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Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume VIII, Issue 2236, 5 March 1886, Page 3

" I wish Iliad a gentleman opposite to me?" said an irritable old gentleman at a dinner party.".:? " Why do.you wisfr.u'ich a tiling ?" was' the'report. " You can.uit be more opposite to a gentleman than what you are at present." The " Sanity Record" writes" Dr Strathcn, of South Bank, Middlesboro',. when called-upon tofjivo cvidencp.at the Middlesbro' Town Hall recently, looked at the dirty copy of the Testament which was handed to him, and refused to liiss it on the gi ound that it a very serious thing to kiss a book that lwd been' handled--by all kinds of people ;•- there was. a great risk of catching disease in that manner. As this was held nbt to be a conscientious objection ■ within- the .meaning of the Act, tho doctor offered to make an affirmaM tion which was- dlso'.'refused. He then offered to kijs the book if a piece of paper I was put between it'urid his lips, but this was not allowed, and the doctor apparrently kissed the book under protest. Fow will deny, that the doctor's objections were reasonable."

Horace—"l .see .by the papor that there is hardlyji house in Russia in which there is not to bo found a bottle full Of—" Angelina— "The 1 horid things! Why don't Francis Murphy or Sam Jones go over to Russia and make them sign the pledge ? What kind of liquor did you say: was in the bottles ? Horace—" I didn't say anything about: liquor; I was going to say that the bottle's' 1 were full of water? from tho river Jordan." 7.v.-/"' : _ Angelina, - snappishly—" Well,: why didn t you say it then 1 . Some men don't know enough to go in when it rains."— froy Press,