PARLIAMENTARY SKETCHES

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume IX, Issue 2752, 17 November 1887, Page 2

PARLIAMENTARY SKETCHES

Our .Wellington . Watchman.

"How many days How many days have we sat ?'' plaintively "queried Sir George Grey in the House on Tuesday night. " Twelve!" replied some young member, bursting to demonstrate that he was in posses: sion of at least one piece of accurate., information. " Twelve I" echoed Sir'. George, "Twelve! and what liave°we done?" A melancholy voice moaned. " Nothing I" and every corner and cornice of. the .House echoed and reechoed back the word—' 1 Nothing \"

And Nothing sums up the situation accurately and tersely, if by ..Something is meant legislation. It would be untrue to say nothing has been done, if by something we signify jaw 1 jaw!! aud again jaw 11! Men may some and men may go, but the "jaw" of the ordinary member wags on for ever,. But something after all has happened; My readersmay remember that a short time since I prognosticated a Harmatt'an. Well, sure enough, the gale .has burst, and at the present moment it is difficult to tell what spars bave gone by the board, what political canvas is tattered or whole. But, as the penny-dreadfiilshaveit.letj us not anticipate.

Since I last wrote |I have dropped! into the House on one or two occasion's, but found nothing Worthy. of record in these imperishable pages until Tuesday. On Tuesday afternoon tbe usual Wellington Southerly Buster, charged with rain, once Antartic ice, howled round in its usual low and disagreeable manner, and some intuition warned me that the war of elements without might possibly be repeated on a tamer scale, within the walls "Of the stormy house,', .so, despite driving rain and screeching wind, I wended a devious way to New Zealand's National Menagerie.

Arriving a few;minutes late I found members" wrastling" with notices of motion. Why a member getting rid oi one of thesenotioea should imagine himself an Anglican Clergyman announcing a Sacramental Sunday I know not; certain it is, however-, that the majority of the Hon. Gentlemen appear to say, " Dearly beloved brethren, on Tuesday next I purpose to administer to all those, &c, &c,"

Shortly after my entryjv.ahd before I had,got the hang of things,, my Old friend, Hallelujah Hobbs,.'. entangled himself with a motion or question of some sort, and got it' round his legs and tongue in such a' manner that he became almost helpless. Poor Mr Hobbs cannot help his voice; which is maryelously jnild for so iulhgrown a man, but it' would certainly conduce to his own happiness aud mine if he would purchase or obtain on the timepayment system a brand-new assortment of lungs, and; thereby deprive Messrs Seddon and Turnbull of the felicity of guying him and howling to him to " Speak up.l We can't hear "a woard! Sp-eak up, cant you!" .

Mr T. Mackenzie -with ft frown is to-day, I rejoice to see, Mr Mackenzie with a sinile. He is jocund; lie laugheth all over his countenance, as when the sun bursisthrough a winter's storm in " Caledonia stern and wild," I think Mr T. Mackenzie has discovered that the Californian thistle stands, no show in New' Zealand against the Scotch variety of that vegetable, and is happy.;

During the questions, &c, I take the liberty of. talcing a little further stock of Master V 7. P. Beeves, or Windy Phenomenon Beeves, as he should be called, While Boy Reeves was new and strange, he contented' himself with sitting in a conspicuous front seat, twiddling the place : where .his moustaches may possibly-be' when he is a bigger lad,arid' blushing and looking fierce when anyone happened to stare at him. But familiarity, as is usual with the small boy,- has bred contempt, and now Master Eeeyes, with his hands in his pocket, among the tops and marbles there stowed, his back well arched, wandereth about the house and poketh his nose—which is the only important feature, mental or. physical absout him-into every hole antf .corner and into every persons business, as wo'havo.aU seen the nervous but impudent little' bow-wow, dodge in and' out at a fair, Master Beeves, is arriving, at that awkward age when the. voice of .tlie adolescent is neither that of- a: boy ■. or man, when strange down, sprouteth upon the chin,' and the terider-iyouth- blushetli when "in the society Of the fairer sex. He is .at the. samp time intensely anxious to attract attention, and perfectly appalled when'he has,attracted it.' 'Boy-like,-he is never still a moment.'. He puts his-feet and nose into air sorts; of places he should hot, and if any person speaks in a low. voice, he rises and puts bothjiis. hands to his ears—though they are pretty long, too,

By the way, do you know why the three Canterbury children—Ehodes, Beeves and Perceval will never; on a division, be found among the ayes ? Because they are all Nose. (N.B—Thisfine crusted joke is copyright, registered. Parties desirous of using it as original may obtain terms, &c„ at office of this paper.)

