STAGE ABSURDITIES.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume VIII, Issue 2367, 7 August 1886, Page 1 (Supplement)

STAGE ABSURDITIES.

By as old ' Pro.'

How refreshing if. would be to meet an ai.tor named Smith among the multitudes of Sydneyg,. LV Veres and Howards, who elbow each other orr the boards, No one would regret the abolition oi the 'aside' but the dramatic author, and it must be confessed that for iiim it is little short of a godsend, Is the plot too complicated, the tangled skein is unravelled in a moment by a few words addressed to the audience. Is there no natural sequence to his incidents the .'aside' once more makes all things clear, so that it is to be feared that the. playgoing seotion of the public will have io resign themselves to the infliction, with the best grace they can. Another barbarity, though of less beinoußness than the one just mentioned, is the practice of the orchestra striking up, at what the play hills call the 'thrilling scenes' of the drama. An assassination or a duel is almost invariably accompanied by a tremolo on the fidddles, or, as likely as not, the clash of the weapons does duty as a kind of cymbal obligate to the tune; the parties in a life and death strueale making their blows fall in exact timi to the music, And then again there are the slow strains that are wedded to stage deaths. The villian of the piece would fain to give up the ghost if bis flefitiii!; fpirit were not soothed by the efforts of tho band. His last gasps are four to the bar, and his final gasp is tinifd to coincide with the finish of the theme. The absurdity of the whole thins is so apparent, that it issurpiisinjur anti-tlimax iti not oftener brought-about, Another- custon that is to be deprecated, though, in this case the blame lies with the audienco, is that of "calls." A character who had been killed, and even pbihaps buiied, is expected to appear in front of tie curtain to bow his acknowledgments to an applauding house, Indeed a waggish pit and gallery will often refuse to lot a performance proceed till they have ocular proofs of the deid man's resurrection.

_We may also instance the stage disguise as a glaring inconsistency. Give a man a slouch hat and n long oloak, and his own mother fails to recognise hitr, though the audience, with perhaps an acquaintance of half—-an-boiir. spot him directlv. He will go into the midst of bis foes, and successfully baffle all attempts to read his identity, by the primative method of holding the all-powerful' cloak before his face. Conduct of this sort would excito the suspicion of a Scot land yard detective, but tbe guileless occupants of the boards see nothing extraordinary in finch behaviour, and the daring adventurer departs scatheless,

And now we approach, with fear and trembling, that riddle of riddles, stage generosity, Peer and peasant, count and costermoncer, will insist on bestow, ing their purses nn tbe slightest provocation. The high-born noble and the poverty stricken seamstress arp alike in this piece of traditionary niwiii'-ss. A service performed, however idijht. is there and then acknowledged by the gift the purse, and if it happens to contain tho whole wnrldlv wealth of the donor, so much the bptter, One or two acti-pssfis have, had the moral coiirajo to be satisfied with parting with a portion of the contents, and nil honour to them for lefusing to flmifc probability and declining to continue an idiotic custom.

But for downright unfehparfiedabsurdity, the performance at i travel ling theatre certainly hears off the palm especially when the company essay what is termed a legitimate drama, At a representation of the ' Moor of Venice,' in one of these Temples of Thespis, a 'walking gentleman 1 addressed the hero as ' old fellow, 1 and

that worthy himself alluded to the partner of his joys and sorrows .as ' besdomiW; a most terrible fellow he was, with hi* long black hair animated with oil,mid an unparcllelwl moustache; while towards thu md of the play the burnt cork had entirely vanished from'the region of his mouth, owing to repeated applications to a large stone jar tilled with boer. Dining one of the intervals between tho scenes of the tragedy there was rather a long wait, consequent upon a gallant attempt on the part of the management to make some two or three scenes do duty for the entire play; and to calm the impatience of the 'house' a gentleman watt sent in front, who sang a comio song, and reiterated with great fervour bis desire to bp a butcher's cat. Before ha had finished, no doubt, the audience heartily concurred in his wish, The whole performance was calculated to make the' Bard of Avon' turn in his grave, but the results were apparently more satisfactory to the actors- themselves, for ou leaving, the' walking gentleman' above referred to was returning in triumph with the stone jar filled to the brim.--Observer aud Free Lauce.