Mr Butterwick's Gas Bill.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume X, Issue 3333, 12 October 1889, Page 2

Mr Butterwick's Gas Bill.

During one of cold snaps that wo had last winter tlio gas meter in Mr Buttonvick's house was frozen. Mr Buttorwiok attempted to thaw it by pouring hot water over it! but after spending an hour on it he .emerged from the contest with tho meter, with his feet and trousers wet, his hair full of dust and cobwebs, and his temper at fever heat. Aftor studying how he should get rid of tho ice in the meter, ho concluded to use force for the purpose, and so, seizing a hot pokor, he jammed it through a vent holo and stirred it around inside the meter with a considerable amount of vigor. He felt tho ice givo way, and he heard the wheels buz around with rather more vehemence than usual. Then lie went downstairs. He noticed for three or four days that the internal machinery of the moter was running around in a remarkable manner. It could bo heard all over the house, but he waß pleased to find that it was working again in spite of the wet weather, and he retained his serenity. About two weeks after, his gas bill came. It accused him of burning durin» a quarter, 1,500,000 feet of gas, and it called on him to settle to the extent of nearly £35,000.

Before Mr Butterwiek's hair had time to descend after the first shock, he put on his hat "and went down to tho gas office, Ho addrossed one of the clerks. .

"How much gas-did you make out at tho Blank works lastquarter?" " I dunno; about a million feet, I reckon."

"Well, you've charged me in your bill for burning half a million more than tho works made. I want to correct it." "Let's seo the bill. H'm-ra—-this is all right. It's taken off the meter, That's what the moter says." "Spos'n it does, I could'nt have burnt more'n you niado." Can't help that. Tho meter can't Ho."

"Well, but how do you account for the difference ?"

"Dumio. "Taint our duty to go nosing and poking around after scientific truth. Wo depend upon the meter. If that says you burnt six million feet, why you must havo burned it, even if wo nover mado a foot of gas out at the works." "Totell tne honest truth," said Butterwick, " that meter was frozen, and I stirred it up with a poker and sent it whizzing around," " Prico just the same," said the clerk. "We charge for pokers just like we do lor gas." " You ain't actually going to havo the auducity to ask mo to pay £85,000 on account of that poker ?" "If it wero £700,000 I'd take it with a calmness that would surprise you, Pay up, or we'll turn you off tho gaS," ■'' Turn it oft and bo hanged," exclaimed Butterwick, as he emerged from the office tearing his bill to fragments, Then he went home, and grasping that too lavish poker, ho approached the meter. It had registered another million feet since the bill was mado out, It was running up a score of a hundred feet a minute. In a month Butterwick would have owed tho gas company more than, the United Slates Govern, ment owes its oreditors. So he beat the meter into a shapeless mass, tossed it into the street, and turned it off in the cellar.

He is now sitting up at nights writiug an essay on "Our Grinding Monopolies," by the light of the kerosone lamp, Ladies Gossip. Though bright lined toilets arc of course the more general (writes tlio home correspondent of S, A. Chronicle) yet it is Certain one third uf the best dressed women wo see in any fashionbio assembly wear black—unrelieved Muck, as a rule, Green combined with black has become rather hackneyed, If any mixture, then pearl grey, pure' white, and ivory tones prevail also, After all, black, and nothing but black, is coneidtred most

