FOOTBALL.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume IX, Issue 2902, 18 May 1888, Page 3

FOOTBALL.

The following teams liavo been set lected to represent tbo Masterton Club jfe tiieii' niatolies oil Queen's birthday agaiust the Wellington Defonco Force and the 2ud fifteen of the Wellington ' Club respectively; -First: Erskino (fullback); three-quarters; O.Perry, 0. H. Smith, Wallace; halves: 11. Perry, J. Perry; forwards; C. ami J, Bannister, Cheunells, Cox, W. Day, Houuslow, Polling, G. and VV. Welch; Emergencies: Holmwood, O'Connor, P. Perry. Second: F. Perry (fullback); threequarters : PQwnall, liolmwood, Eowse;' halves: E, Welch, Stewart; forwards: H. Bannister, F. Day, T. Dixon, Hoffiens, Kibblewhite, McKenzie, O'Connor, Rowe, A. Welch; Emergencies: Kummer, Eton, Bill McKenzil?, M'lvor, Coleman. " Infant Phenomena." F. A. Stearns in Tit Bits: "I'd like to have you seo ray boy," said a gentleman to a well-known theatrical manager. " I think it would pay you • to put him before the public." "Infant phenomena are played out, «i dear sir " was tlio reply. " I n't think we can do any business together." " But, you see, my boy—- " Pianist, I suppose. That scheme has been worked for all it's worth—" ' •' But he never touched a piano in his life." " Cornet player, then, I suppose." •'He doesn't know a cornet from a hay-mow." " Plays the violin, I presume. No money in that, sir." " He doesn't play anything." " Oh; boy actor, then, of course. My dear fellow, try to get the notion

out of his head. I—" "But he doesn't act." " Ah, then he's an elocutionist, Of <*all the nurses to society an infant el—" "But he isn't an elocutionist." " Sings, eh ? There are dead loads of boy sopranos, and while _ I don't want to hurt four feelings—"Hedoesn't sing." " Well, what docs lie do ? What is MBoy juggler ? Chess-player ? _ itning calculator ? Jig-dancer ? Gymnast ? " " Why lie doesn't do anything in particular. He's just one of the oldfashioned kind of boys we used to have years ago, and I thought " " My dear sir bring him around this afternoon, and I guc33 we can agree on terms. Great Scott. This is a streak of luck !" The boy will shortly make Ins appearance, if he does not develop into a phenomenon before the arrangements are completed. A Bogus Clergyman. George Frederick Wilfred Ellis, Rector onVethoiingsett, has been charged at Ejo with having falsely pretended to be in holy orders, and feloniously Bolenmisiiig matrimony according to the Church of England, Tho information, . which was laid by the Chief Detective Inajgctor of Scotland Yard, also alleged ttnffflio prisoner had forged certificates of tonsure and ordination, as well as the seal of the Bishop, The prisoner, it appeared, had held several clerical appointments since 1877, and upon his marriage was presented by his father-in-law to the living of Wetheriuaett. The Scotland Yard authorities, Jhowever, received information that the accused was an imposter, and the Treasury have taken up the prosecution, The prisoner was romantled. The career of the prisoner seems to havo been an adventurous one, In 1879 lie represented to the Bishop of Truro and the Archbishop of Canterbury that he had been ordained, first as a deacon, and then as a priest, by the Roman Catholic Bishop at Salford. In 1883, he married tho daughter (if aMr Robin, who then pur- . chased and presented his son-in-law with the living of Wetherins»sett, valued at with the rectory house, and he renamed tliero up to Michaelmas last, when he became non-resident. Mr Jacon, for the _ defence, applied for bail, but tho magistrate thought the charge too serious to alloiv it, and the prisoner was accordingly removed in custody. ste Evil of Early Marriages. Speaking in Loudon recently, the Archbishop of Canterbury said drunkenness was an ollence against all mankind, and early reckless marriages - -fl* ~1„

were ofluuices almost as great. Early marriages did not appear to take place f araong'tlui upper classes, But in his own part of London,it almost made his t blood run cold to think of the many early marriages, Self-restraint was the road which governed both kinds of intemperance. There was only one «ay by which men could obtain a fair t share of God's good things, and that was by the road of diligenco. industry. ' and thrift. ''Rough osltou. "Rou»h on Itch" cures skin humors, . : eruptions, ring worm, totter, salt rlioum, frosted feet,.chilblains, itch, vy poison, •vJforber's itch ! " Uuciiu-PAIBA," Qijpk, complete cure, nil annoyipn Kipty, Bladder, and Uninary diseases, " Rough on Corns.' Ask for Well's" Rough on Corns." A complete, permanent cure. -Quick relief ' for corns and bunions. At all chemists nd Druggist, Well's llaik Baimm, If gray, restores to original color Au ologant dfeissiug, softens and beautifies, No oil not grcaso. A Tonic Restorative, Stops hair coming out; strengthens, lceanses, heals scalp, Loss and Gain.