Apropos of nothing in particular that was a neat thing in circulars which, referring to a member of the House, was sent to each Legislator and Wellington newspaper. I have the interesting document before me as I write' it is headed "An infamous Career." It '.accuses the lion, gentleman of having been publicly charged with receiving money, as a bribe for assisting to procure an extension of a lease from a certain City Council of which the hon. gentleman was then.'a member, and of offering a portion- of the said bribe to a brother Councillor, who refused it, It further accuses the

lwn.Vgentlainan of accepting a bribe of £590, when a;;member of a Harbor Board, for services rendered to the contractor, under.-'the ißoard in. getting a certain contract.,lt. proceeds to declare that these charges were made in the columns of a'certain, influential paper by responsible .men; that during the election of 'B4, the Hon. .gentleman issued a writ against the' persori who first accused him of these' niatters. and that a few .days afterwards the Hon gentlemati's solicitor forwarded to the solicitor of his.acotiser notice of discontinuance of the action. It (the circular)' moreover charges .the hon. gentleman with receiving another ,£SOO bribe for betraying the interests •of the ratepayers.. In conclusion, the •ciMlar charges the hon. gentleman with the grossest immorality,

■ charges are either; true or. untrue. a foul wrong has been done'an hon. .gentleman, aud he should at once persecute liis traducers. If trud tben\ thehon. gentleman is doing the .'country; a foul wrong by sitting in the House,; I see no escape from these position!?... •WAIBAHAP^CALEDONIAN. ; . -..'■'

THE.annual Meting ofthe Wairarapa Caledonian; SpcietyJwas heldlasti evening (Wednesday), President,'' in the .chair.'there-rboihg about a dozen members present.. '.' •The balance sheet for the past year was read, shewing receipts' : from, all sources to b6 £l6O, expenditure £143, leaving-a credit, balance of £l7, Liabilities were put' down at £B, and assets £B3.

.In, moving the adoption -of the; balance sheet, the.President congratulated the Society; on its. success, and said it, was gratifying to find themselves in'such a flourishing condition, us it was an indication, that, the members took great interest in the, affairs of the Society. The Balance Sheet was adopted unanimously. - The President drew attention to the fact that the Secretary—Mr W. Sellar —performed the duties of his office gratuitously, and had done so since the formation of the Society in 1878. AS the duties were onerous, and the success of the Society was in a measure due to the energy and adility of Mr Sellar, he considered" that he was fairly entitled to some recognition, from them.

The members' /presenti- expressed' themselves liighly pleased-with tho : maimer in which -Mr Sellar had per-; formod the work apnertainirig :to ; the, office, and it waß unanimously resolved., that be be' granted a bonus of ;ilO, and a vote of thauks for. the interest he had displayed towards the Society!' ; v .' ■ Mr Sellar briefly acknowledged.tE'ff honor conferred upon him. The following Mw ; mombers: were elected: Messrs R..Campbell, A, : Brown, J, Maxwell, Jaimes McKenzie, andJ»Hessey. ~; :, ;.; . .'.' : ..' ...''. As the rules of the -Society provided' that' the Vice President should.- be elected as President ;each succeeding year, Mr G. Heron, V,P. was called upon to occupy the;: President's, chair, for the ensuing year.- v- v

' A vote oi thanks, was accorded to-Mr Wi Lowes for his past services to the Society, he having'been the firstPresident in 1876, and having subsequently held the office for seyeralyeafs; . • ' ; ."" ".';;;.' Messrs W. Perry and P. Gray were 1 ' nominated for the office of Vice President, the former being unanimously elected by ballot. ' ■ '•■ ■:

Mr W. Sellar was re-elected' Secretary aud Treasurer arid Messrs J. lornla as &. J.Fittonas auditors. .' ' , . Ten directors.were ballotted out and the following were .electedto fill the vacancies Messrs "W. Lowes, T. Mackay, Donald McPhee, Murdoch McKenzie.'A. W. Hogg, A. W. Cave, J. Muir, Donald McKenzie, A. Mutrie and J. Livingstone. The following judges were appointed.; Messrs, J. Boss, F. Gray, C. Ej Bremner, W. McKenzie, T. Brown,' W. Perry, W. B.Buick, James Harvey, R. Cameron. W. Miller, J. Livingstone and D. McPhee. Starters; Messrs Elkins, Fitton, and Muir. Ha.ndicappers: Messrs Boss, Elkins, Muir, and O'Connor, Programme Committee: Messrs I owes, Heron, Mackay, T. Brown, W. Perry; F. Gray, Muir and Bremner. Ground. .Committee: Messrs Fitton, Heron, % McKenzie, and Boss, Piper! Mr J. Stewart.

It was decided to recommend to the programme committee the advisability of curtailing the number of events on the programme. The meeting then adjourned till next Saturday evening at eight o'clock, the programme com : niitfcee to meet at 4 o'clock th.e,same afternoon.