Bulls and Blunders.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume IX, Issue 3027, 12 October 1888, Page 3

Bulls and Blunders.

Everybody has heard of the schoolboy wbo construed the classical sigh, " 0 TfimporH! 0 Mores I .iiito " 0 thd temper of Moses;" anil of that other one who when ask for tlio past tense of," go" answered "went," of "love" »hjj||!yuud of do " Doncaster I" No these youths were the, recipawf somewhat pedagogic abuse, it/ even of floggings, but they. desilStl' them no whit moro richly than the French translator who transmogrified Hamlet's ungallant remark about the ladies, "Frailty, thy namoia woman,"into "Madame Frailty is the name of the lady." : , •.: Collet, in bis "Relics of Literature," relates that in a French iranslutioa of Robertsons "History of Scotland" the following passage occurs:- "Soon ' heating himself by the n'ro of his passions and his hatred, ho. bestirred himself liko a madman; ho broke his pulpit, and leaped into the midst of bis auditors." This is "intended for that well-known passage respecting John Knox, which tells us that ho was so activo and vigorous a preacher that he was liko to ding the pulpit into blads and fly out of it. To Oollot wo aro also indebted for the following instajAif that species of mistake taowTtiii(t"biill," Milton in one of bis Bermons sayß:—" It is one among many proofs of the wisdom nnd benovoionco of Providonco that tho world was not croated 'in tlio mjdst of winter, when Adam and Evo could have found nothing to cat j but in harvest time, when there was fruit on every treo and shrub to tempt the willins hand.",

An instance of misapprehension is given in tlio pages of Punch:— A middle-aged, individual, endeavoring to read) home after a "night" at the club, stumbled at length on ono of thoso railed onc)osiires, which- are sometimes to bu found in the squares of largo towns. Our .friend being somewhat shaky on bis.legs wclooraed tho railing as n friend in need,' thinking by Hs aid to travel yet a little further in saffitv. The result was that he did 20 or 30 laps round a ; monument, and wben it dawned on him be was playing tho gin-horse, be t sank down in utter despair and remarked, ti go—l'll bo hanged if they 6'or locked mow" :: ■;■'.. uo of mind loads peoplo into many laughable situations. They toll a story of ut clergyman who, when walking in tho country, fell into deop thought, Coming to a toll-bar, he called out, "What's to pay?" "Pay for what]" asked the toll-bar man. " For my liorso" said the worthy parson. " What horeel There's no uskjesir." "Bless niel" exclaimed tho absent-minded one, looking down between bis legs, " I thought I was on horseback." It is related that Sydney Smith once called upon, a friend in London, and whon asked for bis nauio by tho servant, actually became confused, and' for some time could not recollect his own cognomen. How a man called Smith could be ijuilly of such ikpws memoriasm aro utterly at a loss to understand, Thft first Lord Lytteltoti was also very absent-minded, so much so, indeed, , that when, by tho upsetting of a boat, bo fell into tho river at Hagloy, it is said that ho saok iwico beforo ho remembered that ho could swim, (jfc blunders made with regard to .poJRh) we may instance 'the follow-. ing:-.-" William IV. was onco kept • waiting outside a certain part of the Y Windsor Castle owing to uprivato en- " \ prance being t]ial evening ft charge of . a substitute who 'did nob krqw the kiog in bit jdaiu clqUkb. " YcuofEt't

pats ' old'uh,' said iliß-nmu clio,orf ully. 'Nooiio in allowed (o pass 'hofil-after' dark, oxcopt tlm Kim' mid the.laiujilighter."' The Irish havimi ihwmliUl reputa. tion for making "bu11:.." W>- ruadof an Irish orator who, whilst, da-laiming on tho wrongs of his country, said, " Her cup of miahry has been uvi-rj Bowing, and is not ynt full," \»d an Irish n-wvpappr remitrkd ol \\\>hnjiiorro, llmt "Ho left no children Imhind him, oxcopt a, brother, who was killed at tho same time;" It was im Irishman, too, who wroto.from India' —" A lot of young follows oomo but hore and eat and drink till they. die, and then thoy. writo.to their' friends and say it was tho • climate that did it." " ■•■•'• T.W..H-C.

