Adventures of a Masterton Irrepressible.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume XI, Issue 3457, 12 March 1890, Page 2

Adventures of a Masterton Irrepressible.

An experience which, too it not i for the : inore sarious asjiects Pits > surroundings present,'would appear ! to bo of an .exceedingly amusing character,, befel a young man of this 1 town yesterday. It appears that the individual in" question, who lias 1 recently becomo " skipper of his own ; vessel, 1 ' and has brought himself 1 prominently before the public as a ". business man," bethought •himself 1 that he would mate a professional 1 tour of the Lower Valley. Accordingly, if the statement of tho y<*iig 1 man himself can be relied itponfaii' Arab steed was procured, with the ' understanding that, ho should. m thoroughly quiet, safe, sound, and* ' not vicious. This was guaranteed, and the horo of our narrative, as lie passed through (Jueen-street in company with a well-known musical artist, presented a most imposing appearance. Surely lie could in no way bo a novice on horseback. Everything wont as smoothly as possible as the merry couple passed throngh Kuriptmi and the llauaia en route for Carterton, and tlioy wero no doubt jubilant in anticipation of« "high time,' 1 Biit 161 thosceueere long was changed. Tho young man, whoso nature it is to economise labor and time, suggested to his companion that a " short cut" might be taken with advantage. Tho musical artist assented, and the pair doviated from tho straight and narrow way and got on to the broad track; b r ut, * as; we shall afterwards see, with tho most They had not proceeded far "'when they found themselves face to face with a huge lake, or ci lagoon ratlier. How they were to get through this lake was a mystery, but the young man, with his, usual self-respect, suggested that the musical artist "lead the way." After a short . deliberation the latter consented, aidsoon . found ~ himself, safe' on ther opposito : shore,V' -young man, however, was not so fortunate, Ho had just readied the centre of the lagoon, when, for some reason unexplained, tlio. librSo . on which he rode commenced floundering and leaping in a frantic manner. Possibly ho was under the impression that his rider would be nono the worso for the administering of the rite of baptism, But whatever may be the cause, the animal was determined on a course of his own, and was soon rolling in the water, Nothing could be seen of the young man for a time, . but the anxiety of his companion Ttas relioved when he saw his darlMrest ' and rounded shoulders rising from beneath the serge, The immersion had not fully exhaustedhim, however, for ho struok out for shore, and after a dexterous effort succeeded in placing himself once more on dry land, But he was in a fearful state, and was with difficulty resuscitated. Having somewhat recovered, ho wended his weary footsteps to the nearest farmhouse, and having been afforded the : pleasure of drying his saturated garmouts by the fireside, be determined. t« return immediately

bosom of bis family, tot porchanco an oxaggeraUd report oflii i'ndvonturo might reach there betore him. Arriving homo ho roliitcd in pathetic ternis tho whole ocoiirronce, and the congratulations which then ensued may bo easier imagined than described. Howover, tho young man has dccided thnt it will be some timo before ho again starts on a similar lour, and whon, bo doesiie is going to bo particularly careful not to deviato from' tho "straight urn" narrow way." t BREVITIES. County Council. ' . linportant questions diacusaed. CliaritabMid Hoard matter ended, Committee appointed to inspect the Wnipoua.^fo^ Clerk authorised to register .dogs. Rough on the slieepfarmers I lie-distribution- of seats to take place, and boundaries to be readjusted. Tho fiery element! House on the Opaki and flaxinill at the .Waiugawa ' destroyed last night. Next meetingof Miisterlon Borough • Council to be hold in Supreme Court, Wellington. Henry George addressing tremendous audiences at Sydnoy. i; Very heavy rains fallen in New South Wales and Queensland. Heavy damage reported, John Garry, a very old resident of Napier, dropped dead whilst working at his forge yesterday morning. " To-day," said tho preacher," wo are taking a collection to procure a jjtfnew suit for our city missionary, ™ This morning when the plate was passed wo got two buttons. We will now have the plates again passed, and we trust that- your generous hearts will freely respond and give us the rest of the suit." Tho estimated increase per annum of population is only a little more than 1,C00,000, and it will be many centuries before our earth gets to bo so crowded that the inhabitants wiiljoatlo'eacli other over the edge info space. Thelayofthopoot and the lay of the hen differ in several important' features, and in none more signally than in tho readiness with which the ■ lay of tho lien is convertible into liari cash.

Nothing will aggravate a man wore than to bo told, when lie is feeling particularly sick, that lie is looliing remarkably well. A mail tied one end of a rope round bis waist and lassoed a cow with tlio otlior. He thought he „ had {he cow, but at the end of the * first half mile ho began to suspect that the cow had him, Hero is a splendid story for tlio Marines I It is actually told in tlio Yankee papers. On the Western railroads largo rotary snow-ploughs clear away the snow-drifts. The ploughs, like immenseaugurs, revolve in this mass, throwing an avalanche of snow in the air at every turn. At ft hlockado on the Fort Worth line, the passengers were astonished by a shower of beef. On all sides fell sirloin, tender loin, rump, and steak, A herd of Texas .cattle had been frozen in the cut a week before, and the plough was now dissecting, them. Fires wero lighted in the snow, and the passengers enjoyed an impromptu feast. The weeds of woe may be said to be the cigarsyou get in the country,

Husband; " Where is the screwB driver, my dear?" Wife: "Screwdriver ? Don't you mean corkscrew?" " Ves, certainly; funny I should have made sucli a mistake." " Exso," Is marriage a failure ?" the bachelor cried, And the youth who is courting a girl replied; I've never been married, and cannot guess,' But Courtship, I know, is a big success."