ROUND THE WORLD.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume VIII, Issue 2290, 8 May 1886, Page 3

ROUND THE WORLD.

"Ah inel" said a pious lady, "our minister was a -very powerful preacher, for the Bliort time ho ministered the word among us ho kicked three pulpits to pieces and banged the in'ards out of live bibles."

■ Dean Swift preached before tho Merchant Tailors Company, at .three-'several anniversaries. The limt time he took for hia text, " Steal no more." Tho members of tho Company look umbrage at this; tho second anniversary, ho chose the words, " A remnant shall be saved." His audience wero more irritated than before; nevertheless, he commenced his third sermon as follows:—" There were lice in all their borders."

A lawyer, in addressing a jury, mado a statement that greatly exasperated his opponent, who sprang to his feet and exclaimed, "Sir, do you say that as a lawyer or a man! If you say it as a lawyor, all is right; but if you say it as a man, you tell a falsehood!" An Irishman, attending a conventional, heard a member make the following announcement:—" Brethren ana sisters, I am going to marry a daughter of the Lord." " Tho douce you are," says Pat, " an' it'll be a long timo afore you'll see your father-iti-law." Tho trallic through tho Mm'soy tunnel up to tho middle of February had been already much greater than tho promoters and during the week it. had been open nearly 250,000 people had crossed from Liverpool to Birkenhead by its means, whilst the ferry boats were almost deserted. Over 20,000 people passed through the tunnel one afternoon. Tho electric light has now entirely disappeared from the streets of London. The Boush light survived all the others, but it is no lomrcr visible in Cheapsidtfor Ludgate Hill, where it lingered longest, No public notice has been taken of the change back to gas, and the reason for the utter abandonment of the eletnc light by the corporation and vestries can only be surmised. In the list of private bills to be considered in the present session of Parliament chere i 3 only one relating to electric lighting in tho metropolis, and this is promoted by a company which finds it necessary to ask. for more time for the realisation of its concession. Tho

West London Company possesses powers which it lws been unable to exercise, and it now, asks for a letter license for another year or two, with exomption from some of the provisions of the act which define the term on which electricity shall be supplied, Is it the act that is a failure, or b it the electricity itself has failed to

realise its promises.—Exchange. Frank B. Fay, of Boston, who visited Europe somo years buicc, delivered an interesting narrative of his travels in a lecture to the Chelsea (Massachusetts) Literary Association. In the course of his lecture, he related the followinjj anecdote of Queen Victoria;—" It is reported that Her Majesty has a sweet little temper of her own, and tlwt her carasjwsa like a prudent man, generally retires before the storm, and locks himself in his privato cabinet, until the sky is clear and sunshine again illumines the classic ■shades of St, James's or Windsor. After one of these little ebullitions, the Queen gave a ' thundering knock' at the door of the room where Prince Albert had taken

refuge, and upon being asked, ' Who is there t responded, ' The Queon. 1 ' The Queen cannot enter here,' responded the hen-pecked. Aftov thelapso of half an' hour, a ' gentle tap' was heard upon the door. 'Who is thore?' asked Prince Albert. ' Your wife,' responded Victoria. ' My wife is always welcome,.' was the gallant reply." The latest noyelty in newspapers is published in Paris, and entitled the' Bon Guide.' It is the organ of the vagrants' and steady beggars' interests, But one copy is published, The craft are allowed to peruse it every morning, where they find the addresses of the charitahlo people, weddings and meets, good to he farmed. Advertisements are received, One is from a blind man, who is willing to sell his standing ground in a street; in fact, retiring from business. There is another wanting the services ef a blind fiddler and an intelligent child to do the guide, philosopher, and friend business, True,, the uses of the art of printing are everyday being more and more developed, A Western paper contains the following

advertisoiiKMit:—Wants ii situation, a practical jffintor, who is computtiiib to take i charge of any department in .it printing and publishing house, Would accept it professorship in any of the acadamies, Has no objection to teach ornamental painting and penmanship, geometry, trigonometry, and many other sciences, Is particularly suited to act as pastor to a small evangelical church, or as a local preacher. Ho would have no objection to form a small but select class of interesting young ladies, to instruct in the highest branches. To a dentist or chiropodist he would be invaluable, as ho can do almost anything. Would board with a family if decidedly pious. For further particulars inquire of Colonel Buffalo at Brown's Saloon."

Tho following'good election incident is related by "Dragiihet" in the Referee : " Tho other day, at a place called Prickwillow, a man was driving some cows from one farm to the other, and one of tho cows bolted and climbed a bank, Apainsfc thiis bank, and built with a sloping roof below it, is a blacksmith's shop, At the moment that the cow got oh the bank a Conservative politician was in the shop haranguing tho blacksmith—a Radical—i Mi'what ho was pleased to torm " Radical Hies and' false promises." "YouVe fieturned a Radical for tho county," said -the Tory, " and now where's your cow and three acres? Isuppose you expected 'them to fall through the roof," At this moment there was a crash, and through ■the roof there fell, right at tho feet of tho •' Tory disbeliever, a real live cow. He—- • tho politician, not the cow—gave a wild yell of terror and fled; "Be was afraid the three acres would follow and crush him. The story is absolutely triie. It occurred atPrickwiUow, the.cow belonged to Mr and the blacksmith's name was 'Stanley. The story was wired to Mr Chamberlain at once, and he sent it on to Mr Gladstone as a birthday present." With reference to the bill introduced into the House of Commons by Mr Bradlaugh to deprive any person of land which being fit for culture, is not cultivated, Trush observes:—" The Bill is» Consertativeone, for the scheme has been in operation iu China for several thousand ' years, In that auciont and conservative country, indeed, the man who does not do full justice to the land that he owns or - rents, is regarded as a public enemy, and treated accordingly. The Archdeacon ,of China: A History of tho laws, , manners and Customs of the People,' . says that there is a decree which enjoins all landed proprieties to see that their estates are kept in high cultivation, and the penalty for the braach of this law is confiscation of the neglected property to the Crown. In each Chinese Tillage thero is an agricultural board, composed of aged agriculturists. This board insists on each farmer cultivating ' his land to the fullest extent. If a farmer be negligent, lie is sent by a Board to a magistrate, who at once orders him to be flogged, tho number of stripes being in proportion to the quantity of land that he haß left uncultivated. The result of this '. excellent Bystem is that land in China is far better cultivated than in any other pari of world."