THE BLIGHTED AFFECTIONS INSURANCE COMPANY.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume VII, Issue 1922, 23 February 1885, Page 2

THE BLIGHTED AFFECTIONS INSURANCE COMPANY.

Several capitalists, if is rumored, have recently'"taken out letters of incorporation in England for a Blighted Affection* In. suranoe Company, with limited liabilities. The object, our informant states, is to guarantee the affections .of lovers, 'or, in cases of blighting,- to-offer suitable pecuniary compensation.;; Its advantages are manifold. Pecuniary compensation is grateful to a wounded spirit; the law recognises its justice, and continualcases of breach of promise testify to its larity. But then the public exhibition oW heart-strings involved, and the 'pubjictr tion of gushing v .correspondence • jM&the newspapers have their little unplSßitnesses. This company will avoid all that. There will be no publicity. The compensation will be liberal, and the security undoubted. . T .. , r Theformof application'is''said to be somewhat as follows: : ''?.'*'•'-'. The Blighted Affections. Insurance .Qampany, Limited. . ',-'; V I. What is your sex ? . . -.-.'l 11. What js your bona fide age 1 111. How many years have you b.eenat this age? IV. What istheprpaent; object of your affection? V. State if either ;of you have-'.-been blighted before. If so, which, : and why, and generally how about it,.. VI. Say if your family have Buffered much from blight,.: . VII. Say the greatest number of.blightings to be covered by this assurance, VIII. Fill in tho value aeV upon your affections. IX. Also the value present objects setnT' upon them. 7^' X. State, if sane, and (if possible)'gets" friend to state so too : ' ' - - XL Testimonials from be'reaveoffiid blighted. • - / ** : This system, itis expected, will prove a great success, as, owing to the large amount of cold'potatoes consumed during . ~the past year, love has experienced con: siderable wintry weatfer, ; -COnff sowig gentleman of' family, • whHa''Attending church ono Sunday morhtog:|ellWicslentiy in loye with a lady who, was not.only' the wife of a church-wirden, ..but.-possessed ijeven lovely daughters and a eom'plete file of twins. When he •disco.yered that, 'lm unfortunate lover ; was ■ disgonsplable ur|il he. found : thatfome' : ffSnd had taken ng|e pf hi?. pulcjiased ; apolicyiha-Mutual Rejection Association im.his name,-'whereby he nettea the.nett;'sum of'jElO ss'6d,'.which by conrtbißseurs.is considered; a fair compensation for the average blight. It is needless to say what a priceless;boon'such an enterprise would been ;jn -thpsV" days, when so many' 'disconsola'teVlqVon'are ft A daily driven to- suicide of .politics,' when the cruel father,' ferdciocls ; b'ull-dog,' and small, brother do soflbound.' The • French, railroad ap; about to adopt an which not only • attends tha\-gate with' fidelity, but Vigorously -rings : .a : M&on the approach of la-train. 1 ., : .-. T.iV Heilbron's German Worm IjCta and Fitzgerald's Koromiko-Extract are, Patented"—A.dvt. ',"".-' ■?':::.':. V.'. ■: ■■■ •-NAte IB OWvABr-tMRDSS.Mft.B'. Utilitt- . tion.of Bciencei ami «\t.yed- skilful .hands, can beoreadily.-applied 'to jneoietnal- purposes.'.Themean'eßi.Bhn»s,Vtliii.t:frp% by the wayside, hath a virtue that, .mteUieetftly comprehended; may be turnetfto profifeWeiccount. The world knows the intrinsic'.pJO|irJi)>i of till celebrated Juniper-berry, original • conception, so to ■eßract/:' j&nd.icom: pound its marvellous fd.'generafo that .equally wondrous restorative,'known si Udolpho' Woifk's r ScmjbAM -Ab6«atiq Schnapps. - ■'',: ' .. .Das* die 11* the hodrb-.'•■Rough-pn Pjtjl. clears out rats, miije.'p.ootleß, .roaches;, bed-bug's, flies, »utfc'in'BwtiTmples,'j(iok,;rjlbite gopher* 7P-N.2,.Dnig.Go'mb'a»y' ! ? ' - r " Thick HEAra.-lfeavy" stomaebs, bilieu conditions—"Wells- 1 May Apple" SW'iMnij bilious, cathartic, 6dandk N. Z. Drug Oo.^B