CHRISTMAS DAY ON A "GROWLER."

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume VIII, Issue 2319, 12 June 1886, Page 1 (Supplement)

CHRISTMAS DAY ON A "GROWLER."

'{■ By ■Archibald: Forbes)'

::,'■!■■ ir:-wa'S'.i^ carry':- intooffect'the .idea, ■wiii'clvbcc.iii'red :ip/i[ve, that it ..would --b'eVa novel 'and; ■TiVfi;h\stfti«jox-iiericnce.--.t0.-si'jj.enil 'Christ-'; mas';Dn.y r in tliecapacityof; ii-imir-wheefcab.^;.;'''! Ch-uliflbwer;Bill'.'. ■'wa's"-!i.s hard -.'to ;bo. : p.eraiiiidi)d us any ■Ktilf-iiceked Israelite-oi. old. :",oauli v ;*(lowoi- Bill"--so...nicknamed, as I; learned, I : juiij number of •■grog:.\bl'dSspnYs .-on his; 'iips'e. which ho tound.: ;: it Vn.ec;ess.firy : Sopowder profusely 'to' danger of erysipelas dr-sprae. : a.uclt .■(l'i'.soi;dui'f-r" Cauliflower. Bill" :was ,'ihe. ow.iierof!i. : single v cab. andi ft .priir of-'■l.-oj-sesv and I "had imuln -overtures ;tiv 'liiiii-, having been ncqu.'ain.te'd ■wilhhiiir for w.mm time, under the belief tha'the would bo a likely pin ti> servo my turn, us ho would not run w much .risk iii lending me his badge for the day as would a man who drove for a iimster. Bill was willing to discuss the in iiier ml hkvihw, so long as the palmer was moistened by hot rum and wau'f; but bis consent was hard indeed to obtain. " I'm liable to a penally o' live, ipiiiV was tor a long time hi'.; ullimatnui,—" and the forfeit u' tin' licence, besides, and you knows wot that spells, iluvuor!" But I got him round ul, last through a judicious ■appeal in ik missus, whom Bill, like a good husband, obeyed in all things. The iiii:;-;ns thought the risk was nothing for the ore: day, " if so be that the .'''•a leuiau knows 'ow to drive." My

'■■apabtlities in that regard the missus crilieulty inspected from her open windo.'.-, v. 1 fooled the growler tip and ik'wn the mews, and she was good fii'jugh iu pronounce that I'd '' do." fco i' '-t:i.i arranged that for n consideraih'i" I was t.tlie virtually "Cauliflower I'll!" lor Christmas Day, heing entitled i" tin- use df his cab-horse, whip, cape, lug;', and badge, with the stipulation i Inn I was on no account to approach the rani; which Bill himself was in the iajhii uf using, and where, therefore, there w.v-; a likelihood of the spurious fell king detected. ,'u- nine o'clock punctually .1 was in i.i.i)'.- :nai.riinoiiial Imwer, wlterel found tii'-: ink us engaged in making a Christinas pudding, and Bill divided between nervousness as to our arrange meat and a pint of dog-nose. My insertion into the caped cloak was the. iifsi. consideration, for 1 happened to be a few sizes larger than Bill. But it tut leal out to be a garment, which in effect, h'eted everybody, siuee it had no particular tit about it whatever, and.l suddenly found myself iu it, I eon not say it, admitted of much freedom in the vicinity of the Incept: muscle, arid if had a peculiar predilection for entangling itself in ones legs, while it vv;;s not to be disguised it had an ancient and lish-likc smell, as if it, had been slept iu by a hoi'se in a Sfcnto of stab: perspiration. The edifice was crowned ly ■' Cauliflower Bill's" bat a structure of many wrinkles aud much 'vnsUmws. which at once imparled to me the aspect of a ratcatcher under a eiotid. Bill wrapped around my throat his Volunnms comforter, in which, as it seemed was vested the valuably pro petty ot conferring on the wearer the husky hoursdtess of voice which is so elmra-cieristic of the eabman species. My legs were greaved iu a pair of leathern gaiters of my own, and when .1 was finally made up, with whip in iiuiiila.'id iiadgb on breast, the missus ■Was pleased to say that she " wouldn't ha ! kttowed mo from Bill hisseif'—a compliment which, from such a source, was inexpressibly gratifying. I was informed Ity Bill that, as it was Christmas .Day, he expected uie to bring him home twelve .shillings at the \ery least, nnd that four o'clock was the hour at which] should come back to change horses, when, said the missus, " you're Vartily welcome to a bit o'dinner wi' me an' Bill. These preliminaries Mettled, 1 said good morning to the missus, and Bill and I turned down, and " out to."

