Tea Fights.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume X, Issue 3180, 15 April 1889, Page 2

Tea Fights.

Araout; the most striking phenonena of modern aouinl life are those ntertaininents which ore known to ho ribald outsider as "teafights." There are, no doubt, somo exceed, ngly cogent reasons for their abnnd;Ut prevalence, and an exhaustive inquiry into those roasons, as well—o begin at the beginning— as to how md by whom they were introduced, vould be a curious and instructive itudy. One remarkable feati* ibout them is that their use anf lopularity is confined chiefly to ladies md children—tbe male creature, iftor adolescence, aa a rule, m<m hem with good-humored contempt!, ind-to those whose duty or inclinaiop leads them to cater for the jcntlor members of other people's amilies. This leads one to note the lingular fact that these "enjoyable wirings" are not the recreations or efreshroents chosen by families for hemselves, nor are they to be comlared to the diversions of tho " upper uckles," whose "five o'clock tea "is norely an excuse for-gossip and to lawdle away au idle half-hour. Still ess can they bo considered to bo the Wit of that physical craving which he most rcdued, as well as the most obust amongst ns fool, to eat when ve aro hunqry and to drink when we iro athirst. No: a good serious mrd bout at a tea fight j g lik o mneoftheso; it is mi jwww-liko lothing but itself. Is it of any use ? )oes that cup-do those many, cups, iay, boilers full, of insipid liquid, vally oheer and not inebriate tho :rowda who porspire over it, by reMs, n stufly rooms, on summer nighil? Do those gentlemen whose faces shine Hidcr the consumption of muffins •eally sharpen their wils or improve ■lioir digestion by the operation? Can tho moral to stuff boys and girls vith Bath buns (which in tho enornoiw "tiehtenors" under consideraion are about as good for their poorf ittlo stomachs as bath bricks) antf lot water, until, frequently, samples if them are often found "swellin' visiblj" and havo forth witf, to be loscd with nauseous counter irritants? suppose, oh shocking thought, I that my of them were to burst ? and if hey escape the worser fate, how learly must they pay at the" after noeting " for the excess into whion hey have been entrapped, The proler prescription for most boys and [iris too-after a " tuck-out" would ie fresh air, marbles, footballs, hoous, vhoops, & c . in anico roomy paddock; mt these havo uo such luck, and in heir uneasy state what balm mn ■bey find in the pounding of aJMA "') k lispings of a weak-eyed nan, or the bleating of some smug md gorged very good elderly person I ' The choir ' rendered' some excellent music, The Mines.Boodle k Piouty and Popps; Messrs Wheeze, Pimple, Dozer, aud Gover sang solos, duets, quartettes and quintets. Master Rasper executed a masterly rendition of Front's fugue in B flat, and Miss Striddles "presided" at the piano (kindly lent for the occasion by' Mr Chumps) in her usual finished style." Who has not read the hun. dreds.of newspaper'paragraphs, Of

which this is ft sample, and of which Sydenham is ihe birth place? They —the newspaper men—keep 'em in baskets waste-paper baskots—full, and print them as required, Now as to tho effects of the dissipation on Iho 4 more muturo confirmed Themaniacs. First, there is death in lb') tea cup, for If wine be poison, so is tea, though in a different shape ; • What matter whothor wo bo killed, by canister or grapo I Ilowevor, on second thoughts, so littlo tea (jots into tho tea meeting boiler that that danger need not bo insisted on, but the continual iaibition of weakly flavorod and discolored boUvater has a tendencyto and undoubtedly does weaken the brain, impair the intellect, end generally mako stupid all thoso intemperant toatotallers who are addicted to tho vice and who finally become victims to D.T. (delirium then), the symptoms of which have been faintly sketched in ) tliis note,—Christchurcli Press, A plebiscite as 10 whether children shall recoivo roliginus instructions in the schools of Milan, Italy, was taken in that city, and 25,000 out 27,000 voted yes. Stockings nro prowmg mora ospensivo .. in London and Paris. Tho new ones iBl are'heavily beaded with jat or with real ' laco inserted in front, and go up as high —as f 8 a pair. A funny incident (says tho Auckland Star) was witnessod last week in an up tram car to Pousonby. A lady got in on the way up, carrying a very palpable bottle of porter, prosumaHv for her invalid prandinolhor at homo, and ihe tram had stopped for a minuto when the thing exploded with a terrible pop, A largo portion of the fluid found its way into the capacious' brand trap' of a sleeping infant and woke it up with a heartronding howl, while a fearfully and wonderfully got up niashor closo by had the pleasure of taking a large quantity down the back of his neck, and Bad to rclato, had such a pretty whito tie ho wore complete spoiled with that' yulgah portah, don't-cber-knoiv.' An austerelooking, black-coated old gentleman, whoso reverend-looking grey beard was dripping with the precious liquid which p\ had bespattered him, was evidently ' about to deliver a solemn lecture to the blushing young thing on the evils of meddling with strong drink and the sin ot intoxication, when she incontinently stopped tho car and got out. It is extremely unlikely that tho ' grandma' s;ot her porter that night, (pi Well's Hair Balsam. If gray, restores original color And elegant dressing, softemi and beautifies No oil nor grease,. A Tonic Restorative stops hair coming out; strengthens cleanses, heals scalp, " Kouoii ok urns. Ask tor Well's "Rough on Corns," A complete, pormanent cure. Quick rolief and corns and bunions, At all chemist & Druspists.