NEPTUNE VISITS A SHIP.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume VIII, Issue 2208, 1 February 1886, Page 3

NEPTUNE VISITS A SHIP.

Xi [By ono who " crossed the line."] V*Tho following communication is (says tho Pall Mall Gazette) written by a Cambridge undergraduate who went recently on a voyago to the Cape in a trading vesselline of tho oldest customs of tho sea lately came under my notice, and in such a way as I am not likely to forget. As usuiil, after our six o'clock tea, we were seated in the saloon enjoying our game at cnbbage, when a blast from the foghorn, iit to awaken tho dead, put an end to our cards, Hurriedly we mado for tho deck, whero a sight never to bo forgotten mot our eyes. The evening was dark and cloudy, the moon entirely hidden, but the deck was brilliantly illuminated A with blue lights. From tho forecastle j . was issuing a procession that bailies description. First walkedFatherNeptune himself, leaning mi his arm liis young and beautiful wife, Ampliitrite. Neptune was dressed in long, wlnto, flowing robes—that is, a nightshirt; around his bead waved his grey locks, blowing before the wind in every direction ; his beard reached below his waist; on his head he wore a mitre of such tremendous size as to drive any bishop wild with envy; in his hand he bore his trident. His wife's dress was evidently on tho plan of " beauty unadorned,', for Gome red paint, a small red flag, and a mir of red bathing drawers constituted A; costume. Her flaxen hair in curly rases reached her knees. Following this august couple walked the hero of tho evening—the barber. Dressed all in . white, wearing a hat tho shape of a dicebox, half white, half black, with curly , white hair and whiskers, ho was sublime; but the Bublime changed into the awful when one perceived what lie carried in his * hands—instruments of torture rivalling & in their latent cruelty even those of W the Inquisition. Imagine standing and gazing upon a bucket of flour and water mixed to about the thickness , of liquid glue, of which you know you will receive a large share on your head. Recover, if you can, from that sight and look again. In his other, hand "lie holds a razor of such nwenitnde that it would not be ill amiss for felling trees, and think that soon that ed«e

of rough, rusty iron will be ploughing its meandering course across your innocent jaws, Following the torturer came two policemen armed with cudgels and dark lanterns, Hehind them crowded the crew: In spite of the awful solemnity of the Bcone, one could not but admire the dark, cloudy sky, the sky a blaze of phosplwrence; the flickering summer lightning, tig. grouping of the actors. Halting bJjpje the after deck, Neptune, in a loud TOice, with such calm disregard as to where he put his H's as would mako any classical author turn in his grave gave utterance, '"Earing that some of the crow of this ship 'avo not yet crossed the loine, and bin baptoized, my sons, I ham 'ere to see them done so." Evidently Noptunc's intercourse with British saia lora has been to tho disadvantage of his BtfJoquence. The sailors, at the finish (if 'rfweptuno's speech, cheered loudly,while from their midst stepped the two brawny policemen, one of whom was a nigger from Demcrara, and seized upon T, Meanwhile the torturer was not idle. Ho had seated himself upon a low stool, with his bucket before him, in his left hand a brush like a housemaid's broom, whilo with his right hand he was sharpening his razor on tho companion ladder railings. Alas for poor T.! Ho stood smiling before his executioner, who, evidently thinking the occasion too solomn . to smile at, put an end to his merriment by inserting as much as he possibly could ' of his mixture in his mouth. While he was &gaged in choking and spitting out *hajq|e could of tho concoction, his head was being covered to such an extent as to render his features quite indistinguishable. Then that awful razor came into OBQ, its broad rusty scraping away the dough like a plough in the chv soil. But how difficult it is" to take the "dough out of one s eye and mouth with a razorblade three feet long, on? cannot imagine, till one has tried! His Satanic majesty— I mean the barber—having scraped off as toftuch as pleased his fancy, the two policeBp came to the fore again, armed with Pickets of cold water, which, utterly regardless of what part of tho victim's body received tho water, they threw it in quick succession over him. I was the next victim, and went through tho same terrible routine; but at last it was all over, and I issued from the cold-water cure quito ready to see tho fun in treating the others to their dose. It was a novel experience, and ono not likely to forgotten, Then followed tho others ffho had not crossed the line, some halfdozen of them, but two wcro misssing. The police was soon after thorn, but "it was an hour before tho first ono was found, lying underneath the boilers in about the temperature of the place I had wish&l the barber in when I was being Bhafgi All this he endured rather than facets shaving, or I should say, shaving his face. Ho was quickly dragged upon the scene, and paid the penalty of his fear by a.double dose. Soon after this ♦he other,*h boy, was found concealed in 4 sail in the rigging ; lie, too got what he deserved for trying to escape justice. After all wero baptized; we had some 4ngs and dances, the barber being especily good at tho latter, and giving some Icellont clog dances and breakdowns, Poor Neptune had terrible trouble with his wife, who, suddenly discovering herself _ among a lot of sailors, became "skittish"—naturally, what woman would not? The songs and dances finished, grog handed all round, and with three cheers for us from the crow, we retired to ihe cabin to put on dry clothes, and t» tesr out handfuls of hair in endeavouring to rid our heads of dough. And so we erossed the line.