oliio, aud when the material ia good and tin: cut unexceptional, nothing looks more elegant, Bonnets made entirely of flowers, white or mauve, also pink, frequently accompany black gowns, Wisteria WooraH, wild rows, laburnum, and lilac arc all favorite artificial growths, As regards neutral tones, which are exceedingly popular, aud moru popular than becoming, stone-grey and fatfn are to he com. mended; blue-greys are found to be more trying than most greys, Pure dove colour always looks well, bnfi unless the complexion bo clear wi\ff a touch of the rose in the cheek it is not wise,tn"venture on dove or fawn. White cashmere, embroidered with gold makes, an'-exquisite feto dress. Ivory trimmed wilifciver passementerie is likewiso charming; and simple, white gowns made in any sort of material are universally and also becomingly worn by matron and maid alike. If any excess, it is on the side ot matrons, who, it must be look remarkably well in white, for it seems to have been recently discovered that pure white is less trying youth is passed than some colors» pink and bine,-for example, are ceedingly trying as a rule to middleaged women, but thase colours aro in perfect accord with the rose and pearl tints of girls in their teens or in the earlier years alter 20. Maize, which for years has not been recognised by fashion, is now ordered to the front, though, never used without somo. other color mixture unless in a ballroom or on similar occasion, SWI, maize with puce another :s|lfashioned color—maize and di-rk bluo, and maizo aud grey aro all an agreeable and popular mixture' just, now; for example, a puce pongee silk powdered witn minute stars iu yellow; there are panels at the sides and vest ot maize silk. Tbo sleoves much raised at tho shoulder points, being slased with the same colour. Tho popular form of slashing is to cut a slit in the fore part of the slesveß reaching within a short distance of the elbow. Into this opening is introduced a piece of material shaped liko a very much elongated diamond cut in half, the width given to tho top of the slcove ib puckered into the armbole at the shoulder point, y —A. new way of arranging hiif (says tho samo writer) has .been ■ designed to meet tho exigence of the flower wreaths, so-called bonnets of the hour. Any radlcalchangeof fashion in tho direction of head gear necessitates corresponding changes in the arrangement of the hair; but it is unwise to cut tho hair fashion is fickle and the locks VnTTCT long to grow. With which note of warning I may tell my correspondents that the new way of meeting the requirements of fashion is to cut a. ' short fringe all roHiid the' head, tho remaining part being gathered on tho crown, and above this rests tho flower edifice, the friugo of hait curling tip all round.

The Blonde Race of Mestine-' Professor Sayco has recently drawn attention to the fair-haired, blue-eyed peoplo mot with in tho mountainous. parts of Pulestino, and sonietirnei?' supposed to be descendants of tho Crusaders, .or other Europeans who found their way to tho Holy Land during tho Middlo Ages. Eecenfc discoveries of Mr Petrie in Egypt have, however, thrown a new lish' on this peculiar folk. Tho.ethW grapbio typos depicted on' Egyptian monuments at Abu-Bimbel represent blue-eyed, red-haired perrons kiwwn aB tho" Shasliu of Kanana," a/«ho " Amaur," The former dwelt loHhe south of Hebron, and the latter are the Amoritcs of the Old Testament. Hence a blonde population existed in Palostino before . tho fourteenth century or poriod of the Crusades. According to Mr Petrie there is a,, painting of the chief of Kadesh on on the walls of a Theban tomb, showing him. to have bad a white skin and light red brown hair. Kadosh was the southern capital of the Hittitos, after their invasion of Syria; but the Egyptian inscriptions describe it as boing " in tho land of Amaur, "and that its chief was anAmorite is evident from the fact that the Hittitos are depicted with yellow or orange skins, their hair being black and their eyes dark. The Hittitea, indeed, appear to have had Mongoloid features, tho hair being arranged in a pigtail behind. The Amoritcs, on the other .hand are' represented as a tall and handsome peoplo, with large sub-aquiline noses, a short pointed beard at tho end nflfrS ohin, and long-skulled heads. Jlo Egyptian monuments toll us ' Jpt Palestine contained a white race boforo tho arrival of the Israelites, and that it continued in tho land after the Jewish conquest. Professor' Sayco points out that tho captivea taken by Shishak from the citios of Judah in the time of Rebobor-m have Amorite, not Jewish, features. There is nothing in common betweon them and the Jewish-looking tribute hearers of Jehu seen on the black oblisk. from Nimrond now in the British Museum, Henco ho infers that in tho tenth century B.C. the main population of southern Judea was of Amorite origin.

Arab Hordes in ilnglancl. Mr Wilfred Blunt has long been' famous ior his importations of pnra Arab horses into England for breeding, and his account of the business nspectß of his pursuit will be of interest. A recent intorviower wrjtoi: "Is it a ' fad' this breeding of Mb horses?" Iliad the temerity to ask. " Certainly not," was the reply. "It is true our initial cost was considerable, but we now pay all.expenses, and I have no doubt that we soon more than recover our original; outlay. lam glad to say that the qualities of Arabs aro every year becoming better appreciated in Eng-. land. When we began selling, nearly all the horses went abroad to Italy, fiussia, and the colonj«, but we now' find a constant demand:fur them at homo."

