Our Wellington Watchman.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume IX, Issue 2854, 22 March 1888, Page 2

Our Wellington Watchman.

Writing, under date February 23rd, on the subject of the Tartar invasion of the Australasian Colonies, I remarked : " The question of Chinese immigration into Australasia will do for us what Chinese tea once did for America, secure our ultimate separation from the Old Country." As usual, my utterances were prophetic. Now the Chinese Government are asking the Home Authorities what in Sheol the Australasians mean by refusing rightof entry to the interesting Ah Sin, and hinting at treaties, and showing a disposition to boss Britain generally.

One of the Wellington evening papers hints that the Chinese have a powerful fleet, and at the possibility of the Chinese forcing us to accept their leprosy, as England has forced China to accept her opium. This is hardly at present within the bounds of possibility, Jn the first place I do not think the Chinese have any fleet strong enough to venture so far from Chinese waters as these colonies, and secondly I do not think the Chinkies would tackle Europeans if they could help it. I am not one of those who believe an the bunkum one still hoars in English agricultural districts about one Englishman being a match for any ten foreigners, but the Englishman who in open fight could not tackle a score of avqfagg Chinamen must be a poor i

specimen—unless the heathen have altered very much since 1 liad the honor of their acquaintance, When first the Chinese were opposed to Europeans they were.not a bit afraid of them, imaginingJrtiafc the Ya.'iquitze, or Foreign ''Devil, would be awed by their appearance; but repeated thrashings have taught the Chinese a wholesome fear of the ontei'.barbarian, and they will not face him in tho open,

The Chinaman, by-thc-way, is the strangest mixture of funk and foolhardiness conceivable, They have also a strong fatalistic element in their character. I have seen a big, powerfullooking Ohinkie sit down and weep for a whole day because someone boxed his ears, and hare seen the same creature submit to the executioner's knife without moving a muscle of his face. I have known Chinese pirates to surprise, stink-pot, and take a heavily armed schooner, and to jump overboard and drown themselves when a solitary European, who by seoretingjjpiself had escaped, suddenly jumfjMfat of his hiding place and ran armed only with a big knife. I have seen one Englishman, assisted by two Manillamen, ovorpowor a crew of forty Ningpo men backed piratical passengers, ariPf, and having the command of cannon, simply by rushing into the thick of thi crowd and battering them over the heads with handspikes. Like all cowards, they are cruel. I should take the Chinese to be the most cruel people on earth.

However, I have wandered some- • what, What I originally meant to convey was that Ido not think these Colonies have anything to fear from an armed Chinese invasion, Not for a generation or two, at least. China, like Russia, demands an outlet, though for a different reason. Russia requires a sea-board. China's teeming and ever increasing population lias long exceeded its means of subsistence, and neither famine nor pestilence are sufficient to keop her millions down. Once there was a time when China forbade her sons to roam, Now, taught by the foreigners, she casts a longing eye on the land which those same for«ners have rescued from nature. i/fisKto see what can eventuafiLitem this yellow tide, eager to burs Tits barriers, and leap into the outer world. lam almost ashamed to drag in that unfortunate New Zealander ofMacaulay's again, because the poor beggar is always doing journalistic duty. But I don't believe in that New Zealander, Ihe individual who, in the coming ages will stand on the ruins of London Bridge, will be named Ah Sin. He ' will wear a pig-tail, a yoke, and two baskets, and will ejaculate-" Welly good cabagee 1"

What with talk of Russian and Chinese invasions, General Schaw's lecture on Defence, and Colonel M'Donnell's lecture on " How we used to fight the Maori," Wellington has been recently steeped to the lips in a bellicose atmosphere. General Schaw's lecture was amusing, and showed that the General possessed a quality with which are not generally credited-?m.igination, As a serviceable work-a day contribution to the actual, practical defenct of Wellington, no one can possibly. fm more cognizant of the defects of'that lecture than Major-General Schaw himself. His whole plan of defence rested upon-the hypothesis that wd would at least have seven days notice of the advent of hostile cruisers. That was the old style, now combatants first fire then enquire—the shot comes before the "Who goes there 1" and in the event of hostilities the first intimation Wellington will probably receive will be the actual presence of the enemy's cruisers in Wellington harbour. It is impossible to deny that there is an uneasy feeling that we may at any moment be taken by surprise.

