A Husband and Father's Troubles

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume XI, Issue 3616, 17 September 1890, Page 2

A Husband and Father's Troubles

" "Nurse," whispered young •£[?' j5 'CHlslammer as he put his head gently j into tho sick room two hours after . the-baby was. born, "how ia my , lovoy dovey, my' darling wife?" > The nurse was a bettle-browed, practical old army gave him a two hundred which, landed him ia the hall, she whispered," Get out o' bore, and go; your wife's all right. Lemme bo." Uo felt very much discouraged, for it was Mr Gilslammer'B Crst baby, and I ho hadn't Been it, He didn't evon' know if it was a boy, or both, or two j boysandonegirl,oragirland»l»y, , or whether it was Siamese twins and 1 things. So ho went into the dining ■ t room and opened the cellaret.in the. } sideboard and got outsido of three . fingers of whiskey, Then ho felt \ better. "My poor dear wife," ha 3 murmured, "how badly she must ,';, 3 feel. I think I'll take up some cold ham and a glass of stout,", and thus i armed Mr Gilslammer walked boldly ' ( up to the bedroom door. nurse, here is some nice ham and nice porter for lire G. If you «on'i <j let me see her, at least give her this r with my love and tell her that her e own duoky is just breaking his heart, j and will cook her a tender loin steak by-and-bye with his own hands, r bring her some fresh shrimps,"- "I'll * • ducky you," hissed Mrs Guffinacky, . 6 if jbu don't keep away from B here," and she gently' but firmly 0 landed him against the bannister,

porter and all, and as she cloßod tho ! ' door sho hissed through her teeth : • 'go 1" " This is rathor a, atrango position for a husband and father," ].\ he soliloquised. "I think Mrs l' Guffinaoky is an inconsiderate j heathen," But bent on getting oven, j Mr Qilslammer wont, to a neighbor- !•> ing restaurant and bought a crab and jStjL mixed a salad, Ho then marched :o!) boldly upstairs and without knooking ■| at the door undo his way into tho ''-.[ bedroom and just got as far as " Darling, hubby did bring oo somo," ;\' when a violent car i'v persuaded him to got otPand fall c down fourteen stairs, and a femalo \; bass voioe whispered "goI" Mr p; Qilslammer felt thoroughly humbled, •'v hut at night before ho went to bod he [ took ofl his shoes and tenderly laid an offering of pioklcd ells, sauerkraut, y _. and bottled bcor at his wife's door, (ft' and as he kid down on the parlor :. sofa, with a blanket ovor him and a j footstool for a pillow, ho corafortod himself by saying, "I know my ' sweety is fond of oils, and if that : female elephant finds them there she'll j give 'em to her when sbo gots goodhnmourtd."—Bury St Edmunds,