Bill's lit.it horse I found aa uncom plaining ami conscientious, but decidef.liy 'XKvMvh (jiindi'iipnil. He took a great, ileal of llow'mg, owing to tlie j.ic(iili;:rii')' that ulieit you hit him only (luce or liviti', in; persisted in regarding flux ;i:i a .sigmtl to fall into a wall:, and iutii to lit.; aigued out of tlii! error by euiuinued applieatioiia of tho short and i-i'.Jir ;• im.'liiewiit whip with which Bill hil provided mc. Further, he never *.a-: tpi tip happy unless when lie was Viiiml .vane vehicle which was pronwdin;; ni the rati* of id ion i, two miles an i'loiif, and evidently took it. much u> heart when, compelled to pass the saine, .lie li'iil a. tpkmsiiut hah'it of hipsini" Jul;:) iMiunwsr whenever allowed to stand Htili, and it; this somnolent condition would ever and anon all but, tillable down, saving himself only by a. scramble which was calculated to impart a nervous dread to anyone interested in his Welfare. Further, he had up mouth to speak-of, limped (til round, and had the most aggravittingly assertive siniuri of a tail of any horse I over kneiv. But he had his virtues. He never tried to fun away, and to shy on any provocation, was clearly not in his nature, It was in the Camden Hbiuhvlufii I was hailed for my fir?t fair liy a nice-looking maid servant, where J. was to take up. My fare consisted, of a young lady~-a governess, p.ny>;!l.ily, two chubby little girls, juid ;i ii;)g. which obviously contained mincepie.:; and orange?, I was set to down at .King's- Cross, and I gathered from the

.gush of talk which preceded the filial adieu that the ultimate destination' of the'littlo oarty■ was■ a. certain■ aunt's hbuseC:at' Whitestoue Park, 1 As,l d.roy.e;.. oil. to'.the station, the, eldest/ of Jthedittliiv. miiids,.;a bright', faced:. : little

.thing,; stbiid 'up on. the seat and entered; .iiito.the/mostjainiising .c'pndescendiri!; ;converfiation' \ \y,itli.. '■'}] ■Mr./.Cabman.". She.'was 'iseven;fastvinbnth,;:and ;her, jiapavhad giyenfh'eV ■■'aVbe-aj'iitiful:■; (101 l .11 iat.l iiorniriy, iliul -aho had'; six.; Christnia^canls^aiiii./please 1 ha'd:Ti got. ,iihy Cll f j.a t tn'u s card s I Was.: I;. to sliaye; any. puddiivg .."for ' dinner ?4^sliG>.was—and ;had.l imy little.:girls : ,''aiid ; did they like . dolls ?.i\Vh iL'ti; I ispt; dd wii.f p , : tho; stii tibn,; ;l.iUle;Plaxe'nb.!iii' would, have: :it.Hthat ' \ -Mr Cabman'' should be ; : complimented ; with a miheepie and. an .flran'ge'i-putvqf 'tlieVpape'rbag;;.. '."■ -Iftthe largoncsscpflier ■heart thelittle one ui-god. vigprbusly; , % that to the. horse also 'should:.be : adiuinistered iin Orange, iiiitl exhibited., great wonderment that tli<- re3|iectiy.e quadruped—whieh had incontinently lapsed into slumber—was not fortd of the fruit. " Not fond, of oranges 1" quoth- little Flaxeiihair, with her hands in the sir, as, with a pretty nod to "Mr Cabman," she tripped into the station.

