price, and in consequence his 'ads' have not appeared in that paper. Now as to the facts connected with these be known: His Grace the Archbishop had nothing whatever to do with the starting of their sale, but as it is against the rules of the Church to enter into any engagements without previously having the permission of their head, this was asked for, and as it was seen that a benefit would be conferred upon suffering humanity, it was readily granted. Now, every person has a distinct right in his or her private capacity to give a testimonial if they so choose, more particularly when sickness can be averted or cured by attention being drawn to the fact by the words of public men, and who, as a rule, are careful that their reputation shall not suffer by so doing, thereby proving the value of such a testimonial.— [ADVT.] .

A NEW DEPARTURE SEVENTY-FIVE GUINEA PIANO FOR JNOTHING' Desirous to encourage and develop the faculty for Music, so apparent in the rising generation of this colony, SCOULLAR &CHISUOLM Have determined to GIVE AWAY a first-class instrument worth Seventyfive Guineas ABSOLUTELY FOK NOTHING The Conditions are as Follows : All purchasers of a Piano at our Warehouse within the next Twelve Months will receive a numbered card, a counterpart of which will be kept and safelv filed On the 22nd day of August, lfc92, the gentlemen named hereunder will deter mine, by ballot, in the presence of the purchasers, to which of them the Piano shall be given. 1 If the foitunate party has previously purchased a Piano at, say, £SO, he may exchange it for one at ±78155, or he can have the balance in cash, and whatever he has paid upon his instrument will be refunded, or if he has bought a Piano at a higher price than that to be given away the Seventy-five guineas will be dp ducted from the purchase money theraof. We have in stock and oa order for our Wellington Branch One Hundred jnd Fifteen Pianbs. Purchasers therefore can fcel assured of the must ample choice in the selection of an instrument, and at tho best value OBTAINABLE. The following gentlemen have very kindly consented to act as the Committee to superintend and carry out the ballot, viz :—Mr F. W. Haybittle, Auctioneer ; Mr William U. Ghatfield, Architect; and Mr J. C. M'Kerrow, Stock and Station Agent. SCOULLAR & CHISHOLM, Lamb ton Quay, Wellington. ■ E V E K FAIL Canst minister to mind diseased ? Ask d William Shakesphere lonj? ago Twas left for Woods, of Cuba street, To answer otherwise than "No.' For brains, reuralgia—rack'd, or dulled By throbbing ache—are no wise sane, Yet Wood's famous " Never Fail " Will from them drive away all pain. The nectar that the gods of old So freely and so deeply quaffed, They qualified with " Never Fail " And they at headaches simply laughed. 'Tis but by morals here below That fiery alcohol's endured, And then they have recoursa to Woods To get the morning headache cured Of woman " in our hearts of ease " You've heard the poet tell the tale, ' Uncertain, coy, and hard to please " The lines by now are somewhat stale— But woman's ministrations fond In modern days will not avail For brows with pain and anguish wrung As prompt as Wood's ''Never Fail." Just think of it! How great the boon 1 Ye city ladies, jaded, worn 1 Ye offce toilers, dazed with pain, And wishing that you ne'er been born, A simple SIXPENCE spent with Woods, One single draught of " Never Fail," And life will be a joy once more, Your headaches a forgotten tale, W. E. WOODS, Co-Operative Drug Store, Cuba-street, Wellington, NOTE :—" Never Fail," the marvellous remedy for headache and neuralgia may be obtained from Mr T. G. Mason, Chemist, Masterton. PBICE, 2/0 a bottle. It is a certain cure. D. W. VIBTUJfI & CO. Habboest., Wellington. ELOUB, Grain, Produce and General Commiseioi. Merchants. '■ AGENCIES—™* ATLAS HOLLER FLOUR MILLS TIMARU. R, FURNESS* , AUCKLAND It MS.