EXPERIENCES OF A YANKEE.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume IX, Issue 2787, 31 December 1887, Page 2

EXPERIENCES OF A YANKEE.

A smart, enterprising gentleman, from'the''V laud of the "Stars and Stripes," and who' ' runs a new Yankee invention, called one day during last week at TeAro House,'in Cuba Btrout,' Wellington, Entering the clothing department, he said to one ot the assistants, " Sir, I am Silas J. Jones, agent for a machine which whips all creation. The advancement of civilisation, the amelioration o| the .condition of down-trodden millions, and, the happiness of mankind lienerally, 'depend largely on'the use of thii new labor-saving apparatus." He then began to open his parcel, with a view of exhibiting this wonderful invention, when the salesman replied," lam not the. boss of: /I thiscoijcern, You will find the tiroprie'or' W in the office, and no doubt''he will be glaii- v "'. to see you; but, before doing so, allow, mo to say no. apparatus ever yet invented" can ' benefit the human race more completely tnaij. our cotton Binglets at Is, cotton 'drawers" at Is 6d, merino drawers arid shirts from 2s fjd, and focks from .9d a pair. ; Consider the"luxury, sir, of selecting from our admirable stock of regatta shirts, guaranteed the hew.' est patterns and exceedingly 'durablel fftm 2a 6d each. Then,'for hats, we :, can : supply them in Btraw, for meua', youth's, and'boy's' : from' 3d to 4s 6d each, and alj other kinds, tweed and felt, equally cheap. ■ We caniive' you scarves, and'tiea at the wet ■" wholosiileprices, and a" sac suit, made'ftordor, •thoroughly' shrunk; 'perfect-in fit' gentlemanly in style, and. of pure Petbne' tweed, for 425, ..Silas wasi so struck with" the .bargains that he.became an extensive >v pnrchaßor. Ho .was then shown into the '-' sanctum, where hernot tha proprietor, and ■ T got rid of the oration. On leaving, andintent on doingan exhaustive business, he'proceeded a few steps further;;np -Cuba' Street, and : entered the next door I: andtt the courteous. '■■ #pwaJkerMi («Hh w tnvwr^'o{ ■ hia :

pntc-ut, wlieh the reply rsain oamo, : "f>ir, 1 ■ r.m liot'the toaa; ho is iri the office } Iwi 1 > show you in, but before you gD, pray ha^-o good look round. Hero, fir inslance, .iro childven'a,ockif g tlvit wo ■aw tolling at '.■lMSL'fo"' six pairs, and here also are six' ladies' stockings for la 9d. We ftboit fOOI p-uradispose of in this , line, and hav * a multitude. of ; otlisrs, ' varying in mal o, quality, and pros, up to v 6s 61 iv p'iv. HaVrdnsscry wo. 8-1: nt much lower- prioes -than aw usinl clcwhjr.% We li ve gloves of nil sorts ami qnal'.tii*. Hero for i.stanco, 'is a .-pcckil bargain in k.dg'uves~2!loo -.•at*at h lid honestly worth 3a Gil. : Pas -ing S.ilas pii to other departments, ho' saw to his surprise, tho vast piles of prints, and on asking the price of ouo lot, was told 2i per yard, Towels,- ca'icoo», sheetings, &c., alicamo in duo order nniW Wb inspection. until ho adroitly inveigle' into the showroom, ■ where ho was invitod to purchase trimmed 9lints for 1b 9d each, an Ito admire a di.v.lay flPof niHiiutry as urand and tasteful as could be seen in any.P \ris, London or Now York liouso Nor, was lib allowed to overlook the abundant eboico of mantles from 2s lid to 60j, ■ costumes, fronj 3s 61 to 3 guinea?, and ladies s'ays from Is to 4s 6d cadi, " Well," ejaculated Silas," your prices nre tempting enough, and, as lam a family man, I s?o it will be to my ndvaiitigo to sottlcin your city; aendmy purchases on to Gilmer's Royal Oak Hotel." He was then taken by tho sliamralkcr to the office, where his name w|pg,ain announced, and tho usual,oratory commenced : "Si', the advancement of civilisation, tho amelioration of the—" but suddenly recognising tho proprietor, " Gums I have got back to the sanio quartern ng.iinl" Due apologies having been made he retired, and once more -he Bought the exterior of tho building, abnsiii» his luck for loss of time, and making for tho next : door' higher up, opening into a large carpet warehouse. On entering he was accosted by the salesman, to whom ho began to explain his mission, but the reply ho g"t was, " You had better see the boss, lie is in tho office; but before you go, let me tell you if you arc wanting to lit up a nice snuggery, Silas, we are ilia boys to do it. Just look atour from 18 inches to 72 iiichcs wide, Brom ujd to Is 8d per yard ; ourlinoloims, ▼ 27 inches to 12 feet itido; honeycomb ~ quilts from 3s lid; lace curtains from 2s 6d per pair; tablecloths from ss ; fid each; white blankets, from 7s Gd to 50s per pair. We have lots of tapsstry 'from Is 9d per yard, and Brussels from 3s 6i Silas made his purchases aud said Ihere were mighty cheap tilings iii this location, fie then proceeded to the office, but to his utlcr astonishment found himself in the same room and face to face with tho same proprietor. " Wlnt on earth does all this nmnljDo you Sir, own all Cuba-street!" " JjjE quite," wis Mr Smith's reply; " but yoilfiavo not scon the half of it yet. There are tho tailoring, mantle-making, dressmaking, millinery, and l'efreshmoiit y rooms yet to bo visited." " L ; fe is to 6 short to see them all," said Silas," but I would not like, to pas 3 tho Refreshment Roo n," and With' your permission we will adjourn to it. No sooner said than done Silas was ushered into a beautifully furnished room and regaled with a delicious cup of cocoa and sundry toothsome confections at mere nominal-charges. Nor were his surprises to end here, for as lie was about to pass out of the main entrance, the impertnrbably polite shopwalker came forward, and said " Sir, [ find your purchase* amounted to the sum of £25, and as we are now distributing our.Christmas gifts allow me to present you with this card which f iorisoi you to make a full of of the beautiful articles before you to amount nf £2105." Tiic Eelcction was kly nude, and S'las deputed convinced that the States did not monopolise a'l ihe smartness of crca'ion sines there was such a su etabundauce of it at To Aro House. "Rough on Hats, Clears out rats, mice, roaches, flies, ants, bed-bugs, beetles, insects, skunks, jack-rabbits, sparrows, gophers. At chemists and druggists, " Ik'UHU-P.UBA." Quid, complete euro, nil annoying Klcj»|fr Bladder, and Uuinavy diseases. - At Chemists & Druggists.. Kemptliorne, Pro3ser k Co.', Agents, Wellington. Wo strongly adviso any oue requiring real value for their immey to purchase their clothing at Tho Wairarapa Jlothmg Factory, They keep nono but genuine N. Z. iweede in stock and their N. Z. tweed Suits made to measure are guaranteed unequalled in the colony for lit, style, workmanship, and price, One trial will convince those who way doubt what we say—note address, The Wairarapa Clotluni' Factory next Mason'n E. B; Hare Manager .i»VT. ; 'So as to give every porsou an opportunity of being in a position to have a comfortable pair of boots and. shoes to wear during the holiday season, H. PETERSON, of :thc Excelsior Root Depot, lws determined to cut down the prices at such a low liguroas to euable wiß and all to share alike. Customers are reminded that theso reduced prices are solsjjfon CASH purchases.—Advt