My next fare proved the fact—if it had required proof—that all the world, even at Christmas time, does not con' sist of Flaxenhairs. At the foot of tho Caledonian road I was chartered by four younj: men, who stipulated with me that for the sum of eighteen' pence and a drink I should drive them to Manor House Tavern, Finsbnry Park. They were pimply and un-wholesome-looking youths, with gaudy neckties, short inecrclianni pipes, and big A here chains of it ponderosity that interlered with one's belief in the goodness, There were two " Anys" in the quartette, and the other two went by slang nicknames. It is hardly worth my while to describe them more minutely, since any one who wishes to study the genus in its most offensive development needs only to visit the " saloon" of one of the more slangy music-halls. These interesting young gentlemen smoked bad tobacco, and swore with vigour and volubility all the way to Fiusbury, One of them tried as he leant oat of the cab window : to cliall'a girl who was obviously on her way to church; but by tlie merest accident in the world, the thong of Bill's whip happened to drop rather sharply across his pimply face, which he thereupon drew in with some precipitation. I was surprised at the number of pedestrians who were trampiiit; outward bound aloft" the Seven Sisters' Road. In my simplicity I ascribed the concourse to the. rural charms of Finsbury Park, which f remembered in the- days of the great Cox to have heard conventionally spoken and written of as " one of the lungs oi Loudon. This appellation may be strictly correct, in which case I have only to remark that London has a lung which is eminently ugly, cheerless, forlorn and generally unpleasant. There is little enough in Finsbury Park to entice a visit from any pedestrians ; but it is abundantly clear that the pedestrians of the Seven Sisters' did not car" a cent about the amenities, Inn had a fixed goal of some sort before their eyes,, as they strode past the park gates, and keeping to the road held on towards the green Lanes. Beyond the tramway terminus they increased in number, so that the pavement was in a manner thronged. The outward-bound current, pushing on brisky, indeed sometimes fiercely, met tho inward-bound current, dawdlim; along more leisurely, but the people Comprising the latter always gave ground deferentially to those of the former, as if recognising their greater urgency. They were not, for the most part, wholesome looking or creditable wayfarers who this Christmas forenoon jostled the churchgoers off the pavement of the Seven Sisters' Boad. Hulking louts in moleskins nnd anklejacks, with dingy shirts open at the throat, d rotor young men in o quasiSunday attire, elegant extracts from the crowd that gathers about the head of Whitefriars Street when the display of ii telegraphed bulletin of an i,npwtant race is imminent over the way; numerous first cousins of the young gentlemen who constituted my jiiresnch and such like were tlie pedestrians we passed or met. And whither were they going or whence were they returning I To one and all there was or: had been, a common goal—the Manor House Tavern. For the; thirsty souls in London there was iin lap ready to How with strong drink' for the Hum with money in his pocket, sniee Christinas Day is as the Sunday to tlie public houses. But a walk tn tlie Green Lanes is held .to impart the character nf.a bona fide traveller, that generally undefined and extremely vague character; and the competitive examination for admission to the alcoholic privileges of the Manor House Tavern is a very ■' little go" in deed, : A policeman stood at the crossing over the way, no doubt charged with tho duty of seeing that no actual or pro. fessing bona fuk traveller was kept out of his beery birthriglit. Outside were drawn up some half dozen chaises and ca : bs, whose initiates presumably, in the course of journeys involving issues of life and death, had aiicci'imbed to stern necessity, and had found themselves ■wholly nimble to proceed with refresh? nienf-Si The "'Anys"andtheir mates alighted, and hav'inp; paid me my eighteenpence, expressed theirreadineSS to fulfil their bargain and ■" stand a wet." To get in was the easiest thing

