TINUI NOTES.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume XII, Issue 3897, 27 August 1891, Page 2

TINUI NOTES.

( From Our Own, Correspondent.) . A serio-comic tragedy was enacted here the other day. Act 1. A tourist (a rare avis in these parts) ploughed bis weary way through the Whareama " slough of despond," yclept a County road, into the somnambulistic township of Tinui; he was a tall slab of a tourist; he lcoked as if a breath of wind would blow him away; his black clothes nnd tile were suggestive of I Little Bourke-street; he had theap[pearanceof having tun to seed, and his trousers hud sunk considerably above his ankles. As he ploughed along the main thoroughfare the bystanders eyed him askance. One wag remarked that he appeared to be a celestial being, as, though his legs were in the mil e, his head was in the clouds! On he went, defying the mud, which bad accumulated above his trouser knees. In his right hand he carried, with a jaunting air, a large polished walking-stick, while bib left hand was spread over the lower part of his vest, suggestive of his having recently partaken of a hearty meal, or of a glass of the local barbed-wire whiskey. He put up at one of the boarding houses, and as be represented himself hard-up, was given his bed and breakfast. At mid-day he presented himself at the Tinui Hotel, and had a dinner given him; in the evening he called on Mr W.Taylor, who invited him to tea and toast. During the course of his perigrinations, the tourist ascertained the duties of the local constable, the names of the Tinui Justices of the Peace, how they disposed of their prisoners, the cost of Mr Taylor's plate glass front, and many other items of useful information ; probably with the idea of becoming travelling correspondent to the Wairarapa Daily. He informed Mr Taylor that he was only seven weeks in New Zealand, he had been an agent for a company of singers, or for the Singer Company, and that some mysterious occurrence had been the cause of his downfall. Probably it was through a too frequent elevaion of the little finger of hisright hand. After hinting that the store was shut and he could not procure any tobacco, Mr Taylor generously presented him with a whole plug of "Juno," with which he was taking his leave, when a footstep was heard, and a burly figure wasdiscernable in the gloaming and a melody floated in the air, of " Tarantara, Tarantara." Quick as lightning the tourist uplifted bis big polished walking stick, and crash, crash, crash, the beautiful plate glass front, the pride of Tinui, was an utter ruin! A moment after, and a pair of bracelets gleamed on the wrists of the tourist, and as he dissappeared off the stage with the buny figure at his | side, the refrain struck the ears of the terrified audience, "We run them in, we ran them in." Act 2. The prisoner, who answered to the name of Weippert, made his obeisance before the presiding justices next morning, and on the information being read over to him pleaded "guilty." Up rose the burly Constable, "Your Worships, a policeman's life is not a happy one. I can find no previous convictions against the prisoner, but he is in that state of uncleanness usually applied to a " bandicot." He has spoilt my blankets, and I would ask your Worships to inflict the heaviest sentence allowed by law." Verdict: Two months' hard labour in Wellington g«ol. The bell rang, the curtain fell, and the constable wished his prisoner in—hades.