The Wives of Artists and Others. An artist's wife looked dolightfully cool in a dress of some soft stonecoloured material,'which went beautifully with the walls.* In strong contrast with her was tho wife oi'auituor. artist, who woro a. long groy. cloak lined with fur, an enormous hat, groy gauze veil, ami very brilliant colouring. Two lovely girls, in large picture hats and a'perfect; glory of rich brown hair, mado a great sensation as thoy stood together uudor the tent-like canopy, which 'throw suoh a becoming glow upon tho'complexions, whilrit-rathor "interfered" with tho circulation of the, air; arid riiado us all very hot, A talibruuotte, who was dressed in'dark green', with a collar .of beaver, would mako;a good model for Judith or Charlotto Corday. She was very haudson.lo, with magnfi. . cont eyes with that-kind of deep glow in them that means mental or moral power of some kind, I forgave hor oscort his large orange : tie, because it suited his gipsy colouring so well. Another dark-haired girl, with tho clearness of amber-grey eyas in her face, woro a gown of some soft uiiguonotte-colourcd woollen material, tho front of which opened- over

brocaded silk in tho same tint.-; The largo hat matchodthe dress in colour, and threw a becoming shadow ovor the brow. A vory pretty girl, in a groy dress, woro over it a tightly-fitt-ing bodice of dark-nasturtium-red silk, with flowing, slender, fringes; of red and groy beads. A largo etool'distension at the back of her skirt detracted j from the grace of her appearance. j Withher was a beautifully-dressed girl lin palo grey rolioved with white, | Many gowns of dull holiotropo appeared. One was delicious,, Long linos of chinchilla fell from the shoulders to the feet, and grey feathers of tho precise shades of tho chinchilla trimmed bonnet. Another heliotrope dress was trimmed all down the front and round tho neck with round pompons of boaveiv Anothor was unrelieved with any colour; a mistake. Holiotropo needs'Bomo rolhf. 'A striped grey dress/was remarkable for tho consistent unity of its design. It opened over a skirt of dark wallflower silk, which was visible chiefly at one side ami was worn with a high hat of the two colours, mixed. A lightning gown was all zigzags of different • colours. It made oiWs poor oyelids j quiver. A graceful woman in black, with scarlet in her bonnet, stood talking to a fair girl, also dressod in ! black, her headgear being one of those diaphanous hats which look r so light and airy, and aro so very I becoming to a really charming- fa'oe. —Madge in Truth,

Downright Cruelty To permit yourself and family to "Suffer I With sickness when it can bo prevented mid cured so easily with Dr Sonlo's American Hop Bittorslll Having experienced a groat of "Troublel" from indigestion,somuoh so that I caino near losing ray V. Life! ■ My'troublo ulways came after eating any food ." Howover light • ■ Arid digestible For two or threo hours at a timo I had to go through the most Excruciating puns, „'_. ..: .■■'■ " And the only way I over got;, "'Relief!" Was by throwing up all my Bfomaoh contuined. No diio' oirn conceive the pains that Iliad to go through until . " I was tukon I" " So that for three weeks I lay in bed and Could eat nothing I: My sufferings were so bad that I called two doctors to givo mo something that would stop the pain, their Efforts wore no good to mo. I heard a good deal "About your Dr.. Soulo'a American: Hop Bitters! and determined to try thorn." Got a bottle-in four hours I took tho contents of Onel Next day I was out of bod, and havo not seen a . "Sick!" . ■: Hour, from tho Batue causo siuco, 1 1, J havorocomniondrd it to hundreds of others. You havo no such ■' Advocato as 1 am,"~Geo. Kendall, Allston, Boston, Mass. .

Columbus "Advocato," Toxas, April ■31,783." Dear Editor:-! have_ tried your Dr, Soulo's Amorican Hop Bitters, and find Iboy aro good forany complaint. Tho best niedicino 1 ovor usod in my family. H, Imm, ESfeNiwo ueiiuine without.'a bunch of groen !iop3 on tho whito kbol, and Dr SoiuVs nnmo blown in tho bottle. Beware of all tho vile poisonous stuff wado to inntato the above 20)2 " Kooon on Ooknb. Ask for Well';/ ''Rough on Corns." A complete, permanent euro. Quick rolio or corns and buhious, At all chemist and Druggist. ...... •