BREVITIES.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume XI, Issue 3478, 7 April 1890, Page 2

BREVITIES.

i Football! . ■ Dance to-night! Captain Edwin good enough to hold on to a big rain' till after the holidays. " Czar of all the Russias again in jrpubl8 4v .;.. ■■'...-, • "■ EMmpMffiWellpoiilargely attended. .;■; ■' •? v r s •■'• The bold twonly-thr'oe of Master ton'' helped to; swell the number..; •■. Dr Pejcrs and party, said to havo been killed and eaten by-the. wicked, African -in Deoetnbor , 'last, ? repprtedi. still alive, A girl of- seven'died fromdeliriaffl ,- tremens recently in London,;//-/'™^ Bismarck .has''fought over thirty ' duels. rii'i'J/': '\p 'l:-.\j ":'i '?; English Companies aro' ; buyihg*p' breweries in' Bohemia, and printing offices in Vionna; -

British soldiers when. marching take 88 steps a mipute.', '.' : ' ■'.';'' Total blindness is on tlio decrease. It is said that a pair of boots was recently made tyeleotricity. The population of St Petersburg is decreasing. - .HI j ], /. ■) li W

A .second-hand press-Hugging a widow. '•■ ' : ' ■•■•

The: work, of excavating, a ship canal- from Brussels to Antwerp has been begun, ._ , ' A milkman never goes to a dance in pumps, j Top suggestive. jpkej, CaWyou see the cream'df it.? :

Nothing so takes the conceit out of iho average man as to drdor his paper to and then see the paper goipg along splendidly without bim.

..Did it ever occur to you'that a horse's fore legs travel faster than his hind ones when galloping?' Well, they do, as'has been recently decided in England, and if you have any pity left you should pity thoso poor hind legs dragging along and never able to catch up. ' . •

Tho ; Census Conference have agreed, amongst other things, that where tho oooupationsof married women aro not : specified, they are" to : be classed '•domestic servants," \ Surely the Women's Eights Asssooiajlion will rise in their might and protest against their humiliation. " I should think you would feel it badly about leaving this place," said the housemaid to the departing cook, "I don't; I'm glad to go. I ain't sorry to leave any of you, except the dog, Poor old Tiger, ho always washed tho plates ior me!" ■ The following capital story is told by Sir Edward Watltins:—An ; attorney in the Black Country swallowed half-a-sovereign. With a view to recover the gold coin surgioal skill wa3 invoked, but the most the stomach;'pump, 1 \aided, by Btrong' emetics, could recover, 'was BV 4oV change. Tho balance of Gs 8d had gone into the legal system of the unfortunate attorney, and was not sjet-at-able. . . ...., . Cousin Sophia (talented;and accomplished): "Yes; Tlike' Mr Fibson; he's so sensible. He told me he didn't- care a rap for lectual women, however beautiful they may be," Cousin Bella (jnly pretty): "Did he really? Why .he told me'he couldn't bear intellect tual women, • He said women's mission was tobe beautiful," •'' "■■■

, Now, my friends, I wish to tell you not to despair, You never know what you can do till you try. You musu'tlose heart. Why, there are lots of mi who have started life in a worse position than ■ you, who have died 'worth, .fortunes. Look at Thomas Brown,:a.citizeh''of this; town who has just left us for a better world.' Ho came here with Is in his pocket, and died worth £50,000-," Still Small Voice: "I'd rather start with L 50.000 and die worth Is.

A certain married lady ; sat up till. 12 o'clock one night last week waiting for her husband .to come home from the Club. At iast, weary and worn out with her long waiting, she went to her bedroom to retire, and there found tbe missing husband sound, asleep. Instead of. going to the club he had gone to his room, and never left the house,- Such ara the troubles souip poor married women have to contend with in this life.

Tae French Government has appointed a committee to examine the plans for a bridge across tbe English Channel. ~ ~., Mrs H..: „'! Maggie, whore;db you suppose you will go if you tell such falsehoods as this?" Maggie: " Sure, ma'am, I don't care, I have friends in ayther place."

Promptitude in BusinessThere is a good tale teldof a keen old builder who was approaching one day some buildings which wero boing erected by his workmen, when he observed one of the men standing on the scaffolding with bis hands in his pockets. Going up the ladder cautjoußly, he. stepped on to the soaffold, and said: '•'! Now' l!ve caught you'.'. We'll have no more of this;" and putting his hand into his pocket, took out four days' pay, as it was only Friday, and passing it to the man ordered him off the building, The man pocketed the money and departept without a word. The master directly afterwards approached the foreman, and said; " I'VB j usfc discharged yon lazy fellow." The foreman looked in surprise, and said: "Which one?" The master, pointing to the rapidly retreating figure, 'said,'" Yon mW."'. The foreman la'ughedputright, and said," you sply have not paid (hat man 2 Ho was not-' working' for us, he was only asking for a job.'' ' ."■"

The Customs a«Klioritiea. ( at Lyttelto 1 took steps to' prevent overcrowding 'of • passengers in the steamers leaving Lytteltqn'ou Trje3dayV N Se'yoral pasßen-' gcra bopkccl fqr the Waihora ivoro franßtypped'to the Wotpfjja'jn consequence.' ' ..,'.";

' The" Du Maurier tilt" is tho new way for girls to carry their heads in flew York. The Chicago girls have also a method of their own of getting along the sidowalks.lt is knowß i)s t]|o eausago roll, ' '.'""'■ '■'■■".

Twp Mastprton tradesmen met recently. Said o,ne fp theoijipr, ''How j* business 1" "Poor," was theroply. Night before last burglars broke into my shop, but left without takiti? anything. Everything was. marked'so low they <amo around noxt morning and made purchases." , ; ~, ',

-While a woman'was giving an orange to aomo wolves iu a monagerio at flundorland, England, one of the animals wrajig ather-ha.i)d,'a!4t)it'p|tw'o hngers, which it devoured • '

_ So serious a detriment to health big cigarette smoking become in Frankfort, the capital of ti)at the Governor ipij.de jpocial rotencVto |t jn his late mc'ssfwe, anfj tho cityauthqrities have followed up the matter by passing ati .ordinance forbidding ibg >saio o| ; cigarettes in fhat pity, ~ '■■■'■■'■'. i

i jsir' Walter M]»f.'fives', (nyKc'w Zealand-' next' \Y_eej[,V ' The" principal object of his'.visit 'ib'lq arrapge for'a re-cowtfyta of the ?lW 8pttO««