in the world' The outer door was wide open, and on. the door unit outside the unbolted inner door stood a mild and: graining janitor, .He did not waste words'by asking the applicants for' admission .whether they were travellers j : -'that.went without saying. " Where from 1 was. his simple and laconic routine-formula.,;. was the response of one of the "'Anys" with a horse-laugh, and straightway the gate of this elysium was .''opened unto us..;; The;spacious, bar was so..:crowded that.it. was. difficult to get sorved;;'and the' : landlord must find.much cause for ' self-congratulation that .the .spirit, of bxploratory enterprise .is so highly -developed:..among \\\n inhabitants. of London, more" especially.at hours.when itsguerdon is sti:oiig.Hclrihk:<: As', my faros.lisid.got itito a-:'snug;corner,, and appeared .bent on makiiig;a fprono'on/of -it,;';l.' started' .buck-'., to; Joggirig'slbwly .biiß : Augel : : : at: Islington, As one o'clook air beciimo full of the fragrance. of baked meafe. Men and .children were;: to be seen, towels and tickets m hand; diving into tlie pmlieus of. the bakeliorise, imd reremergihg with baking dißhes and tins, the contents of which sent forth the., most "appetising odoiuu I had breakfasted early, and the scentkindled my hunger, so I drew; on to the stand, and telling the policeman there, according to Bill's instructions, that I was going to have some refreshment, I sought the "watering-house/ 1 and found many of ray brothers] of the whip engaged in huge platefuls of roast pork and cabbage. Having lunched a little unctuously, I again mounted the box, which by this time I found becoming very hardand cramped, and jogged on towards Pentonville Mill. At the end of a street leading into the Barnsbury Koad, T wus'haikl by a "enlleimm who was strictly entitled to the appellation of the head of a family. He had the family with him, as well as that fruitful vine bis wife, si purposeful looking middle-aged woman, who looked us if an odd child more or less was a trifle of which she took no account. An for the children, I absolutely decline 10 commit myself to statistics as i.n their number. Thoy positively swarmed mi and around the parent stems,' so that, there was no possibility of getting or keeping count of them. "Ciui you take the lot on us, Cabbie!" was the cheery question of the happy father of this brood, A cab has its limits of available space, and 1 felt scarcely justified in suiting that the clu'dren should lie packed in layers. But I loft the problem to settle itself, and they all got in somehow, except the father, who rode oh the box beside me, with a child in his arms that had been overlooked in the packing. Our destination was a street off the Blue Anchor Road, Bermondsey, and my box companion, who was one of the chirpiest and most laughterloving of mortals, imparted to me the information that he and his were on their way to eat their Christmas dinner and spend the Christmas afternoon with his good lady's parents, who, it appeared, were in the tanning interest, We got so friendly that he insisted on stopping in Tooley Street and standing a quartern of gin in three " outs," one of the said " outs" being administered to the fruitful vine inside the cab. I had to push Bill's horse aloiig the Grange Road, for my friend nourished the design of surreptitiously providing the dinner beer, and lie was in dread lest the public house should havo closed bt-fore our arrival. But we were in good time. At the sound of approaohiug wheels, an elderly lady, wondrous comely spite of the atmosphere scented with odours of bone boiling awl tan-yards in which 3he, lived, run oat,, extricated a child from the gab-window before 1 could pull up, and was kissing it, when the living avalanche fell upon " grannie" as the cab-door was opened. My box companion had secured my co-operation in his little plot, and I crossod the street for half a gallon of "old'and irild" while the family was surging in through the narrow doorway. When I returned with the drink, at the sight of which the grandparents simulated much displeased surprise, no denial was to be taken to the peremptory order, that Cabbie was to come in and have a glass. Already the children had pervaded the house and the backyard, which latter appeared to produce a plentiful crop of cockleshells. Grandfather was at the sink in his shirt sleeves pouring off the water from the greens, while grandmother alternately basted a joint that hung by a worsted string by the lire and kissed her youngest grandinfant, which she held in hor lap, and whose bare bald head was so near the.; fire-'that it seemed: to me.that., basting Wpuhl be a wise precaution with regard to it also, You should have seen the lavish way in which the dresser was decorated with evergreens, and you should have sniffed the fm-: grant scent which came wafted from the copper in the back kitchen, in which the pudding securely tied by a towel, was boiling till the very moment arrived at which it should be served 1 It was a very humble mnage, but never was there better testimony to the truth of the wise man's words,— "Better is a dinner of herbs where lovo is, than «. stalled ox and. hatred therewith." Not;thatonrfrieitdsw!Jfe.' vegetarians-far from it; and if the: beef turned out tough, I can only say that it was .a..very perverse and malign pant proceeding on.'its-part,- in.the face of .the; old; lady's aaaidiiity in basting, But I ani sure that the Beef ..had, a hotter senge of the fitness of the'

