Witty Lawyers.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume IX, Issue 3022, 6 October 1888, Page 3

Witty Lawyers.

s " I have heard," says the Washeton correspondent of the PhilaTphia Eecord, "two good stories of ittigrew, of South Carolina, the ijeat lawyer and Unionist. Ho was ractising one time before a Judge iho was a Presbyterian of the traigbtoat sect) and a very hardforking officer, It came to be luunday'Tliursday, and • Tettigrew rid tbo Episcopalians and Roman Mholta thought they would like an djourumont of Court over Good 'riday. Migrew was selected to rake tho motion. ' Your Honor,' e said,' I desire to move that the tourtadjoum over to-morrow. 1 'Why iiould tho' Ccgkadjourn over tolorrow whartbe' dockot is so :owded.?' asked tho Judge', Because,' said Pcttigrew,..' to-mor-w is Good Friday, and sonic of us ould hke to go to ohurch,' ' No,'' »d the Judge, decidedly, after a loment'othought, 'the Court wll • '**' -■■- '<'■>

sitto-morrcwasusual,' 'Verywell, your Honor,'replied Pettigrow, add-' ilig as', ho, .turned nway, 'I know tlierb''. is ii inwdonl; for Pontius Pilato hold Court on tho.first Good Friday.' Tho. same -lodge whs a : great : , stickler for otiijuotte, and when, Olio hot July day,'l'ottiju'ow camo into tho Court room in a black coat and yollow nankeen trousers', tho Judge took him, sternly to task, asking lnni whether he" did not know that'the rules of that Court'require its counsellors to -appear in ' black' coat and' 'Well, your honor,' said Pottigrew innocently, ! 1 submit that I am Within the'riiles for I have on a black coat and trousorg." "But tboy aro not black trousers,'insisted the judge;. blaok coat and 'trousers means that both should be black.' ' Then,' said Pottigrew, "I call you honor's attention to the fact that the sheriff of this Court is.in contempt of its rulos; for they reqniro him to attend upon its sessions in a cocked hat and sword, and whilo his hat seems to bo cocked his sword certainly is not,' Tho judge said no moro about his trousers.

Downright Cruelty To permit yourself and family to "Suitor! With sickness when it can be prevented : and cured so easily with Dr Smile's Amorican Hop Bitters 11! Having experienced a great of "Trouble!" from indigestion, so much so that 1 came near losing my Lifkl. My truublo always came after eating any food However light ' ■*■• And digestible' For two or three hours at a time I had to go through tho most Excruciating piins, "Ami thu only way I over got ""Relief!" Was by. throwing up all my stomach contained. No ono can conceive (lie pains that Iliad to go through until " I was tnkon 1" "So that for three \vcekn I lay in bed and Could eat nothing 1 j, My sufferings were so bad that I called two doctors to give me something that would stop tho pain, their Efforts were no good to me. I heard a good deal " About your Dr, Smile's Amorican Hop Bittors! and determined to try them." Oot a bottlo—in four hours I took the contents of • One I Next day I was out of bed, and have not socna "Sick!" Hour, from the aamo cause since. 1 havo recommendrd it to hundreds of others, You havo no such •' Advocate as I am."—Geo. Kendall, Allston, Boston, Mass, ' Columbus "Advocate," Texas,. April 21,-/83. Dear Editor:—l havo tried your'Dr.Soule'sAmerican Hopßitturs, and find thoy are good furany complaint. Tho best medicine 1 ever used in my family. H, 'falener. genuine without, a bunch uf green hops on the white label, and Dr Soulo'a namo blown in the bottle. Beware of all tho vile poisonous stuff made to imitate tho above 2012