" How long have you bred Arabs at Crabbot Park ?"

"We began in '7B with fifteen mares and three horses, which I imported from North Arabia. Since then we have at different times brought over four now horses and ononew mare; we havo sold about' seventy-five horses at different ages' at our five sales at an average price of ono hundred guineas, I havo now about fifty animals in faMiet Park, and 1 shall in future havWry sales annually instead of every other yoar," ■■■-■■■:

" What was your original intention in introJuoing thorn into Ensland?" ■ ' fa

"I had the idea originally- of breeding for speed, but havo abandoned it; not that it would bo impossible to develop racing excellence, btit that it .would take too long, I now restrict myself to keeping the ■ breed pure and developing tho peculiar qualities of the Arayi which m (1) perfect tftranttQeEoP

especially in tho legs and feot, where English horse's aro most defective; (2) good tomper, they have not got such a thing as a Molt in them; (3) beauty; and (4) staying powor." "To what purpose is the Aral) best fitted in England ?" "He is very useful as a hack, but you must not suppose that ho is nat capablo of carrying very heavy weights in that capacity. Then ho is a vory bold performer across country, and will carry a light weight with the best English horses. Ho is a perfect ladies' hunter. Ho is perhaps bettor adapted for light carriage work, owing to tho excellouco of his feot, which will stand any amount of wear and tear. Ho is a good trotlor, and will pres6H»*n oven pace up the steepest hills, no has also tho groat advantage of a light and pleasant mouth. It is no exaggeration to say that a team of four Arab mares nny l>o driven by any lady without faiiguo, and by a man between his thumb and forefinger."

"The special characteristics of tho Arab may bo traced to tho circumstances a»d necessities of Bedouin life. The great intellectual development, if I may uso tho word, and tho groat docility ol temper, clearly come from selection by breeders who livo m daily companionship with the-r horses, The Tho Bedouin children are all day running about and playing among tho heels of the mares. Tho breeders would therefore discard an awkward or ill-tompered beast, and by a long process of seloction get rid of illtemper. Again, great hardness of constitution is necessary in a country which is subject to droughts, dearths and violent changes of climate. "There is uo fixed price for mares in tho desert, everything depends on rnoods and necessitates of the seller and on the particular strain of blood, However, you would probably pay twice as much as you would in England, I myself have paid as much as £2lO in tho desert for a mare."

Seeking Legal Advice About a Doc " 1 called in, bit, to get your opinion about a little point in law: s'posin' you lived next door to a man named .Tonos. And s'posin' you was to say to Jones that a splendid illustration ot tho human intellect was to be found in the powor ot the human eye to restrain tho ferocity o( a wild animal, And s'posin' Jones was to remark that that was all bosh, and you should deslaro that you could hold tho savagost boast that was ever bom if you could once fix your gaze upon him. Well, then, s'posin Jonss was to say ho'd atamo animal that you couldn't hold with your oyo, and you was to take liim up on bet a hundred dollars he could bring it, and Jones wes to ask you to como down to his place to settle the bet, You'd go, we'll Bay, and Jones 'il introduce a dog biggcr'n any four decent doRS ought to bo ami set him on you, and ho'd come at youlikc a sixtcen-inch Blicll out ofauowitzer.and you'd get skerry about it and try to hold the dog with your cyo, and could'nt. And s'posin' you'd suddenly concludo that maybe your kind or au eye was'nt cakiilntodtoboldthnlkimlofa flog, awl you'd conolude to break for a plum treo.Yon ketch my idea? Very well, then. Well, sir, s'posin' just as you got throo feet up tho tree, Jones' dog would grab you by tho leg, and hold on like a vice, shaking you until you nearly lost your hold. And s'posin' Jones was to stand there and holler, ' Kii yoor cyo on him liriggs I' and so on; and s'posin' ho kept the dog on thai leg until he made you swear to pay that bet, and that at last ho had to pry that doii o(f with a hot poker, S'posin' this, what I want to know is, couldn't you sue Jones for damages ?'' - Max Adlcr.