But Captain Bobadil of the Wellington Body Guards fears no foe, bless you, Russian, French, or German. He said tbe other niglit to a group of admirers clustered round the bar of a certain Wellington hotel—(mballant Captain was in full fig® looked exceedingly warlike)—that he wished the Russians would attack Wellington, by Jove, He was tired of these false alarms, and sick of all these Engjfc officer fellows coming here and prefflr ding to teach better men than themselves, by Jovol The local warrior more than hinted that he had apian of defence secreted in his brain which would knock spots off any that had been propounded, Then lie went home to bed,

Next morning when heroic Bobabil watered his garden he heard tho report of a big gun. " Hello 1" he said—" the mail." Then another gun. " Can't be the mail, -probably a salute to ono of the English meno' war. But the guns continued, and Bobadil became serious. He went to,the front of the house. He counted.jfcft least thirty guns. He had never Jeard of such a salute. People were running by, no one seemed to know what the firing presaged. Then Bobadil hastily dressed himself with a very white face,; screamed to his wife to put some food in his havre* sack, took his uniforms, and cockecfy hats, and swords and things and hid them in the fowl house, rushed back, took every farthing of money in the house, and started out. " Where in heaven are you going 1" asked Mrs Bobadil. "The Russians, the Russians, you foolish woman, don't you hear the guns 1 They won't hurt you, you're a woman, but they would kill you, if they found ipe here because lam a soldier. I've hid the uniforms. He scooted. They say ho had passed the Lower Hutt and was heading Bftvely for the Wairarapa 'ere he discovered that it was only the salute of 91 guns to commemorate the death of Emperor William, Bobadil no longer tries on his uni« forin coat before the bedroom Jpoljingi

glass, asking " How do I look, Maria ?" The history of tho Maoris, their traditional and occult lore, and the story of our early dealings and combats with them are subjects capable of being dressed up into many and most interesting lectures. Most people liavo considerable curiosity to learn something about those young and innocent days when taniwhas, and waihenes and To Kootis went scooting about the land, and the ofhisive aborgine ltmchod oflfkitted missionary, and cold enemy, and when tliero were veritable wizzards and witches and the voice of tho moa was heard in the land sweetly carioling tho melodies of Maori-land. But I humbly doubt wbotbor a wise Providence exactly intended Lieut. Col, M'Donnell to get up on his hind legs on the lecture platform and narrate these thrilling matters, because as a lecturer there is remarkably little thrill about the Colonel. I can imagine the gentleman in question "i 1 tho imminent deadly breach," or prancing round at the taking of a pah, and looking all there, but had Desdeuiona questioned him, as she did Othello, oil the story of his life, "the battles, sieges, fortunes" that ho had ■ passed, the fair creature would have been snoring long before he had got through the introduction to his story. Jn other words the Lieut. Col. is the most deadly lecturer I havo ever sat under, and 1 havo heard Archie Forbes and soveral Scotch Presbyterian parsons on tho subject of" wut," Sorao biblical cynic wanted his enemy to write a book, poor McDonnell's fiercest foe would have been placated had he heard him read, and read badly, his dreary pages of ill-arranged wobble. I write this in no hostilo spirit, far from it. lam sorry to see a gallant soldier tnako an unholy show of himself. Tho reproach that wo are rather too prone in our almsgiving to sound a trumpet before us in tho synagogues and streets, may not be altogether undeserved, and there is doubtless a too intimate connection between bazaar caperings and posturings, fancy fairs, and charity, still no one can deny that .New Zealanders on occasions givo freely, The movement on foot here jfß just now to improve the Hospital accommodation for children is popular, and well-supported, Can there be any more worthy object 1 Can charity take sweeter shape than when it soothes the pains, and cheers the spirits of the little ones whom tho gentlest man that ever lived suffered to come unto him ? It is said that the children are so petted, so kindly, and so skilfully treated at the Hospital, that often when they return to the parental nest, healed and sound, the mothers declare the little ones have been quite spoilt. If "spoiling" children bo a sin, 'tis ono that angels smile at.