things than to do anything of the kind | . A. slow drive over .fclnv water from Bermondesy—Bill's. hoioO appeared to go tho slower the more he practised moving-brought ( (iie to the mows inhabited by "Cauliflower Bill" precisely at the hour which that worthy's good lady had slated to be their dinner time, Of the succulent fare which that ebtiraateable matron placed before her husband and myself, designing also to partake of some herself, I will not speak at length ; yet would I breathe the,, secret that t the unsurpassable excellence of Mrs '■' Cauliflover Bill's plum; pudding was imputed by. herself to the circumstance that, among its ingredients, .wore■/.minced apples And grated carrots., and;, potatoes, / When we haidined I felt at oiice : so tired and., so comfortable that I determined tofbrego further growler, driving,, and instead accept ." Cauliflower Bill" as ■my.;Gamaliel,.and,:.sittingat his feet, listen' to- aomo of: his experienee in the professioni, ''Kebsj"quoth '.8i11," as he drank his rum; and;water;;_ahd;; whirled :at hia bhurchwarden; .;■;<• I brtei'- know snmraat about .kebs,. J ought." : ;:I. were found in the. hOot of a : Paddington stage, years afore the busses, /were thought on. I've driiy, ah.ackney. :C.oach and keb these height-an'thirty year, and ain't done yeti am f,.missus.? Some queer things I knows consarnin'kebs, that I do, Why, there's young Billy .Sprig»sis niarrad to a'gai as niy hold mute Tommy Tooliftle found in his four-wheeler a dissolute new-bom baby. It's geap-el'truth I'm t'bllin' yo:ii. Tommy took tip a lady and gen'leman—quite the real toff, yon know, and no gammon —in Piccadilly, and he sets 'em down at Charing Cross, an' pulls on the rank in Trafalgar Square. He 'adn't been there ten minutes when he 'eais a sqnallin' inside his keb, and blessed if on the mat thero warn't a lftyin' a babby wrapped up in a red woollen shawl' In them days the shop for left property was Somerset 'Ousts, 'an Tommy was on his road there with the kid, when it appeared to him as ( ow he'd better let his missus see it fust Tommy's missus, I must tell yon, never 'ad no young 'uns of her own, an' we used to chaff Tommy cos lie warn't n father. Well Tommy's missus stripped the kid, It was dressed uncommon fine, an' wot d'ye think'(-.inside its roller were a twenty.pun Bank o' Hengland note So Tommy an' 'is missus hadopted the kid and brought it up, and the gal turned out a good darter to 'em as ever wos, and the hold lady—Tommy's been a croaker these six years—lives along o' her an' her husband. Tommy told me as how be onst reco'iiisfd tlie lady as left the kid in his keb, a' drivin' in a swell kew'idge with a coronite on the panels sn' l a kupnle o flunkies a hangin' on behind, He was sure she was a countess, if not a duohess, an 1 'ad a mind to foller Vr 'Oitie an'see wot-, she were niado of, But he let it alone, for by this time him an' his missus got fond o' the young 'un, that they'd have done anything sooner than part with it," This is a sample of "Cauliflower Bill's" gossip about his profession, .which might be indefinitely prolonged, for Bill is a full reservoir of yarns, which stream out fluently the moment the sluice is raised. But there is a certain family resemblance about most of his stories, and the render may be better content to lake them as told.