Episcopal Fun.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume IX, Issue 3082, 17 December 1888, Page 2

Episcopal Fun.

[ Bishops as a' rule are not funny;: ■ • but tho Late Bishop Wilberforoe i seoma likely to go down to posterity i witli something like the samocharao- fll* ter as Sydney Smith. Around eaoh i of them, too, funny stories seomed . to circulate as if by some natural i attraction; ■ Temple Bar says: /'He: .j rather plumed himself on remember- ■ • A ing faces, and justly so. One day, however, he received a somewhat i rudo shock. A Hampshire lout (I do i not know a better word) appeared in ' i a country church among tho candidates. The Bishop felt sure he had confirmed him before, so he leaned. over and said very softly,' My boy, I i think I lmve confirmed you before.* , The lad opened hip great wide eyes • a • , and replied,' You be a liar.' Wilber- : force knew that this ivas-Only the ordinary way a clown ltuow how to deny what was not true. So ho was ' told to kneel down, and ho was confirmed, Ho was engaged in giving away prizes at a middle sohool wliero there were a master and a unusually high qualifications. " A. speech was made in which the excellencies of the master were duly 1 mentioned but nothing said of the" dti mistress. Someono reminded tho rW speaker of tlie omission, so with ready tact ho said, 'Everyone hero knows that homo includes woman. So what I said of the head master is equally applicable lo tho head mistress.' In a village school lie was giving a lesson on Jacob's ladder and the angels, and then invited any ; , child' present to ask a question, ' whereupon an ingenious lad asked how it was the angels wanted a ladder when they had wings. The questioner, was non-plussed, but wanting: to. know what was floating .) ~ ; in tlie children's brains he called up a little chap and said,' Tommy, can yoitexplain that?' 'Jsuppose,'said, tho urchin,' cos they was a A little girl was; found after,church with her pet dog and> cat perched on n chau- whilo she was solemnly readi ing her Now Testament aloud,' Don't | you know,': she. mid by way- of.ex- .- ■ • planatioti, ' tho Jwiop told 'us to • > f i preach the Qonpol tMvery creature 1 . ■;! Isn't a ;dog or aMt.a creature?' 1 ' t Some/village observed .. by.bim makingmud pfes.Well, my , ■ little men,' said he, and what are you - v doing there?"' We're making a chinch, su.' 'Oh, a, church, you; but wlidre's the paison? l Thoro ain't mud enough to make him, sir,' taul aji urchin.

Masterton Road Board. . ' The usual monthly meeting took place on Saturday, Present—Messrs •jjtjD. Dagg,(ir.th6Cbiur) J. Staokey, : !W. B, Bniok aiid T. Brown, • Aftor tho minutes of tlio proviona mooting: had been read ami confirmed the,, following correspondence was read: : Prom K Hi' Waddiujton and eight other ratepayers, asking the Board to apply, to the Government for a loan of A'so, to construct a road through their properties on the Upper Plain and Akura roads. From C, E. 0. ' Smith, surveyor, complaining that ho received no circular ro eurvcy works. .From Castlopoinl Road Board asking

for information respecting wages of

roadmen. Frotn Mr D. Guild asking the Board.to allow £2 Ca for cost of i clearing tlio Wiuigaehu road opposite his section, to be credited against his rates, From Mr S, Mawloy threatening legal proceedings if the road lot to Mr WiM'is mado through his property at Kopuaranga, From Treasury advising paymont of £IOO on (Aunt of loan for Wangacliu road. *ho following resolutions were pas3td:—That the request of Messrs Waddington and othors ro loan be agreed to. That Mr Guild's application be agreed to on the usual terms. That tho action of the Chairman and Mr Dags re Woolfs contraot for Wangaehu Valley road be confirmed. Messrs Alex Johnston and W.'l'orna waited on tho Board, and asked that something should bo done to tin* Hunmahuoga ford damaged by the late flood. It waß decided that Mr Dtigg should interyiew the Mayor o£ Masterton and Mr B. P. Perry on tho subject and that the Borough Couucil

be written to, The Chairman having announced "V the result of the conference of the • county delegates on the proposed Public Works Act, it was resolved *>ject to clause 10 giving power to ton land and destroy gorso, Ac., and to ask the County Council to cooperate with other local bodies in getting a clause inserted enabling roads in nse to be legalised. Accounts amounting to £l3O wero passed for payment, and the meeting adjourned,